Diary of an Unhinged Imbecile by nickwolf, with special commentary by Larry Correia

As a conservative blogger, I get a lot of hate mail. I know that may totally shock you, since everybody knows liberals are filled with love (and if you cut one, only rainbows fly out; do not try this at home).   Normally when I get something really vapid and asinine, I just delete it rather than let it clutter up my blog. As you’ve all seen, when I get a blog comment that I disagree with, but it is at least intelligent (or spelled correctly) I’ll leave it. I actually enjoy disagreeing with smart people.

I got this one the other day from somebody named nickwolf (no space, because he was too angry to hit the space bar). My first clue that it was crap was because it was posted to http://larrycorreia.wordpress.com/2009/08/05/reasons-why-the-obama-joker-socialist-poster-are-appropriate/ which is a year old. Second, it is almost a thousand words long.  Everything I write is long, but I get paid to write stuff, so I type about as fast as I think. But nothing says crazy like a thousand word unintelligible screed posted to a year old blog post… Well, making a woman suit from human skin does scream crazy a bit more, but I do tend to use a lot of hyperbole.

I was going to delete this, but it was just too awesome to not share. The original *missive* is in italics. As usual, my comments will be in bold.  Now, please gentle readers of the Monster Hunter Nation, let us enjoy together:

DIARY OF AN UNHINGED IMBECILE by NICKWOLF

Morons who can’t think, can’t debate, can’t add! He said to the professional accountant. Want to bring back the same people who’s ?? entire failed philosophy has been proven false and will continue to debase and ruin our society and economy. They keep trotting out the same provenly (Provenly, a flavor of cheese from Belgium) useless and dangerous cures for the same problems that almost killed us. Keep in mind that at this point, I still don’t know what his point is. This is the definition of insanity No, that would be this message that you posted and why Americans are not free. They fold to the big corporations everytime…..unable to add or think for themselves….they deserve what stupid gets…..poverty! 

I’m a little confused. But it continues.

Backing the same filth that caused this mess and try to stop the repairs at every turn. This was my first hint as to his point. I should have known that the dastardly George Bush would somehow be involved. They want the economy to be bad so they block its recovery at every turn….and you want to vote them back in?? Whew! Okay, two paragraphs in and I finally know what he’s talking about! We saw what their philosophy brings…destruction of the middle class. 1.3 Trillion oh don’t worry, I’ll address this softball pitch added to the deficit with tax cuts to the rich. And you want to continue that policy?? The tax cuts? Since I’m now “rich”, hell yeah I do!  and hope magically that the deficit won’t go up again? AIN’T GONNA HAPPEN…LEARN TO ADD! Correia looks at the accounting degree on the wall of his finance office and, puzzled, scratches his head.

Do you want a common sense doctor to operate on your brain ….. How many ellipses do you need? Three is standard, but five shows you mean business! or a 15 yr college degree surgeon with 12 yrs experience. Like the ones that all didn’t want the healthcare bill to pass? Do you hire a cheerleader (Palin) to run a 21st Century Superpower…. or an Intellectual like our founding fathers….like President Barak Obama??  No. Really? Man, this is comedy gold.


The founding fathers were all educated men….these moronic righties are proof that democracy does not work.
Yep. The founding fathers were educated men. That’s why they didn’t create a democracy. They created a constitutional republic. Idiot.  Wait……… Idiot. (I see your 4 periods and raise you 7! That’s better)


Let them secede, give them their own state…
Oh, God, please, yes. they will soon live in caves and eat their own kind. Naw. Too fatty from all that red meat. Tired of paying the Souths taxes (hey, Nick, that would be south’s, as in possessive) ( they pay a net negative federal tax, progressive States pay them) That old myth is false, and the only way you get it is 1. Counting the federal defense budget money because there are more military bases in red states. 2. Federal lands gobbling up the west. 3. In the south, mandated federal liberal social programs dating back to LBJ that have tried to wreck places like Birmingham and Atlanta.  

Tired of hearing their old tired rants about freedom…. while they suck the behind of every corporation in America that cheats them daily. Wait. Who bought GM? What administration is employing more former corporate lobbyists than any other in history?


America is not a Stalinist country…it is not Communist …
Never said it was. That’s what we would like to prevent no matter how often and for how many yrs ( at least 60 yrs) Republicrats have been yelling it!! IT NEVER HAPPENED. The Great Society, the National Recovery Act, Social Security, Medicare, prescription drug benefits… The federal government redistributing wealth for social engineering purposes? Imagined the whole thing.


