Hooray for HATE MAIL!

Awesome! It is hate mail time! It has been awhile since I got some hate mail, so I was beginning to worry that I have become inoffensive and meek. If I’m not offending somebody, then I’m failing. Luckily, a moon bat happened to read my thread about why right wingers are so filled with hate. http://larrycorreia.wordpress.com/2011/01/09/understanding-media-or-why-are-you-right-wingers-so-filled-with-hate/ As usual, the guest is in italics and my response is in bold.

#

It’s really telling that the author of this unhinged spittle flecked rant

Yep. Filled with boundless rage. That’s me. I’m kind of like the Incredible Hulk of fantasy novelists.

immediately cast the shooter as ‘left wing’ yet spends most of this angry rant supposedly upset when people on the left do the same thing, trying to assign blame to the right.

Uhm, I do believe the entire point was that your side STARTED IT. To be fair, I believe I spent most of the post discussing how he was a nut more than anything. But don’t let your lack of actually reading my blog post stop you from pontificating on it.

If you want to play the blame game, fine, let’s do it.

Yes, but your side does it so much better.

How many liberals talk about the gold standard? That’s straight up tea party, Ron Paul nuttiness.

Actually, the only people I’ve heard that really take up that issue are the Libertarians rather than the Republicans. I kind of fall between the two, because I’m registered as a Republican only because Libertarians can’t get elected to county dog catcher.

How many liberals talk about the ‘illegitimate tyrannical government? That’s pure Alex Jones paranoia.

Yes, I’ve not heard anyone on the left use those terms since… Well, 2008. Oh, and after the elections in 2004 and 2000.  

You see how easy it is? It doesn’t help the matter at all.

You are right. The most helpful thing to do is blame Sarah Palin.

No one said Palin is responsible for this shooting,

It was only insinuated by the New York Times, NBC, ABC, CBS, MSNBC, CNN, the Daily Kos, the Huffington Post, the Democratic Underground, a dozen senators and congressmen, and the sheriff that failed to prosecute the killer on earlier violations.

or at least no one worthy of paying attention to.

Looking at the above list, pretty much.

People are saying that Palin and many on the right have been using excessive language and rhetoric for a few years now, and while unrelated, it’s not something that should be done in a civil society.

As long as we are a free society, there is no such thing as excessive language or rhetoric. You should be able to argue for what you believe however you want. And when you lie about it, you should be called on it and made to look like a fool.

Let me try to address this in all seriousness. I find that most liberals have no concept of history. Our country was founded on impassioned debate, then we had a big war, then we had more impassioned debate. America is built on passion, on fighting for what you believe to be right, on struggle, on effort. The fact that the first amendment is the First Amendment displays this.

Our language continues the tradition. You want heated rhetoric? Read the debates between Lincoln and Douglas. We are such a CIVIL society that at one point we broke in half and held a war. Wait… what was that one called again?

You think it is bad today? Then you are a fool with no concept of history. Once upon a time, a republican president sent the US Army to roust a camp of 15,000 peaceful marchers. They were removed with tear gas, bayonets, and tanks. Several marchers were killed and hundreds were injured. That was in 1932 and it was not that abnormal an event in our history.

There have been duels between government employees. The Sergeant at Arms has used a club to break up congressional debates. Honestly, compared to our forefathers, our current leadership are a bunch of pansies.   

Why is it so important to use violent language in a political debate?

Almost all political language is based upon violent terms relating to warfare, because the two are related. We have “campaigns” in “battle ground” states. Politics are what societies have when we’re not having war. War is a continuation of politics, and always has and always will be.

A better question is, why do we have to destroy our right to free speech?

I think the Democratic Underground is populated by a bunch of morons, but they’ve got the right to say whatever they want. They can burn effigies of George Bush if they feel like it. Skinheads and Black Panthers can say whatever they want to, no matter how awful it is, because this is America.

Irony is just not a frame of mind right wingers are really capable of processing.

Oh, trust me. We do irony just fine.  

The immediate defensive tone taken by those on the right is very telling.

Because if I walked up to you in public and called you a child rapist, wouldn’t you get a little defensive? Maybe if I only said you were a supporter of pedophilia, but that some horrible crime only happened because you were such an awful wannabe child molester, then do you think you might get a touch defensive? Now, what if representatives of every major news station in the country showed your picture as soon as there was a report that a pedophile had been arrested? Defensive?

So, when the half the country that believes what I believe gets immediately blamed for something that we had nothing to do with… Duh.

