Hate Mail from my Hate Mail Response

The cool thing about hate mail is that when you respond to one whiney little crybaby you inevitably get another one in the comments. Around here I’ve got this sort of perpetual hate mail machine. If only I could harness the power of liberal angst. I could probably power my house just off the friction from all the hand wringing.

After this post last week, http://larrycorreia.wordpress.com/2012/01/05/more-fun-with-hate-mail-time/#comment-23186 I got this bunch of nonsense from Bags. I responded in the thread with a short post, but then decided to share with you guys. Y’all seem to enjoy these posts, and who am I to disappoint the Monster Hunter Nation?

Well, Larry, I’m sure you would have pulled yourself up from the bootstraps if you were born in a slum in India, too. You know, India has a much smaller, much less powerful government that taxes much less than the american one.

And thus begins an exercise in Reductio Ad Absurdum. What that term means is that when you are clueless and have no intelligent way to respond to someone’s argument, you take their argument and then stretch it out into absolutely ridiculous territory to try and disprove it.

Reductio Ad Absurdum is pretty much the favorite argument of the left. You think the government is wasteful and spends too much money on social programs? Then obviously you want all the old grandmas to starve to death in miserable agony. You are in favor of the 2nd Amendment? Then obviously you want UZIs in vending machines at elementary schools and blood to run in the streets. Lefties love doing this, and they do it so much that it is the default setting for what passes for political commentary in our country now. For example, think of last week’s news coverage about Rick Santorum once he tied in Iowa… Because he’s a staunch Catholic in his personal life he obviously wants to declare Catholic Sharia law and will ban birth control (because everybody knows that is exactly how our system of government works!).

In the mind of the media, Republican Catholics = Spanish Inquisition II. Democrat Catholics = Totally Awesome (unless they get in the way of Michelle Obama’s political ambitions in Chicago, then they are just no good paddy crackers). Of course Rick Santorum, because he has personal beliefs, will declare Sharia Law in America! Meanwhile the actual people that want to declare Sharia Law in America don’t get talked about, because that would be culturally insensitive…

Now that we’ve got that cleared up, back to our hate mail…

It also happens to have de facto control of around 70% of its land-mass, while the rest is controlled by armed gangs.

Like most countries with really strict gun control. Go figure.

People starve in India, but you wouldn’t have been one of them, because I’m sure you’d have improved your situation. Somehow.

Sadly, I could not live in India, because despite my love of curry, I am simply terrified of the Monkey Man.

Probably, since you don’t believe in hand-outs,

This is an interesting one to me. Because I’m against the welfare state, the hate mailers always assume that I’m against helping altogether. Not at all. I actually give a relatively high percentage of my income to charity. (way higher than Joe Biden, that’s for sure). The thing is to those of us on the right, there is a huge difference between choosing to GIVE money for something, rather than having someone else TAKE it from us, to then give to people/causes that we personally have moral qualms with.

you wouldn’t go through any kind of publicly funded education system.

I’ll have you know that I’m a proud graduate of the California Public School System and Junior Gladiatorial Academy, thank you very much! I didn’t actually learn much outside of Ag and Shop, but man, I can take a punch with the best of them. (sadly, looking back, I learned a lot more by reading library books on the long bus ride than I ever did in class).

Wandering off topic again, I think public education is a vast joke. You want to be filled with rage? Watch Waiting for Superman. Same guy that did Inconvenient Truth, only since this one poked at a sacred liberal institution it didn’t get truckloads of awards.  

You’d have probably got a loan and gone private. Oh wait, you wouldn’t have been able to get a loan. But you’d have worked your ass off, got some relevant skills – oh wait, you’re living in a slum, and you don’t believe in hand-outs, so no public transport means you can’t get to jobs that are further than 10 miles bike-ride.

One of my associates read this post before I approved it. He looked at me and said, “Knowing you, you would’ve worked your way up to head slum lord or something.” I took that as a great compliment. My goal would have been to work really hard until I made enough rupees to put in a Monkey Man proof fence around my slum.

Sucks to be you.

Actually, my life is really awesome.

People like you don’t realize how privileged you are,

Not really. I totally recognize how blessed I am. I was born in America, the land of opportunity. That alone gives me a huge advantage over the rest of the world’s population. All those little whiney We Are the 99% morons are the ones that don’t realize how privileged they are, because to the rest of the Earth, they are the 1%. “Oh no, somebody needs to pay my student loans” vs. “Man, I really wish I didn’t have malaria and gigantic Gambian rats gnawing on my children”.