IT, LIKE ALL THEIR OTHER CLAIMS ARE PROVABLE LIES…..THATS WHY THEY DON’T DEBATE !
You must not know me very well.


Obama has already done more for them than any Republican President in history….thats a provable fact!
I’ll actually agree there. He’s done more to promote Marxist philosophy than any other president in history.


But they are too stupid and racist to know it or admit to it!
Yep. Got me. I’m racist against socialists. (just remember my one rule and you’ll be fine)


And don’t pretend that the John Birch Society, the KKK or White Supremacist groups in your Tea Party aren’t pathetic cowardly, Racists! Because they are! 
The exclamation point does not normally go in the middle of a sentence. And I’ve been to a couple of tea parties, where ironically I’ve seen blacks, Asians, and Hispanics, but I’ve never seen anybody in a white hood. Why stop there? The Tea Party also harbors Ming the Merciless, Satanists, head-hunters, and Cthulu. I saw that on Keith Olberman.

IT’S EASY TO HATE….HARD TO BUILD SOMETHING WORTHWHILE. AMERICA HAS BEEN BUILDING A LIGHT FOR THE WORLD…..THESE TERMITES ARE ROTTING THE BEAMS AND TEARING DOWN THE BASIC AMERICAN SPIRIT OF BROTHERHOOD. Jeez! Quit shouting at me.

WE WILL FIGHT THEM TO THE DEATH….LIKE ALWAYS! Yep. He’s upset because nobody wants to debate him, right before he threatens to kill them. Which is ironic, since I’m on the side with the guns.  :D

WHAT UTTER NONSENSE. I DEAL WITH INDIA EVERY DAY…..THEY LOVE OBAMA! WHAT A STEAMING LOAD! I have no idea what this means. It’s funny if you read it out loud though, and shout every third word like you’ve got Tourette’s Syndrome. Seriously. I’ll wait while you try it.

Hilarious, huh?

LETS KEEP GIVING TAX BREAKS FOR OUTSOURCING OUR I.T. JOBS….IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT TO CONTINUE? NO LEVEL PLAYING FIELD, SO THAT SLAVE NATIONS CAN EAT US ALIVE IN OUR OWN MARKET?? Wow. I don’t even know how I got assigned to defend outsourcing to India.

WHAT A PATHETIC NO NOTHING! That would be Know, with a K.

 
PONYBOY TO THE RICH.
Us Outsiders got to stick together. Dallas, Sodapop and me ain’t got no choice. Greasers forever!

You pretend to know about Socialism. You don’t. Man, reading that giant stack of history books was such a waste! We and the other Industrialized nations have used social safety nets to make a richer society. That doesn’t make us Socialists…but realists! That’s kind of like saying that you have sex with other men, but you’re not gay.

And to my gay readers, it was just an analogy! I love you guys too. Just not in that way.

The early British were examples of Colonial Fascists….they had a crap society. That produced the educated intellectuals he cited earlier. Nations who spend on education and social well being are not Socialists…just like Christian Social Justice is the bulwark of the bible. I thought it was to testify of Christ? These expenditures if properly implemented ….result in less crime, less people in jail, less poverty, more productivity and higher health standards for their countries. Interesting. A list of ideals without admitting the many flaws. There is a glimmer of cleverness. Perhaps I’ll actually be able to debate–You seem to be backing King George or Mussolini??  Oh, never mind.

STOP ALL THE IGNORANT FEAR MONGERING…FOR 50 YRS YOU AND YOUR TERMITE FRIENDS HAVE BEEN MAKING AMERICAN BROTHERHOOD COLLAPSE IN HATE….. WERE A CAPITALIST COUNTRY. Nickwolf has no time for contractions! OBAMA IS NOT CHANGING THAT. No. Of course not. The government should totally own over half the economy in a capitalist society. That whole thing where the government took over the insurance, banking, finance, auto, and medical industry in the last couple years… Not socialist at all.

WE MUST GET A HANDLE ON WHAT’S BRING US DOWN…..STOP GETTING IN THE WAY…..YOU HAVE NO IDEAS, YOU ARE PATHETICALLY USELESS…….DEBATE ME IF YOU WANT TO GET YOUR HAT HANDED TO YOU! If you could focus long enough to string two coherent thoughts together in a row, that might be possible.

