Guest post: Mrs.Correia on the War on Women

This was written by my wife, the lovely Mrs. Correia, hard core viking warrior woman, and stay-at-home mom for the last 12 years.

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A few thoughts about the “War on Women”

            Recently Hilary Rosen made some comments about how Ann Romney, a “stay at home” mom hasn’t worked a day in her life.  I don’t see what the big fuss is! You guys are all about being the party for women, right?

I call BULLSHIT! (sorry mom)

            As a stay at home mom I “don’t work” 20+ hours a day providing child care, laundry service, maid service, home and yard maintenance, early childhood education, tutoring in multiple subjects, youth counseling, accounting and bookkeeping services. I am a nutritionist, a physical activities coordinator, a chef, a taxi driver, a mentor and personal assistant to 5 very active and social people. I do this 7 days a week, 52 weeks a year. Holidays are not something I get off. They are when my responsibilities expand to include event planner, catering service, personal shopper and PR coordinator. I actually look forward to the next few months when my hours will be cut back to 18 hours a day. However I will be on call 24 hours a day for the rest of my life. There is no retirement or pension plan for me. Because I  DON’T WORK.

            And we do lots of not working in our communities, too. We volunteer babysitting to help another mother in a bind. We host countless hungry teenagers in our homes providing snacks and entertainment for kids who would otherwise be thugs on the street. We give thousands of  volunteer hours as room moms in our schools, Girl and Cub Scout leaders, we do bake sales, blood drives, community clean ups, help in adult literacy programs, and spend time in shelters and retirement centers. The list is endless! But what else are we going to do with all our free time? We don’t work, right?

            Being a stay at home mom was not some sort of fall back job for me. I am an intelligent woman with a good work ethic. I have never in my life held a job where I didn’t end up as a supervisor. Despite what you might think, I don’t have any problem with “working moms”.  We are all blessed with challenges and opportunities in our lives and we all make the best decisions that we know how. And I’m actually kind of a feminist. I believe that you should be treated fairly in the work place and paid fairly in the work place no matter who you are or what your abilities. Notice I said FAIRLY not EQUALLY.  You should receive according to what you do. That has nothing to do with whether or not you were born with little boy parts or little girl parts or even if you decided to change them latter on.

            With that in mind, understand that I CHOOSE to stay home with my children. I felt that there was no better way to use my time, energy, and talents to bless and give to world. My husband and I made this choice together and we have made great sacrifices financially and personally to achieve this goal. It is no less valid or valuable a choice than the choice that other women make to do something completely different.

            What I find ironic and offensive is that the same liberals who scream from the rooftops that they protect a woman’s right to choose are so quick to degrade the choices that women make. And if we don’t do exactly what you want in exactly the way you want us to, you try to grind us in to dust. You talk about how those mean old conservative men are keeping us down, but you are the ones who are doing it!

            Think for a second. You are all about women in the work place, right? So what was it you said about Sarah Palin? Horrible things about her femininity, mothering abilities, intelligence, etc. How is she any different than any other working mom? Is that what you think about the rest of us? And what of her daughter,Bristol? She was young and made stupid choices. You guys pretend to be the champion to all the young, single mothers in the country crying for compassion for their plight, right? But not for Bristol. And she was just RELATED to someone you didn’t like.

            Anyone who fights against the pornography that objectifies and degrades women is obviously an evil oppressor of free speech. Rush Limbaugh calls someone slutty and you guys call for his head. Good! But there are people whom you associate yourselves with that use terms that are downright hateful towards us. Where is the outrage?

            Normally, I would call this all hypocrisy, but I don’t think that’s it. If every woman in the country could make the choice to “not work a day in her life” WE WOULDN’T NEED YOU!

And you know it.

You degrade us because you’re afraid of what will happen when WE know it too.