Oh, and if we are silent, you just do it more and say that our silence shows we feel guilty. If we defend ourselves, it shows that we are defensive about something because we feel guilty. Ironic… See? I told you above that we understood irony. We have to live it every time we turn on the news.  

Maybe, just maybe, you can think twice before casting tens of millions of Americans as traitors

For the record, I don’t throw around the word traitor, (like the left did all the time with generals, vice presidents, and military contractors like me) because treason is a very specific law. Treason is not defined as “anything that disagrees with me”.

or saying stupid things like liberals want to implement socialism

Liberals don’t want to implement socialism. Liberals are just useful idiots used by socialists to implement socialism. Get it right. Nikita Khrushchev figured that out a long time ago.

to take away all your guns.

Nope. There hasn’t been six different pieces of federal gun legislation proposed this week. Not at all… No magazine bans. No new assault weapons ban. No ban on a gun within 1,000 feet of an elected official… Nope. Imagined the whole thing.

And for the record, if my side really was as dangerous, evil, scary, crazy, mean, and hate filled as your side seems to think we are, you would need a lot more than a thousand feet… The people on my side can hit squirrels at that.

That’s just crazy talk, plain and simple. No one is coming for your little guns, people.

That would be difficult… mostly because we have guns.

You are free to carry them to tell the world what a failure of a man you are thinking your gun equals the glorious lack of manhood between your legs.

You got me there. My penis, though it has been sufficiently keeping my wife happy for thirteen years of marriage, is completely inadequate for self defense purposes.

I do love that one. Lefties love to use Freudian BS as if I have a gun only to compensate for the size of my equipment. (which is really kind of funny since I’m 6’5”, can palm a basketball, and wear a size 15 shoe… draw your own conclusions) Nope, I carry a gun because I can’t throw a 230 grain lead projectile at 850 feet per second with my dick. Also, in a second amendment sense, I highly doubt that my penis would be able to overthrow a tyrannical government, either.

 

59 Responses

  1. So, Soldiers, Marines, Airmen and Sailors, not to mention cops, are all compensating for the lack between their legs…

    But these brave…what exactly is it he does? Ah, nevermind.

    I have no shame. When I get mail like that, I send them a photo, complete to ruler. There’s not much response they can make.

    As someone else put it, if a gun is a symbolic penis, what does that say about the people that want to remove them?

    And as I put it, if a gun is a symbolic penis, what is the BMW that psychologist drives?

    • In any discussion between Right and Left, the Leftist will almost always start in with the penis/gun comparison. Even when the whole gun thing was a side note, or not mentioned at all.

      I don’t know why these people are so completely obsessed with penises. Maybe it’s simply natural curiosity about something they’ve never had. shrug

  2. Larry, you are the Fisk-King. Let’s do a meal at SHOT, brother!

  3. When this broke on Saturday I jumped on Twitter to see what news was coming out. Not surprisingly I follow predominantly libertarian and conservative people. Withing the first hour I was seeing the Left blaming it on Sarah Palin/Tea Party/Bush. And I never saw ANYTHING of the kind from the right. 10% of my follows were spouting 99% of the bullshit. I finally quit listening for 3 days.

  4. Amazing! Larry I love your stuff (Mike ZW, yours also). Most of the SF books in our home now are Baen published as I tend to agree with the writers and they say a lot of things better than I could. Brilliant.

  5. Uh…if we put a condom on our Johnson is this a “suppressor” ? do we have to pay a $200.00 tax for having one on our manhood compensator? or is it considered a “Flash Hider” ?… does it have to be pined and spot welded?..( OUCH!!!) If you grab it is it then considered a “Pistol Grip” ? if it goes of several times in rapid succession is it considered ” Full Auto” ?… or just
    ” Spray and Pray ” ? or is that when you fire without the Trojan Suppressor ???

    This is just to hard for me.. I’m gonna find a 50 cal MA Duse hand cannon … then I’ll fell better and more manly and.. won’t have to pay that transfer tax…

  6. “Nope, I carry a gun because I can’t throw a 230 grain lead projectile at 850 feet per second with my dick.”

    It would be really cool if you could though. Sure hope you have a safety for that thing. :}

    • Reminds me of Larry Niven’s short write up, titled “Superman” on why a relationship between Lois Lane and Superman would be impossible.
      “….IV Lastly, he’d blow off the top of her head.
      Ejaculation of semen is entirely involuntary in the human male, and in all other forms of terrestrial life. It would be unreasonable to assume otherwise for a kryptonian. But with kryptonian muscles behind it, Kal-El’s semen would emerge
      with the muzzle velocity of a machine gun bullet…”
      Very droll.