And I’m not handing you your hat. I’m handing you your head.

YOUR ANSWER IS SIMPLE …. IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT SOME PAST PHILOSOPHER THINKS. TODAYS PROBLEMS ARE TODAY! WE NEED SOLUTIONS NOT IDEALOG’S WITH PROVEN WORTHLESS, DANGEROUS NON IDEAS. Wow. You know, the single best thing I did to help conservatism in America today? I posted this in public. Thank you.

Kensian Economics is a fact, even Reagan knew this, apparently you don’t!! You mean Keynesian? Yes. I took a class on it in college. Booooooring. Not a fan. 

JESUS DOESN’T AGREE WITH WHAT YOU SAY…. You know it is bad when you’ve got somebody citing Jesus, Marx, and Obama in one tirade. DOES THAT MAKE YOU THE DEVIL. ?? Actually, that would be M. Night Shyamalan.

SO WHENS THE DEBATE? … KARL MARX MY ___S  He actually inserted the underscore. I’m not sure what the word was. Karl Marx my Shorts? Karl Marx my Homies?  

“Social progress can be measured by the social position of the female sex.”  Usually when you quote somebody, you might want to say where it came from. A quick check with Google reveals that this quote comes from Grimace. (and the internet is never wrong)

Commie Purpelo

 He was a well known Trotskyite.

Does this mean every American Woman is a Marxist ?
and womans voting rights were marxist??? 
The logical progression of that actually hurt my brain.


……Your acting the fool!! 
Know! You’re….. (I’m trying to talk his language)

My Dad took socialism at Ohio State in 1938 … it’s a political subject….does that make him a Marxist? No. But it makes him very old.

AMERICANS! STAND UP TO THESE PATHETIC LITTLE FEAR MONGER!  I’ve never been accused of being little before. I have to shop at the XL Casual Male Outlet.  I do love me some Mongering though.

Let’s see Republicans losing 750,000 jobs a month times 4
That would mean President Obama should be losing 3 million jobs per month? ACCORDING TO YOUR STATEMENT. 
I was confused, but couldn’t find where I made that statement, so now he’s apparently arguing with Larry Correias from other dimensions.

Instead Jobs went to a plus 200,000. Thats about 600 % better!  Holy crap! Am I talking to Joe Biden? Did Joe Biden get liquored up and angry-drunk post on my blog?

WHY CAN’T REPUBLICRATS DO MATH???? Why can’t socialists use proper grammar???? Kind of a rhetorical question, don’t you think?

IT WOULD BE HIGHER IF YOUR ILK DIDN’T OPPOSE EVERY ATTEMPT AT RECOVERY….. FOR POLITICAL GAIN!! I can almost see nickwolf as he types this with two fingers, spittle flying from his lips, face all red, as he pounds away.

REPUBLICANS OPENED UP THE CHINESE CAN OF WORMS WITH NIXON AND THE WALMART FAMILY. Jesus, Marx, and Walmart. We’ve reached a whole new level of crazy.

BUSH BORROWED THE ENTIRE WAR FROM CHINA AND JAPAN ETC. Yep. Bush sucked. Moving along. DEFICITS ARE DEFICITS AND THEY ARE NEVER BIGGER THAN UNDER A REPUBLICAN ADMINISTRATION! Yep. Let’s see–

I believe the term is pwned.

 BAM!

THEY DON’T TAX AND SPEND ….THEY BORROW NEXT YEARS TAXES AND SPEND THEM THIS YEAR!
FOR YOUR CHILDREN TO PAY BACK….PLUS INTEREST!
I’m against excessive government spending, whether it is republican or democrat, but I’m especially against spending for stupid crap.

THATS THE FACTS If you can’t read and you only watch the regular news

THE SURPLUS CAME UNDER THE DEMOCRATS! Yep. The legendary “peace dividend”. Once again, you can’t really argue with somebody who has no concept of historical continuity.

REPUBLICRATS WASTED ALL OF IT AND MORE! Building up a military for the cold war = Waste. Giving money to ACORN for Guatemalan sex slaves = Good.

BUSH WANTED YOUR SOCIAL SECURITY INVESTED IN THE STOCK MARKET!! Because it is so much better off the way it is. THINK OF WHAT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED TO GRANDMA AND GRANDPA IF HE HAD GOTTEN HIS WAY….. A failed socialist policy of FDR might have been solvent for a couple more years?

