So I get a call this morning from my neighbor Brent. “What’re you doing?” “Working on Monster Hunter Legion. Why?”  “Because I’ve got a porcupine on my deck and it won’t leave.”

Okay, that I had to see.

Don't laugh. The Crocodile Hunter got killed by a stingray, and you can pet those at the acquarium...

This guy just didn’t want to get off the porch. And man, he could chuck quills way far. When Brent poked him with a shovel handle, he embedded a quill into the wood. It was like holy crap in there too. Moral of this story, don’t cuddle a porcupine. 

I wasn’t sure if you were allowed to shoot porcupines, so we called and asked DNR. Yes. You can. Okay, good to know if he then went into a berserker quill flinging rampage of death.  So just in case I brought a suppressed .223, because won’t somebody think of the safety of the children! (and their hearing!)

But luckily, we squirted him with a hose for awhile and he finally got tired and scurried away to live under Brent’s basketball hoop. There was no quill flinging death rampage. They’re funny looking when they run with all their quills stuck up. I wish I would’ve got an action shot on my phone, but I had my left hand on the hose and my right on my .45. (Quill flinging death rampage possibilites, remember?)

I hear the new iPhone is going to have a single button for photos now instead of booting up a menu. I’m going to have to get one for future Yard Moose and Porchupine action shots.

Okay, now back to work! These novels don’t write themselves.


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