Well holy freaking crap, I’ve got 2,000,000 hits

2,000,119 views all-time

That’s a milestone. I sure got the second million a whole lot faster than I did the first.

And because it is the most awesome thing ever written, I would like to quote myself from the last time I rolled this thing over:

How does this make me feel?  Well, if I could paint you a picture, it would look something like this:

How about Conan punching a tyranosaurs in the face while Linnea Quigley (like she looked in the 80s) fights a hot zombie chick with a chainsaw, and Linnea is in a tank top that is all ripped and about to fall off, and they’re on top of a speeding monster truck painted in tiger stripes playing a sound track by Dokken, and the monster truck is jumping over a tank that is exploding and there are ninjas flying everywhere on bullet bikes while pterodactyls shooting laser beams out of their eyes cause a big explosion with a massive fireball and then there’s like tigers with wings shooting out of the ground and theres like this skeleton, but the skeleton is wearing a chainmail bikini so you know that it was like totally a hot chick once too, but then like there’s this dude who looks like a samurai, but he’s fighting a cowboy, and blocking the cowboy’s bullets with his katana, because it is a LASER KATANA!  But then the samurai is totally Chow Yun Fat and the cowboy is Chuck Norris, and Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks the bullets in mid air to make them go faster, and there should be lightning bolts coming out of the sky, and then have like a big laughing skull behind it all, and the skull should totally be Hitler! because then you know he’s the badguy, and he should have that little mustache, and Conan and Chuck Norris are all going to totally kick his ass. And make the pterodactyls red, and put like a hammer and sickle on them, so you know they’re totally evil communist dinosaur clones, and make the monster truck be shooting blue flames out the back from all the nitro and the big tires should have spikes, and like nazi zombies are totally trapped in the spikes! And then have more hot chicks on the side, only make one like a devil with a tail and a pitchfork, and then the other side the hot chick should be an angel, but make her look a little naughty, if you know what I mean. Then make it in 3D! So that everything jumps out at you, and add more explosions, so you’re all like WOOSH KaBLAAAM PoW! POW! POW!

Yeah, pretty much something like that.

28 Responses

  1. Proud to consist of 1/5 of those hits :P Way to go Larry.

  2. That was totally freakin’ hilarious! Way to go, Larry!

  3. Pure poetry, even when you don’t try.

  4. Sounds like a cool book cover to me.

  5. I would watch/buy that movie, buy that poster, buy/read that comic and book. So yeah, this fan says get on it. We demand insane thing you described!

  6. Are you trying to tell us that Baen hasn’t expressed interest in the book you described above? C’mon, considering what it would take to set up a scene like that one, I’d absolutely buy the book!

  7. You forgot the shoulder fired Rocket Propelled Chainsaw!

  8. Two Million hits, that is sooo AWESOME!! Hang on while we tack on a few more zero’s for you!!!

  9. Yeah, I’d hit that.

    Congrats!

  10. Reminds me of some of the Dr. McNinja / Axe Cop stuff:

    Axe Cop and McNinja jumping a monster truck:
    http://www.topatoco.com/merchant.mvc?Screen=PROD&Store_Code=TO&Product_Code=RB-LETSGO&Category_Code=RB

    Axe Cop on Wexter shooting badguys on the moon:
    http://www.topatoco.com/merchant.mvc?Screen=PROD&Store_Code=TO&Product_Code=AXE-ONTHEMOON-POSTER&Category_Code=AXE

    Axe Cop and Dinosaur Soldier doing a laser high-five:
    http://axecop.com/index.php/acask/read/ask_axe_cop_22/

    Congrats!

  11. If the MSM & the public libraries would stop pretending you don’t exist, it would be 10,000,000.

  12. Larry, there’s one thing I don’t get. Are the wings on the tigers like bat wings or more like angel wings?

    And since you can get a reference to both Linnea Quigley and Dokken in the same post, I’m not surprised you hit 2 million. My lack of surprise is also due in part to the fact that I may have been responsible for about 1/10 of those hits during the most recent Patchening contest.

  13. Good thing I took some anti-seizure medication before reading that other wise the picture you just painted with your words would have me lying on the floor flailing about uncontrollably from its sheer awesomeness.

  14. Dude! That was totally going to be my fan art cover for MHL!

    Seriously, gratz on the 2 millionth hit. Posts like this are the reason you got that many.

  15. Concatulations! That’s awesome.

  16. You should do what I do. Avoid mental health professionals, counselors or other would be do-gooders as much as possible, be civil, but never say anything of substance. If you take their stupid tests, of course you remember 122 questions back they asked the same question in a different way. Dim bulbs. Give them the results that get you the results you want.
    Just because their tests are “confidential” doesn’t mean you can’t analyze it in a few minutes. What do they think we are, normals?

    Your picture rocks. It’s quite PR-13, bordering on R. I don’t know if I’d want if more graphic or not, but there is something to be said for hot women barely dressed, instead of nothing. You get that. And the Angel – of course she does, but only after the proper rituals and promises are made. And *maybe* you will be lucky enough to be her choice – if you can win.

    Yeah, awesome. I must know an artist some where. Let me ask around.
    Ralph

  17. sounds like a mid 80s music video
    Or something from that animated masterpiece Heavy Metal.

  18. Don’t mince words Larry tell us how you really feel.

  19. And Larry gives away the opening scene of his collaboration series with John Ringo…

  20. Congrats, sir. I remember this from the first time and it’s just as awesome the second time around.

  21. I freaking love you larry, please have my children

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