THATS REPUBLICAN IDEAS FOR YOU!!  

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is a look into the eyes of crazy. Kids, this is why you don’t huff paint.

97 Responses

  1. Wow, that hurt to read! how did you manage to get through it in the first place? Without your fisking annotations my head would have exploded in a big gooey libtard infected mass.

  2. He didn’t mention our puppy raping orgies for Satan.

    • DAMMIT. I knew I forgot a meeting this week…

    • You guys have orgies? New Zealand politics sucks!

      I’m writing to my Member of Parliament about this!

      ‘Dear Mr Carter,

      It has come to my attention that the American Conservatives are holding orgies. Why aren’t we doing the same thing?! I believe that not only will this improve the economy but it will also endeavour to bring all of New Zealand closer. Much, much closer.

      If you could please take my concerns to the next meeting of Parliament I would be much obliged.

      Yours sincerely

      Panticles.’

    • puppy rape? I thought it was supposed to be puppy homicide and raping virgins?

  3. Wow, you know I hear stuff like this every day,at work and at school. But I have never seen it consolidated into a shrieking mass of crazy like this.

    but I thank you for making it entertaining, well done sir.

  4. The truly scary thing about this for me is that, given his father’s age, this was written by someone in their fifties or sixties. That’s a whole lot of years not to be paying attention.

  5. I think I just found someone even Tom Stranger wouldn’t insure.

  6. To be fair nut jobs come in all political persuasions. Take the Westboro Baptist Church. You know the guys who stake out military funerals yelling things like how God wanted your son/daughter dead. Though the recent counter protest aimed at them at the comic-con was a thing of beauty. My favorite was the guy carrying the sign saying “God hates Jedi!” while wearing a Star Trek costume.

    tinyurl.com/27kx2e5

    • The only sign I can remember was, “All hail the Hypno-Toad.”

      Glad to see the WBC starting to go the way of the dinosaur. Hope they all starve in the desert.

    • Yeah, the nuts run the gamut from five time Democratic candidate for office and founder of the WBC Fred Phelps all the way over to insane hippie nickwolf.

    • “To be fair nut jobs come in all political persuasions”

      …You DO know that the guy who runs Westboro… is a registered and donating Democrat, right?

      So it looks like we’re down to ONE persuasion.

  7. I feel obliged to make sure people watch this after reading:

  8. The “Clinton balanced the budget” meme is not true. Clinton NEVER had a budget surplus. Read my post here for proof:

    http://street-pharmacy.blogspot.com/2009/03/clinton-did-not-balance-budget.html

  9. To be fair nut jobs come in all political persuasions. Take the Westboro Baptist Church.

    Ah yes, Fred Phelps. The registered Democrat.

  10. Could nickwolf be the pseudonym for the Jimmy Duquesne of our dimension?

  11. As they say around here, “That boy ain’t right.”

  12. This guy makes about as much since as most lefties do when they try and argue.

    Most of the far left’s beliefs REQUIRE contradictions. Examples: All the rich are evil, except the rich guys leading our party; guns are bad, unless they are in the hands of our leaders guards; no nation has ever taxed and spent its way to prosperity, but we’re going to try it anyway; ect

    • Well to be fair all the rich ARE evil but you’re right liberal rich guys are just as bad as conservative rich guys, we just have a better PR department!

      The gun thing is a slightly more difficult question. I live in a country where there isn’t the plethora of firearm weapons in general circulation and we’ve got pretty strict gun laws. Having said that there is a bunch of legally owned firearms out there and I have to say to me that isn’t a good thing. The problem with having a gun is that somebody might use it. Now if there’s no gun then there’s no problem.

      Don’t get me wrong I like guns, although I’ve only shot them a couple of times, and I want to serve in the military, if I can ever get myself motivated and lose some weight that is, but a gun is nothing but a problem thats only solution is death.

      I’ve got to think about this question a bit more as I’m not quite happy with my answer. I feel like what I’ve written is a bit of a cop out.

      • The problem with having a gun is that somebody might use it.

        The problem with your position is that you’re making the assumption that every possible use of a firearm will be for an offensive purpose.