  7. I always love it when libs say “Nobody is going to take your guns away.”

    Then I remind them about Dianne Feinswine

    “If I could have gotten 51 votes in the Senate of the United States for an outright ban, picking up every one of them . . . Mr. and Mrs. America, turn ‘em all in, I would have done it. I could not do that. The votes weren’t here.”

    February 5, 1995

  8. Well done Larry, WELL DONE!

  9. “Also, in a second amendment sense, I highly doubt that my penis would be able to overthrow a tyrannical government, either. “

    Well… maybe yours can’t.

    I’m 6’5″, wear a size 18 shoe, and was palming basketballs in 6th grade. ;)

    • Matt, I bow before your size 18s. :)

      • Meh. I wish I wore bitty old size 13, myself. As for being “proportionate,” I can just say that it’s not actually true, as a rule.

        It’s just a happy coincidence in my case. :D

  10. So that is why I enjoy shooting guns and buying them and want to own more. I am displeased with the size of my penis. Makes sense. Probably why I carry a pocket knife also. It is penis like in it’s shape after all.

    And here I thought that I wanted to be able to defend my family from those that would do them harm or if I ever had to hunt for food to feed my family or in the extreme case actually have to rise up against a tyrannical government and feed that Tree of Liberty.

  11. Larry, you are awesome. I especially love the last paragraph, it says it all.

  12. Hahahahahahahahahahaha

  13. “My penis, though it has been sufficiently keeping my wife happy for thirteen years of marriage, is completely inadequate for self defense purposes.”

    Have you tried?

    “I carry a gun because I can’t throw a 230 grain lead projectile at 850 feet per second with my dick.”

    And today, Larry wins teh internets.

  14. You are such a loser, Larry.

    Your penis can’t kill at 100 yards.

  15. You know how cliche the whole penis thing is?

    I have an icon for it to bring up in times like this.

    Damned image gets a lot of use.

  16. Anyone who thinks a gun looks even remotely like a phallus needs their vision correcting.

    • It does fire projectiles meant to impregnate. With lead/copper/steel/tungsten/various other metals instead of DNA, of course, but impregnate nonetheless.

  17. Really, they make it so easy some times. This troll was really not worthy of your superior fisking skills.

    Of course, I understand, not every trip to the range is a 600 yard (that is more than 333 Feet, right?) National Match course.

    It’s fun to play in the plinking pit too.

  18. Larry, if we weren’t both married (and both straight) I would ask you to marry me. This was absolutely amazing.

  19. So, what is teh Freudian word on those who carry mouseguns?

  20. Score to date:
    Hate Mailers, 0
    Mr. Gandolfini’s Stand In, 19 bazillion

  21. Yeah… made it to the last two paragraphs before busting out laughing.

  22. That “glorious lack” is part of my original design specs (being female), and has nothing to do with my choice to carry.

    Oh wait – because I don’t HAVE one I must WANT one, and that’s why I carry. Riiiiiight. So glad a complete stranger could clear that up for me.

    • Several years ago the medical journal JAMA had a magnificent letter in response to an earlier article about a psychiatric matter. “Dear Sir, Freud was wrong. What we women have is pocket envy. Sincerely . . .”

  23. “Also, in a second amendment sense, I highly doubt that my penis would be able to overthrow a tyrannical government, either.” OMG, that’s a class III beverage alert line. I could just see a new comic strip, published by Larry Correia and Penthouse, titled “Captain Trojan – the man with the SuperGun.” Whenever tyrants and fascists are on the march, there stands Captain Trojan, always ready to defend the innocent and satisfy the not-so-innocent. His motto is “This is my rifle, this is my gun. This one overthrows tyrants, that one’s for fun!”

  24. Okay ..I stand corrected on the statement I made on the facebook wall. I HADN’T read this one yet. Larry..I love you man…that was the awesome.

  25. There is some similarity between guns and penisis-

    In most states it’s illegal to open carry either one

  26. As soon as they went to the guns=penis comment they effectively said “I have nothing intelligent left to say(if I ever did to begin with) and am trying to personally insult you as a last ditch effort” its rather pathetic really. Great job Larry

  27. Larry, this just got you QOTD honors from my little corner of the internet.

    http://theunpaidbill.blogspot.com/2011/01/larry-correia-wins-qotd-honors.html

  28. “Because my penis can’t overthrow a corrupt government” would make a good shirt.

