Monster Hunter Nation

Give the gift of tetsubo this Christmas

What do you get for the hard to shop for man in your life? Out of ideas?

How about a samurai war club?

Because nothing says Christmas like a 14 pound stick that could brain a walrus.

For perspective on this club, keep in mind that I am six foot five. That is one big honking stick.

This is what my kids got me. It is completely impractical. It is ridiculously huge. I have no idea what I’m going to do with it.  It is totally awesome.  🙂 

Somebody on Facebook called it “bedazzled lumber”. Indeed. Iron Guard Toru tried to kill Jake Sullivan with one of these in TGC: Spellbound. (only his was made out of steel and weighed 80 pounds, but I don’t have super powers, so I’ll stick with wood).  I’m hard to shop for, so massive props to my children for thinking outside the box.

Cover of the Monster Hunters omnibus edition
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38 Comments on "Give the gift of tetsubo this Christmas"

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RabidAlien
Guest
4 years 11 months ago

Dang. Your kids got that for you? You, sir, are one lucky father! I got a couple of Tshirts (“Come to the dark side, we have cookies!” and “Firefly”), a couple of 5-packs of stripper clips for my Mosin (now need ammo to fill them, and a trip to the range), and various other bits and pieces. A tetsubo, though….man, that’s frikkin SWEET!!!

Robert
Guest
4 years 11 months ago

Buford Pusser had nothing on you, dude.

That Guy
Guest
4 years 11 months ago

That is awesome.

Logan giammella
Guest
Logan giammella
4 years 11 months ago

You should post that picture next to all your book stands with a one word caption “Buy” and a little green arrow pointing at them >.<

laclongquan
Guest
laclongquan
4 years 11 months ago

America!

Heck, even if we have craftmen doing this stuffs (not too hard if you pour money into), polices and local female organization will freak. The few swords and Daos they barter around was stored, not displayed.

Sean
Guest
4 years 11 months ago

Awesome! Looking at my Zombie Works Apokatana I just got and smiling in kinship.

Your kids did well sir.

Darrell
Guest
Darrell
4 years 11 months ago

Perhaps you could start giving these away with the purchase of your new book. If so, name your price!

LepusKhan
Guest
LepusKhan
4 years 11 months ago

You know the old adage about “speak softly and carry a big stick”? What that thing you don’t have to say a damn word…

LepusKhan
Guest
LepusKhan
4 years 11 months ago

With- not what (sigh)

Guest
4 years 11 months ago

“…so massive props to my children for thinking outside the box.”

When you said “massive props” I thought you meant the tetsubo, because that is one massive prop. But I figured out what you really meant. Your kids are great!

DaveP.
Guest
DaveP.
4 years 11 months ago

I saw your pic and the first thing I thought was, “Batter up!”

Hm. Does MHI have a softball team?

Bill
Guest
Bill
4 years 11 months ago

I do hope your new house is wired for video as any attempt at a home invasion(God forbid) would be a youtube sensation.

Lokidude
Guest
4 years 11 months ago

I think tetsubo may well be legal during “Any Weapon” seasons for yard moose.

Raptor
Guest
4 years 11 months ago

Larry, I think your kids just won the award for Most Badass Christmas Present Of All Time.

aczarnowski
Guest
4 years 11 months ago

That’s fantastic.

Does the new place have a mantle to hang that over?

Laserlight
Guest
Laserlight
4 years 11 months ago

You have no idea what you’re going to do with it? You’re going to Smite the Unholy with the Wrath of Larry, that’s what you’re going to do with it. (Optional: “Wrath of Correia” if you feel that’s more dignified).

Guest
RandyGC
4 years 11 months ago

I like “Wrath of Larry”. Has the same feel as “Wrath of Skippy”

45er
Guest
4 years 11 months ago

That is totally and truly awesome. You need to find some baby harp seals.