51 Responses

  1. She’s a keeper, Larry. :-)

  2. Being a mom is infinitely harder. You can fire the babies in the workplace. – Overheard from Dennis Miller

  3. Nice. Ummm, so why does it seem lately a lot of pundits seem to denegrating women? How is this in any way beneficial? I’ll admit I am a card carrying Demoncrat, but I may be one of the few left able to be rational. I was outraged by Ms. Rosen’s comments and can’t for the life of me understand why anyone would belittle the role of a stay at home mom. As a one time stay at home dad I have a pretty good idea the amount of work needed to run a household. If you don’t think that can equate to the workplace you’re an idiot. Enough with these pointless, moronic attacks. I am so sad to see the decline of our political process; no longer is it about the process of policy but rather marginalizing of groups and individuals. Unfortunately, we seem to elect idiots, whose only concern is how to blame it on the “other” guy and not about actually doing something. Enough.

  4. AMEN Sister!!! :D Well said!

  5. Your family is obviously rich, what with your well paying accounting job and your lucrative writing career, so your wife’s opinion doesn’t matter.

  6. Well said! Bloody well said!

  7. You go, Mrs. C. From one non-working mom to another, I will attest to the truth of every word. Doggone but it was fun being a non-working mom while supporting a military husband, playing “barracks mom” to young soldiers, volunteering in my community (the many I lived in), then because it was so much fun not working after my kids were grown, adopting three special needs kids and fostering several others. Funny how I get slammed for being an uncompassionate conservative–I guess actually DOING something instead of whining about how the rich don’t pay enough taxes doesn’t count on the compassion scoreboard. That’s all right. I’m usually too tired from not-working to care.

  8. *slam*

    Beautifully said. When I was able to stay at home with my kids, I didn’t have time to read a book or do fun stuff. My job didn’t stop because I never left my “office”. I’ve never worked so hard as I did as a full-time mom.

  9. Mrs. Monster Hunter. *applause*

    The only thing I’d change is to call out that useless bag of flesh, Maher, by name. Don’t dance around it. His statement was every bit as reprehensible as Rush’s. Strand them both on a desert island. Provide a Glock and one (only one) round.

  10. I know that correlation does not equal causation, but i wonder if there is any correlation between how much work someone thinks being a mother is and the quality of their progeny…..

  11. I’ve never had kids myself (just cats) but I do know a little about what stay at home moms go through every day. I get to call in sick and stay home in peace. Y’all can’t do that. You have my respect for your choices, and I think your post was very well done!
    PS: I hope you and your kids feel better soon.

  12. This needs to be linked to Instapundit.

  13. I’m also a card-carrying Democrat, and I have nothing but respect for women who choose to make the raising of their children their lives’ work. In the end, mothers are essential not only to the lives of their own children, but to the fabric of society as a whole.

  14. Bravo! My mom was a “working mom” as well as being a single mom and it’s not easy at the best of times. I would also like to mention that President Obama as well as Michelle Obama have both spoken out against Rosen’s remarks. Sure it was partially damage control on his part, but I think that his comment about the families of candidates being “civilians” is somethign that both sides ought to adhere to more.

  15. Need to be careful listing all the work you do, or the Feds will want to start taxing your husband for the imputed value of your sevices.
    Really.
    Remember, in the Clintoon Adminstration, how they wanted to do that with housing?
    You can bet that, somewhere in the bowels of the Federal Government there is a gnome calculating the value the of a wife’s services and saying “And if we add the value of the housewife’s services as part to the household income…”

  16. Well said, Mrs. C. It annoys me no end to hear hacks on either side of the divide talk about freedom when what they really mean is “free to agree with me.”

    Whenever someone would ask me if my wife worked I’d answer, “She works harder than I do, but she doesn’t get paid for it.” She gave up a lot to do what we both thought was important, but the way our kids turned out make it obvious that it was worth it. Now that she’s gone, I’m working twice as hard to not screw it up. Fortunately for all of us, she taught the kids to be strong. And forgiving.

  17. *applauds* Well said, Mrs. C.

    As a stay-at-home mom myself I can say this with no reservation whatsoever: running a household gives a woman (or stay-at-home father) more executive experience than Barack Obama had when he took office.