  29. “Nope. There hasn’t been six different pieces of federal gun legislation proposed this week. Not at all… No magazine bans. No new assault weapons ban. No ban on a gun within 1,000 feet of an elected official… Nope. Imagined the whole thing.”

    ( Larry, must be those imaginary hate filled visions of grandeur we keep having.)

    “And for the record, if my side really was as dangerous, evil, scary, crazy, mean, and hate filled as your side seems to think we are, you would need a lot more than a thousand feet… The people on my side can hit squirrels at that. ”

    ( I one shot a buck at 235 yards with a Mossberg 500 pump using a Federal Slug. Open sights, cause my scope bracket broke. He was tasty.)

    Good rant, Larry. Keep it coming. Truth is the only way we can fight these idiots on the field of ideas.

    =P

  30. I am a woman and I carry a gun. What could I possibly be over compensating for?

    “Psi Core is Mother, Psi Core is Father.”

  31. Size 17…

    I’m awesome

    That is all

  32. “Nope, I carry a gun because I can’t throw a 230 grain lead projectile at 850 feet per second with my dick. Also, in a second amendment sense, I highly doubt that my penis would be able to overthrow a tyrannical government, either. ”

    THAT! is the best answer I’ve ever head to that kind of comment!! When we get CCW here in WI later this year, this will be my standard answer for anyone that asks me why I carry!

  33. Ya know, it’s not about “size” it’s all about how it’s used;
    IF you got a cannon but can’t hit the broadside of a barn, it’s of no use, but if you have a small 380 and hit right on target———-OHHHHH BABY !!!!

  34. If we’re carrying guns to compensate for the size of our Johnsons, then how does one explain the popularity of snub-nosed revolvers?

    I’ve never heard of a phallic symbol with a two-inch barrel…
    ;)

  35. The crack about your junk is rather telling, isn’t it Larry? I think most people who mock, loathe, or hate privately-owned firearms, simply don’t have any experience with them. If they did, they’d know better. But they don’t. thus they must resort to middle school ad hominem logic when faced with an unapologetic firearms owner.

    Now that a week has passed since the tragedy in Arizona, I think even the media douchebags are realizing how much they jumped the shark by spinning at 1000 RPM to blame the shooting on Palin, gun owners, right-wingers, et al. As if the bias was already too apparent? Could they have possibly shown their ass any more glaringly?

  36. Larry, I must object. It is simply not the case that our wedding tackle cannot be used defensively in the immediate and justifiable defense of life, limb and property.

    It is simply the case that in the modern legal environment, the police, judge and jury will not be sympathetic to our story of how this mugger got dicked to death. An unnecessary and excessive escalation of force, they say.

    Thus, we must resort to somewhat lesser means.

  37. Your post reminded me very much of the classic Marine Corps. conditioning requiring trainees to refer to their weapon as a rifle:

    http://www.temple.edu/english/isllc/newfolk/military/rifle.html

    Popularly depicted in Full Metal Jacket:

    http://www.bing.com/videos/watch/?q=this+rifle+this+gun&vid=09A4496C1FC2D6BC6B9809A4496C1FC2D6BC6B98&FORM=VIRE2

  38. I do sort of wonder if the left would be offended if we said things like “Every time you propose anti-gun legislation, you’re just compensating for having unnaturally huge vaginas.”

    This might be worth a try.

  39. I’ve always thought people who verbally attacked and mocked a person, group, and/or sacred right while simultaneously hiding behind the facade of non-aggression and civility were just cowardly bullies who were too stupid to figure out that the day my rights are taken from me, is the day I’ll take them back.

    I need to buy a gun so I can say SCREW YOU if some idiot government official tells me I can’t own one.

  40. You are just way too funny. I know the liberal mindset all too well having a few very vocal ones in my family (we all have our dark secrets).

    In my experience libs use accusations like stones to pelt you with. As you deflect one with the truth they pick up another and another and so on never truly reflecting on your reply. Way too much hate on the left to ever want to know the real truth. After all to the libs truth is whatever you want it to be.

    Thanks Man.

  41. or saying stupid things like liberals want to implement socialism

    My question is does he really understand what socialism is? or does he beileve it’s a solcia network like facebook?

  42. Never heard your name before, I’m sorry to say.

    Followed a couple of links to here by way of starting out with Taranto’s column.

    Thanks for making me laugh out. I’m bookmarking this site.

    And, I’m headed out to Amazon to see what you’ve got out there.

    Don’t know yet whether I’m a fan of your storytelling, but I certainly admired this effort.

  43. from one giant bald man to another; keep up the good work.

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