Monte
Guest
Monte
4 years 11 months ago

Crud, all I got was a gift card. No wife, no kids, no respect. Heck, I’m luckier than a lot of my friends. 😉
Wise, kids.

Drang
Guest
4 years 11 months ago

what?! You have no super powers?

Oh, wait, this is like OPSEC, right?

stewart downie
Guest
stewart downie
4 years 11 months ago

ye cats and little fishes…WHERE did they find that? It’s awsome!

Doug Northcote
Guest
4 years 11 months ago

Fantastic gift! I want to say the kids hit it out of the park but no one wants to be hit with that thing, including the ball.

I always hope for a weapon for christmas… no luck yet.

Shane
Guest
Shane
4 years 11 months ago

This reminds me of a friend in the Society for Creative Anachronism. After receiving a German Mace, he and a friend were sitting in their apartment hoping that a burglar would show up so they could test it on the burglar.

Brian Lewis
Guest
Brian Lewis
4 years 11 months ago

It looks more like you could brain a rhino with it.

But I don’t agree that you don’t have superpowers. You have the power to write awesome books dude.

Harry the Horrible
Guest
Harry the Horrible
4 years 11 months ago

Obviously, you have to go break something with it. Maybe find out what sort of dent you can put in a helmet (not that helmet would help – a 14lb club would break the victim’s neck, helmet or no!).

Bill
Guest
Bill
4 years 11 months ago

Officer: “What did you hit the suspect with?”
Larry: “A tetsubo.”
Officer: “A what?”
Larry: “A tetsubo”
Officer mutters and writes down golf club.
Larry reads over the officer’s shoulder and says “It wasn’t a golf club.”
“Would a golf club forcefully remove a man’s head and throw it across the room?”
Officer: “I guess not.” the officer replied exasperated. “Why couldn’t you have just used a gun?”
Larry: “New carpets.”

Bayside EMT
Guest
Bayside EMT
4 years 11 months ago

DAMN Larry!
I got a set of Pintail decoys and a new Kindle!! Want to trade? But Now you have something to keep that pesky Yard Moose problem under control!

Scott Deering
Guest
Scott Deering
4 years 11 months ago

Now that is some inspiration for upcoming holidays!
I am not a tetsubo fan, but now will drop a hint to have my family pick something similar out of the Zombie Tools catalog:

http://zombietools.net/

Those boys just ain’t right…:-)

Steve
Guest
Steve
4 years 11 months ago

This is the result of yelling:

“OWEN, FETCH THE STICK”

Jim
Guest
Jim
4 years 11 months ago

Where the heck does one buy a Tetsubo from?

Inquiring Minds Want to Know!

Pa State Cop
Guest
4 years 11 months ago

Me wants. Carry a PR24 in the car, I can only dream of rolling out on a fight call with one of those.

Fred2
Guest
Fred2
4 years 11 months ago

Heh.

Jut the ticket when younger boyfriends start to call.

I ain’t gonna shoot you son, if my daughter is home late tonight.

I may impale you with this and set you afire on front lawn as a warning to others though.

trackback

[…] laughed hard because knowing about Larry, you know there is that stuff and more around the house. I mean he got a tetsubo for Christmas from the wife….and was told immediately that it was an OUTSIDE toy; so the idea that he forgot a couple of […]

Matt
Guest
Matt
2 years 1 month ago

Brain a walrus? I thought you were on better terms with your relatives…

Shawna
Guest
Shawna
2 years 1 month ago

Props to your kids. I never know what to get my dad.

saintonge235
Guest
2 years 1 month ago

Larry, you have to get that used as your new book jacket photo. Even better, a life-size cardboard cutout for when new books are released. Caption at the bottom saying something like “Buy X, we want to keep Mr. Corriea smiling.”

RightWingProf
Guest
RightWingProf
2 years 28 days ago

You done raised your kids right. Awesome gift. Can we see a Youtube video of you decapitating a Clamps effigy with it? I can see the next fundraiser now – “See Larry Tetsubo-smash things”.

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