    Anyone who degrades the job of stay-at-home parent either has never done it or sucked at it when they did.

  18. Remind me to never get Ms. C mad at me.
    I know Larry would eat my lunch, but it will be really embarassing when SHE does it.
    Bravo! And let’s ALL stand up for those thankless women who have the fortitude to stay at home and make sure the kids are raised RIGHT!

  19. Moms are awesome. I’m proud to be the product of a stay-at-home (homeschooling) mom, and I wouldn’t imagine giving anything less to my own (future) children. It’s pretty much the ultimate job for a woman to have, and they should feel honored to have it, and their children are blessed by them.

  20. Excellent

  21. It is amazing how the supposed protectors of women’s right immediately turn on any woman who doesn’t toe the line. Any female politician who is conservative is always labled “Crazy” or “Stupid and Uninformed”. And this is usually coming from the women on the left, just as minorities on the left are the first to attack a minority that dares the be conservative (Herman Cain anyone?)
    Keep up the good (hard) work Mrs. C. I’m sure your kids will help make the world a better place because of your love and sacrifice.

  22. I’m not surprised by the comment that she made. When the liberals have nothing else to go on, they swing right into personal attacks on the lifestyle of the opponent. The comments made by Rosen really made her look bitter and discontented with her own life. Anyone with sense knows how hard SAHM’s work, and left with no other way to critique Mrs. Romney, Rosen was left with what she said. Frankly, I’m surprised how many news channels ran stories on the outrage stemming from the remarks. I figured the mainstream media would gloss right over that, considering the left normally gets a pass on these boneheaded comments that they make.

  23. To do list….
    1. Find Mrs. Correia’s bad side (Using this post as a baseline).
    2. Enter location into Google Maps.
    3. Make sure that anything I do steers clear of it.

  24. Larry: pass this message to your lovely wife:

    You rock !

  25. I think the MSM has seen the worm turn and they are now attempting to lead the charge. Besides, the next president is screwed no matter who it is, that’s why any Republican under 50 sat this one out.

    When it’s all said and done the media makes money off eyeballs, once it’s proven that the amount of liberal carp they are willing to watch is limited they have to pull back.

    • Actually, Woodman, most of the Republicans under 50 that I know are not “sitting this one out”, but rather are working hard on behalf of Ron Paul so that we can get REAL change!

      • Sorry, I meant potential candidates.

        I would like to see a Ron Paul clone that was about 20 years younger, with a little less kooky baggage, that isn’t Rand Paul.

        Kind of tired of presidential candidates actually seeming older the older I get instead of younger.

  26. Considers some smart mouth comment..

    Keeps mouth shut. Mrs Corriea might call my mom.

    Forgot in her job description
    Jailer / Disciplinarian
    Finder of Lost objects

  27. I do have one semi valid point to make

    Sarah Palin should NOT be representative of the republican stay at home mom. Because her journalism degree not with standing she still SOUNDS like an idiot when she has to do extemporanious speaking. The TV show she did reinforces this perception. Its not only what she has said its HOW she says it. Her folksy manner of speaking and frankly sounding like she is from Fargo ND make her sound DUMB. (The Baltimore HON style of dress and mannerism dont help)

    • I’m not a huge Sarah Palin fan. I just use her as an example of the viciousness of the attacks. Maxine Waters and Nancy Pelosi say all kinds of crazy stuff and aren’t the sharpest dressed people in the world. No one says anything about them. And what makes you comment on the way she looks? Does it really matter? Just saying….

      • It doesn’t really matter, unless the commenter is “right wing” in which case they get laid into.

        Be Germaine Greer and comment on the (female) Aussie PM’s appearance, no problems. Be the (male) leader of the (right wing) opposition party and say you agree with Greer when asked, get flamed.

      • OK, pure curiousity, but did you pick the “bdca” to evoke Boudicca, the Celtic Warrior Queen, or was that a happy accident ?

