I’m taking your jobs and your women – HATE MAIL TIME!

This was forwarded to me today:

—–Original Message—–
From: Clarkerry [REDACTED TO PROTECT THE STUPID]
Sent: Sunday, September 04, 2011 1:38 AM
To: Info mailbox; “<info”@baen.com
Subject: racist publishing habits of your imprint.

Larry Correra. Blatant racist! I’m a serial follower for many years but not this racist jerk! anyone on any of these panels hes on corner him on why he hates white men —- But still finds their women hot??

*

Uhhh… Yeah… Wow… You got me there. I certainly do find white women hot, which is probably why I’ve been married to a Viking girl for thirteen years.

As a politically opinionated novelist and blogger, I get a lot of hate mail, of which I only share the best with you guys. This one in particular really brightened my day.

I suppose this is what I get for being a Wise Latino. (a term stolen from Sonya Sotomeyor, since that was around the same time that I was filling out some EEOC worksheets at my Military Industrial Complex job and discovered that Portuguese was legally considered Latino by the Department of Labor). 

I remember sneaking across the border (out of California and into Utah) and crossing the desert (I-15, though I stopped in Vegas for lunch) and how hard it was to find work. (I sat in front of Home Depot and waited for somebody to pull up in a pickup and shout “I need two guys that can do tile and a novelist!”)  I’ve been taking all of your good jobs and stealing your white women ever since.

Edward James Olmos is going to play me in the movie.

Clarkerry, you’re a friggin’ idiot. The most racist thing I’ve ever written has been about Elves. My last book was about a heroic white guy from Alabama. If I hated white men then A. I probably shouldn’t choose to live in rural Utah. and B. probably shouldn’t be one.

And please do be careful not to catch your hood on fire at the next cross burning, dumbass.

And on that note, for the rest of you that actually like me, don’t forget that you can now preorder autographed copies of my next two books here: http://www.unclehugo.com/prod/ah-correia-larry.php  One is coauthored with the extremely white Mike Kupari (if he were any more caucasian he would be translucent) and the other one stars some dude with an Irish last name and an Okie girl.

And seriously, do preorder, because these are the only copies that are autographed by both me and Mike, since he will still be in Afghanistan (probably oppressing someone) during release week, and the more we can sell on preorder, the greater chance we can get onto a bestseller list, and then the greater chance that they’ll make that movie about me. (Mike will be played by somebody really white, like Matthew Broderick).

EDIT: I forgot to add, I’m now stealing your white women on Twitter. @monsterhunter45

EDIT 2:  Turns out he has sent more than one to my publisher:

From: Clarkerry [SO TEMPTED NOT TO REDACT THIS]
Sent: Tuesday, September 06, 2011 9:32 PM
To: Info mailbox; “<info”@baen.com
Subject: larry correia -monster hunter international
I am shocked that you published  this deeply, disturbingly racist author.  

Despite his undeniable talent at telling a rousing tail, his gift is perverted by his hateful stereotyping.

I am a loyal Bean fan, but you should hang your head for giving this bigot a forum.

* Well, I am really sad that he didn’t give any specifics, nor did he talk about my stealing of all the white women again. Personally, I would think that if you were so offended by something an author had done that you would send multiple messages to their publisher, you would at least maybe cite whatever it was that they ‘d done that was supposedly so awful. Because 4,000 of you have read this blog post in the last two days, and none of you seemed to have any idea what I had done wrong either.

Mad props for the improvement in spelling and grammar on this one though.

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