        I’m 196 cm, 120 kg of mostly muscle, and I train in Krav Maga. If I were to “go evil”, your position on firearms dooms that pretty little 150 cm, 45 kg, 21 year old coedI want to rape to fighting me off bare handed. It dooms that 65 year old grandmother I want to mug to fighting me off bare handed.

        In short, your position returns us to the middle ages, when Might made Right, and your average citizen was nothing more than a peasant, hoping he got through his life without being abused too terribly much.

        As someone much better with words than I am put it: The Gun is Civilisation.

      • Panticles, I don’t understand your position when it comes to weapons. Unless your trying to take the position that “I trust me and my friends, but no one else” which is a very common liberal position.

        I have a lot of weapons, and not has ever been used to kill someone. Legally own firearms in this country are used in less than 1% of firearms related crimes. In fact, the areas that have the strictest gun laws have the highest murder rates. This even holds up overseas. Brittan banned almost all guns, and gun related crime skyrocketed. Now Brittan has started banning knives. When that doesn’t work what are they going to try next?

      • You both make valid points. The use of a a gun in a defensive role is a valid use of a firearm. It still doesn’t mean that I like it though!

        I’m trying to think of a good answer to your point perlhaqr about the use of force by a strong person against a weak person and how without the equalising power of a gun the weaker person must give into the stronger.

        I can’t really think of a good one. I could say maybe that putting a firearm into the hands of a weaker person doesn’t guarantee that person will use their new found strength not to be a tyrant themselves. I could maybe say that a firearm is only as good as the will of the person to use it. But all that sounds like bull crap to my ears.

        The only thing that pops into my head that I think is a valid responsed is that people should be better than they are. The stronger person shouldn’t use their strength to force compliance by a weaker person. They should use that strength to better themselves and those around them. But that isn’t the way humans work and I can’t say that the creation of firearms didn’t help to equalise the strength imbalance between a physically strong person and a physically weak person.

        I’m still not happy with this reply though. I feel like I’m missing something important or not conveying the right argument.

        Iron Spartan I’m definitely not taking the position that weapons should only be in the hands of an elite few, I dont think anybody should have weapons and especially not my friends! Hell one of my best friends has told me that if the earth is ever going to be destroyed, be it by comet, the Revelation, zombie apocalypse or whatever he’s going to find a convenient rooftop and start sniping people and I’m the first on his list! Don’t get me wrong I love the guy but he should definitely not have easy access to a firearm. Or anything with a sharp edge. Or a stick. He’s a fragging psycho. Good guy to have on your side in a fight though.

        My stance is that nobody should have any weapons and that people should all get along. But we all know that’s a bunch of crap so the best I can hope for is that we try and make getting access to guns harder for criminals. Which is also a bunch of crap so basically I’m hoping that nothing bad will happen to anybody I know.

        As for the firearm rates all over the world, whats the defining feature of those stats? The fact that they all involve firearms. Legal, illegal, if you take away all those guns all those rates go away. Having said that knive attacks would probably go way up!

        Every gun is a potentially deadly weapon. You can’t use a gun for anything else really. Possibly fishing? No guns, no gun crime but probably a lot more knife crime. Maybe swords will make a comeback!

        So in conclusion, after rambling all over the place, guns are bad because of their potential to kill people but they are also the great equalisier and are fun to use. Can’t we all just get along?

      • So in conclusion, after rambling all over the place, guns are bad because of their potential to kill people but they are also the great equalisier and are fun to use.

        Guns have no potential to kill people. A gun requires someone or something to pick it up, load it, and pull the trigger. You hear folks over here say “Guns don’t kill people, people kill people” for a reason. Whether unintentional or deliberate, a person shoots a gun. The gun does not shoot itself. Ever.

        Neither will I entertain your logic applied where the blame belongs. People are the ones with potential to kill people, and that does not make them bad. Sumdood kicks in my door and moves for my kid, I’mma drill him. He may die. I would be the good guy there.

        tweaker

      • I hate to argue semantics with you Speakertweaker but a gun does have the potential to kill somebody, all it is is potential. When somebody loads a gun they are fulfilling it’s purpose, to be fired, turning what was a potential threat into an actual threat.

        With no bullets in it a gun is merely a club or staff or if it’s got a knife attached a spear. It can still be used to kill somebody but it takes more effort.

        Also it’s probably more accurate to say that ammo kills people, the gun is just the delivery method.