        Oh, and my wife thinks you rock as well. . . ;-)

      • Because the sociological experiential construct known as a Hon (See Baltimore hon for what I mean) She dresses and speaks in a way that presents an image and speaks in a way reminicent of the Dundalk accent (She sounds more like someone from Fargo but its the same quality) and that presentational context has a big warning sign with all kinds of fine print that basicly amounts to 2 steps shy of DEEEEERP.

        Its the same thing that says Wop/guinea/Goomba/Knuckle drager when I put on my charcoal grey suit white shirt and red tie with my watch spit shined shoes, my fedora, shave my facial hair all those little subtle clues when you put them together say goon for an Italian family

      • Joe,

        Please provide us a list of which regional accents you consider allowable for someone to have without being disqualified from politics.

        We know that Bahston is okay, and an Arkansas foghorn leghorn or Georgia magnolia blossom accent is okay, too, so what makes the Yah-Sure-Youbetcha of the north-central US such a disqualifier?

      • bdca = Bridget, Domestic Command Authority. That’s what I’ve always considered my job description to be. :)

    • She was not referring to Palin as a SAHM, she was referring to the left attacking her because she was a working Mother. It was pointed out that barbs were made about her mothering skills, etc. This was relevant because it points out the double standard in the thinking of the liberals about conservative women. Basically, if you work, you are neglecting your family…but if you are a SAHM, you are lazy and don’t “really” work. You, Joe, are stating your opinion that is pretty much it, and that is fine, but, I don’t get how this is even “semi” valid in regard to the point that Mrs. C is making. You don’t like what Palin says. OK, so you don’t like what she says. You REALLY don’t like how she says it…since you seem to emphasize Palin’s accent and inflection as being grating to you. So, in your opinion, she sounds dumb…so what? In my opinion a lot of people sound dumb. So, tell me, what accent is acceptable to you as “smart”?

      • I could care less about her working mother status. Or her stay at home mom status. Doesnt matter to me. She gets picked on more for not being the sharpest tool in the shed. Or at least presenting herself as such.

      • Way to defend your talking point. Clearly you are qualified to determine that someone is “dumb”. What was I thinking????

    • I hate the way we attack on non-substantive issues, such as appearance or regional accents. I guess it stems from the fact that people are by nature tribal, but it really isn’t helpful. To refer to The Right Stuff ‘we’re talking pussy when we should be talking monkey.’

      I suspect that the upper plains accent is initially mentally classed with valley girl because of the sing-song cadence and the chipper quality. Would many take a woman speaking valley-girl very seriously, no matter how intelligent? I come from Philadelphia, with a largely mainline background. While I would wish it were otherwise, there are certain regional accents, such as the working class South Philadelphia accent, that I have to work hard not to dismiss out of hand.

      I have often been disturbed that women are judged by our appearances — and not just the aspects which we have in our own control. (Although my husband is wont to point out that no one in the TV age would have taken Sen. Phil Graham seriously as a Presidential candidate.)

      These prejudices are so ingrained in our culture that it can require positive effort not to succumb to them. But these are a fact of life, so while we can argue that it should not be, at least for the moment we have to find a way live with it as we try to change it.

  28. So sayeth the wise Viking Warrior Woman. Much respect.

  29. Wow… and Larry’s the one who’s been writing all this time! Step aside Larry, we need more from Mrs. Correia!

  30. Well said you are my idol, I’m trying to be like you.

  31. Mrs C, I think you need to add “writer” to your list of job skills. And, metaphorically, “clean-up hitter”… you really knocked that one out of the park.

  32. Damn.

    Nothin’ but net! 8)

  33. Back when kids were little and money was damn tight, then-wife thought hard about getting a outside job. Then she ran the numbers: after figuring for work attire, transport, daycare for when I couldn’t get them after school and such, there would be so little left it wasn’t worth it. And she’d not have been able to do a number of things she did with the kids and school.

    But then she wasn’t really ‘working’, so what did she know?

    This kind of crap has ticked me off for years

  34. Thank you ever so very much Mrs. Correia.

  35. The world could use more strong women such as this.

  36. Amen Mrs. Correia!

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