The thing is, the reason why we’re privileged is that we live in the greatest nation that has ever existed. Why? Because it was founded and built upon freedom and capitalism. I’d like to keep it that way so that my grandkids and great-grandkids can also be born into privilege. The other option would be to continue spending America into oblivion, because then we can all suck equally.

and how damn hard it is to pull yourself out if you’re not born out in the first place.

Hmm… No. That’s just more loser talk like last week’s defeatist loser. My position is that despite how you start out, you can go on to improve your lot in life. That’s my fundamental belief. Americans do it every single day. Your response is to bring up someone born in the worst slum on Earth as an example that you can’t. The thing is, I’m talking about America. Shockingly enough, I don’t have too many blog readers in places that don’t have things like computers, electricity, or literacy.

So, sticking with America, barring the extreme circumstances of your birth on the bell curve (i.e. you were born a radioactive mutant or have flippers), you can AND SHOULD improve your lot in life. I grew up rather poor* and had some early strikes against me, but I did something about it. That’s not so weird. Most of us that are doing okay right now have similar stories. I’ve got one neighbor on Yard Moose Mountain that is a doctor, but he grew up with seven siblings in what was literally a tin roof shack. That’s life in the greatest nation in history.  

*on this note, I once had someone I argued with on this blog try to prove that I had not been poor growing up, but had in fact, grown up rich. (Which as all liberals know is the only way you can end up rich) So he went to Google Earth and stuck in Correia Dairy, Modesto California, which revealed a huge, very nice looking farm. Ah ha! Gotcha! And he posted that as “proof” on his blog… However I’m not from Modesto. I’m from El Nido, which is in Merced County. And the San Joaquin Valley is filled with Portuguese families and Correia is the last name commonality equivalent to Tanner in the English world, so it is relatively common there. Besides, if you go to Google Earth the farm I grew up on is now underneath a very large chicken plant now anyway. This moron’s research talents were wasted on me. He really should be writing books about Sarah Palin or something.  

 You’re very eloquent, but there’s a hell of a lot of sloppy thinking going on.

Disagreeing with liberal dogma = sloppy thinking. Gotcha. And I must have been born eloquent, because everybody knows you can’t learn a skill like that. Especially Indians*, because they’re too busy being terrorized by Monkey Man to learn to write good.

*in reality I’ve got a lot of respect for India. That’s a country that is not dinking around. They’re serious about getting their crap together and they are in it to win it. Same can be said for Brazil and many of the other up and comers. If we don’t stop our venture into socialism, then in a couple of generations when we’ve managed to completely destroy our productive class and America is sliding into irrelevancy, I’m sure our grandkids will be able to get jobs working at call centers to provide customer service to consumers in New Delhi.

If your going to complain about your tax bill, complain about military spending.

Obviously not a long time reader. I’ve worked for the Army and the Air Force. Believe me, you give me a team of Assault Auditors and control of the budget committee and I could do some slashing.

That’s where most of your tax dollar is going.

Actually, no. That’s not true. Medicare and Social Security are bigger than the defense budget. But of those three things, only one of them is mandated as a federal responsibility in the Constitution.

The hand-outs are pennies in comparison, and they’re mostly to stop old biddies from dying of hypothermia come winter.

See? What did I tell you? All those entitlements that are bankrupting us? Cut any of them and all the old people will die! Why do you hate old people and puppies, Mr. Correia? And sunshine and Monkey Man! Why are you such a hate monger?

Also, taxation’s more complex than a choice between high or low.

Really? I’ve only been a professional accountant for over a decade… I never realized that taxes were complicated! Herp de derp!

Many european companies tax middle-class guys less than america does, but still pay for poor old bastard’s healthcare because they tax the top ten percent more.

Do these guys actually pay any attention to the world around them, or do they just float through life in a bubble of wishful thinking? The world is what I think it is. La la la la. Europe is doing AWESOME! They’ve got so much money that all the Greeks can afford to retire at thirty and still have money left over to pay disability to all their pedophiles!*

*Germany could not be reached for comment. The country couldn’t pay its internet bill because they were too busy paying for everyone else’s good time.

This link: http://xkcd.com/980/ is pretty interesting in this regard. You can get a good idea of where the money is, where the tax money is coming from and who’s being hit hardest, and so on.

Hardest hit? I just wrote a 4th quarter withholding check big enough to buy a new Hyundai. That’s a groovy infographic. Xkcd is usually pretty clever. I have absolutely no idea what your point is though, other than you think that posting links with numbers on them makes you seem smart or something.

So that’s all for now. I’m sure I’ll be receiving more hate mail soon, probably from someone who thinks I unfairly criticized Monkey Man and his reign of terrible scratching.

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