        But you are right it is people that kill people. A gun just makes it a heck of a lot easier!:) It takes the will of a person to pull a trigger and kill somebody or something else. Having said that I’m sure there are instances where a gun has just ‘gone off’ be it because the ammo or gun was in some way faulty. Not sure if I’m correct about that or not though.

        I completely understand what you mean about the situation dictating the actions a person may take in defence of themselves or their loved ones. But having a gun involved makes the situation that much deadlier. Having said that though if some guy is trying to attack your kids or you, shoot the bastard.

        I may not like guns or what they represent but I support the right of people to defend themselves and their loved ones. Nothing’s more important than family.

      • The only reall weapon is between your ears. Everything else is just a tool. Some may be better suited for the job, but they’re still just tools, no matter what they’re labeled as.

        You can give a person all the high speed, secret squirrel super duper nifty toys you like, and a clever, patient and smart man could still sneak up and bash him over the head with a rock.

  13. The surge was bad under Bush but good under 0bama.

    Strom Thurmond was a racist for voting against the Civil Rights Act, but card carrying KKK member Robert Byrd who voted against the Civil Rights Act has done SO MUCH for equality and justice.

    I have 14 pages of crap like that.

  14. If Nickwolf comes back, I have fifty quatloos on Larry.

  15. Larry, just so you know and don’t swat me across the room or anything, next time I see you in person I’m going to get some of your DNA so I can send it to the Nerds, and clone you. Then I’m going to take the (magically adult and Correia-like) clone to work with me, both to intimidate the aggressive weirdos and also to help me laugh so that I don’t strangle someone.

    What? You won’t let me have your illegitimate love children… :P

    • Well he is a Mormon, I’m sure you guys can work something out…:)

      On a serious note though if you do clone Larry it won’t be the exact same person just somebody who looks a lot like him. You probably want to get that fixed though cause I hear he’s ugly as sin!

      • That is why along with the cloning, we have to get the brain mapping and imprinting process perfected as well.
        No sense having a clone if yo can’t duplicate the thoughts and memories.

      • Word to that. Here’s a thought though: Is it masturbation if you have sex with your clone?

        I’m telling you right now that this will be a serious problem if we ever get the whole clone process working properly. Especially if you can switch genders as well.

        The whole issue of breaking the genetic code and being able to rework it at will has a whole host of ethical and legal issues surrounding it. Having said that it would be pretty cool to play soccer with a team composed entirely of clones of me. We would kick ass!

  16. Larry, I have to say you have a way with words like no one else I’ve read. That said, I’m glad nickwolf hasn’t caught on to how conservatives commonly beat puppies WITH kittens or he might get really angry…………. Moron! I raise you both a period.

  17. I laughed so much people were giving me dirty looks. The Joe Biden part was especially good. I had tears in my eyes.

  18. “WHAT A PATHETIC NO NOTHING!”

    (*snork*)

    …And that, for me, was “How long? How long?” it took me to get to “the point of know return” with nickwolf’s rant. (To borrow a line from a great seventies Kansas album.)

    What a spectacular hunk of burning fail…

  19. Wow. I think that guy might have just convinced me to be for the War on (Some) Drugs, ’cause damn, if that’s what comes of huffing paint…

    • My friend the war on drugs is a badly led fiasco. Here’s how you win that war. Don’t bloody fight it.

      Legalise all forms of casual drug use. Once it’s legal you tax the crap out of it then apply both social and legal pressure like they are doing with cigarettes and make it uncool and a health risk. People do drugs for a multitude of reasons, mostly peer pressure, depression, mental health issues and because they think its cool. If people don’t think it’s cool there will be a drop off.

      And if it’s legal you take away a drug dealers lively hood meaning that they’ll be forced to take up either some other type of criminal enterprise or maybe get a fragging job. There’s ways around that but they involve creating legitimate employment opportunities and getting them into areas that need them.

      How do you stop your children from doing drugs? By educating them, keeping an eye on them, communicating with them, being involved with their lives, treating them like the people you want them to be and kicking their ass if necessary. Also set a freaking example! Don’t do something that you’ve just told your kid not to do!

      Sorry I get worked up about this subject.

      • I’m also starting to think that those guys who tried to introduce a sarcasm punctuation mark may have had a point.

        My comment was intended fully in the ironic mode, but while Larry knows me well enough to realise that, I understand that not all of his readers would.

