Joe Biden, the gift that keeps on giving

Joe Biden demonstrates the correct way to administer a prostate exam

Vice President Joe “Joe” Biden is a shining beacon on a hill. In fact, he’s the one thing about the Obama administration that is guaranteed to bring a smile to my face. Whenever I read the news, I can always count on good old Joe to have done something that will make me laugh… usually because he’s such a ****ing nitwit, but hey, when politics suck as much as they do now, I’ll take what I can get.

Keep in mind that this is the same vice president that has done or said something asinine pretty much weekly for the last two years. One of my highest blog traffic days ever was when I went through his speech about how Barack Obama was the bravest president EVAR. There are whole YouTube channels devoted to just stupid things Joe Biden has said. Whether it is about how you can’t go into a Dunkin Donuts without seeing an Indian, or about how remarkable it is that a black man can be articulate and clean, or having a guy in a wheelchair stand up to take a bow, or about how FDR gave speeches on TV, or Doctor Joe teaching us about germs, or how JOBS is a three letter word, or whatever your favorite Bidenism is, he is like the Duracell Bunny of stupid. He’s more reliable than Amtrack. Seriously, if you’ve ever listened to Joe the Biden, he makes George Bush sound like Winston Churchill.

Yet, Joe Biden isn’t mocked on the news… I wonder why? When was the last time CNN dwelled on one of Joe’s flubs? Dan Quayle spelled a word wrong and then didn’t like a particular TV show’s message, so he was ridiculed to death. Dick Cheney had a hunting accident and a bad heart. HILARIOUS! Let’s hear about that on Letterman for the next three years. Let’s not forget however, that those guys are republicans, and thus must be mocked constantly in the media.

Joe Biden does dumb shit daily and you can hear the crickets. Because Joe is a democrat, Joe is invincible. Joe is bulletproof.

Well, it doesn’t really matter if he’s bulletproof, since even Osama Bin Laden didn’t think he was worth assassinating:  http://blogs.telegraph.co.uk/news/tobyharnden/100087782/osama-bin-laden-to-al-qaeda-dont-bother-assassinating-joe-biden/ 

Man, that has to sting. An organization devoted to evil is all like “Joe Biden, meh… whatever.” But then again, Joe Biden has already pointed out that the real terrorists are the Tea Party.

Basically, Osama’s instructions to his minions said, if Joe Biden happens to walk in front of you in the crosswalk, don’t go out of your way to swerve to miss him, but don’t bother to accelerate either.

It is a good thing that Al Queda isn’t interested in Joe Biden, because the Secret Service probably isn’t that motivated to protect him from them either, since he’s been charging them rent:  http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/ticket/joe-biden-collecting-rent-secret-194812366.html  I know I’d be motivated to take a bullet for a guy that was charging me for the privilege of being willing to take a bullet for him.

And the sad thing about that story was that there was once one of those angry political e-mails going around about how the Clintons supposedly did the same thing to the Secret Service. It wasn’t true. It was a stupid rumor designed to get people charged up because the idea of a politician doing that was so very offensive. (And mentioning the Clintons, it is a sad state of affairs when our current administration is so awful that they make me remember fondly the honesty and integrity of Bill Clinton… wow.  Yeah, ponder on that for a second) Of course, only to Joe Biden can something that started as indignant spam sound like a swell idea!

By the way, if you want to get your friends and neighbors mad about politicians, you really don’t have to stoop to making crap up to e-mail people. Pay attention for a couple of days and there will be plenty of actual reality to fuel your boundless rage. In fact, go look at the “spending cuts” in the new debt ceiling bill. Hint, if you as an individual were in debt up to your eyeballs and spending money in a ratio similar to the US government, and your “spending cuts” were like unto what the Senate just came up with, you would be living in a cardboard box under an overpass inside of six months.

But I don’t let those ugly thoughts get me down. I’ve got Joe Biden to brighten my day.

 

15 Responses

  1. Dennis Miller once called him “Gaffe a second Joe”. I am thinking that’s not really much of a stretch. Stuff like this makes me wonder if the general public tastes the crap they are being shoveled by the media on a daily basis or just eat it happily. I guess what I’m asking is: how can you not notice things like this happening? Anal-encephalation (head in ass disease)? Maybe.

  2. Actually, it’s the Gunwalker stuff which makes me hoppin’, frothing-at-the-mouth mad.

    Oh, by the way, I took up for you in the comments over at Tam’s blog, against that “North” guy. I believe I described you as MAGNIFICENTLY immature.

    • Oh, come on. If you can’t commit a terrorist act of war against a sovereign domestic neighbor with whom you are at peace to advance a partisan domestic agenda, who CAN you commit a terrorist act of war against?

  3. Grade A world class snark, “…it is a sad state of affairs when our current administration is so awful that they make me remember fondly the honesty and integrity of Bill Clinton”

  4. He IS unbelievable… And he gets away with it!!! THAT is what amazes me… sigh Good rant by the way! :-)

  5. Republicans get made fun of because that’s they’re job.

    I don’t mean that you’re all clowns, I mean that the only reason the Left doesn’t crush you is because they can paint you as the Evil Enemy and (alternately) as the Incompetent Buffoons We Must Save Ourselves from. At one point, it was also true that conservatives held the military, but that appears to be slipping at an alarming rate.

    I don’t recall the exact quote, or the exact Communist Party of The Soviet Union member who said it, but it went something along the lines of “We’d have given our collective left testicle to have an opposition party like the Republicans.”

    You ARE unfairly painted in the media, but that’s also the only reason you’re still around.

    This is why smart conservative thinkers propose a strategy for success along the lines of “let’s not run in any elections for the next 20 years, and just let the Left drive the country into the ground.” This of course will never happen; the Left knows what an advantage for them the Republicans are.

  6. I like how, in the picture above, his face loooks gloriously pumpkin-colored, and his hands look…normal ;) You go, Joe o_O (“Stand up!”)

  7. It’s nice to know that Joe is courteous enough to provide a reach-around.

  8. “it is a sad state of affairs when our current administration is so awful that they make me remember fondly the honesty and integrity of Bill Clinton… wow. Yeah, ponder on that for a second”

    I’ve been going through that. It’s scary.

  9. Heck, twenty years ago, Jeff Cooper referred to him as the “lickspittle lapdog of the lunatic Left” in a G&A column, as swell a piece of foreshadowing as Florence King’s calling Dubya “Lyndon Baines Bush” during the runup to the ’00 elections…

  10. I remember the first time Joe was ran for president and was asked what he would do about Iraq. He said he would devide it up into three different countries. Korea was split into two countries and we know how well that turned out.

  11. If we were really terrorists, the current administration would want to have dialogs with us and send us money.

  12. Is it just me or does he look like a particularly successfull used care salesman?

  13. Joe Biden does dumb shit daily and you can hear the crickets. Because Joe is a democrat, Joe is invincible. Joe is bulletproof.

    Racist.

    tweaker

  14. To be fair I think you should also mention how entertaining Sarah Palin, Michelle Bachmann, and my favorite Glenn Beck are.

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