        I concur with your position, here.

      • Fair call. I got the sarcasm I just kind of get worked up about the whole issue. For me it’s Prohibition writ large. I’m not saying it isn’t working but the approach to the whole issue is short sighted and seems to me to be causing more problems that its solving. Sorry for coming off a bit heavy handed. Mea culpa.

        As for the sarcasm punctuation marks may I suggest a possible solution? The Parish Sarcasm Indicators (PSI) is a double parrallel backslash at the start of a sarcastic statement while ending said statement in a double parrellel forward slash.

        For example consider the following sentence ‘I like your shoes’ now with the PSI in place you can see the transformation!

        \\’I like your shoes’//

        What a difference! Now whenever you feel the need to let loose an unfettered stream of sarcasm you too can use the Parish Sarcasm Indicators and never have anybody not pick up on it ever again!

  20. Thanks for brightening my day, Larry. This infected abscess in my tooth hurts, but it hurts because of the joy that Komrade Krazny brought to me this evening. A bottle of scotch and some pain pills should be kicking in any time now.

    When it does, I’m going to be going back and rereading his letter. Maybe then it’ll make some sense…

    • Yeah that shit’s funnier when I’m half-smashed. Now to se how utterly hilarious it is when fully smashed…

  21. I feel as though I’ve peered over the edge of the abyss, and I’m pretty sure there’s a lot of drug use, self-loathing, and microwaved meals down in nickwolf’s den, aka, his parent’s basement.

    The thoughts of a liberal are pretty creepy, I’d be scared, except our side has all the guns.

  22. I’ll give him a Silver in this the 2010 Lunatic Olympiad, to get Gold you need to work Hitler in there somewhere.

    • He did make passing references to Bush, in a liberal mind, that is synonymous with Hitler.
      Although to be fair, most of them feel sorry that Hitler has to get drug through the mud so much, by being equated to Bush.

  23. My candidate for Bronze is our dear leaders brother from another mother Hugo “Muy Muy Loco” Chavez

    http://www.sun-sentinel.com/topic/sports/hugo-chavez-PESPT001231.topic

  24. That whole mess couldn’t have been funnier. My day has been brightened considerably.

    Thank you, Larry, for sharing this freak’s lunacy with the rest of us.

    And NICKWOLF! I LOVE YOU MAN! YOUR SO AWSUM! AND YOU NO SO MUCH MORE THAN EVRYBODY ELSE!

    Now go get you some more Krylon. I recommend the silver color; Krylon gets you zoned better than the generic brands and the silver color gives your upper lip a wonderful shiny hue. Wal-mart has it on sale this week, I believe.

    Oh, yeah, Wal-mart is working with Nixon and the Chinese to take over the world. We can’t condone that kind of Evil. Never mind, I’m sure that Home Depot carries Krylon as well. You’ll just have to pay a bit more for it there. It’s okay, you can afford it now thanks to Jesus Obama…I mean, ARE LORD AND SAVEYOUR BARAK OBAMA, and his soon to be realized Benevolent Dictatorship over all of the evil, evil Capitalist pig-dogs.

    HE WILL FREE! US ALL, COMRADES!!!!!!! WE MUST JOIN NICKWOLF AND UNITE AGAINST THE DASTARDLY REPUBLICRATS! ! ! !!!

    I like this troll thing. It’s kind of liberating to use all caps and rant without saying a damn thing that makes any sense. I should go Huffpo and try this out.

    Good times.

  25. For the record, “Nickwolf” is different than myself, the last Nick to warrant a “look at this commie liberal” post from Larry. I may be as horribly Marxist (or is it Stalinist now? I’m not as up on my Glenn Beck political definitions as I used to be) as “Nickwolf,” but I’m also capable of writing a sentence that makes sense and I don’t identify myself with a handle chosen by a gaggle of 13-year-old Twilight readers.

    Just wanted to throw that one out there. I’m not even gonna try to argue politics on this post, because “Nickwolf” already made even the valid points of his argument, the ones I agree with, look insipid through his posting techniques.

    Idiots who disagree with me can be annoying, but not nearly as annoying as those who are on the same side.

    • Yeah but he’s on our side! You can’t be dissing your home boys yo!

      Sure he’s mentally retarded but by the Hairy Steel Balls of Odin, Nickwolf is one of us! If they get Glenn Beck then we’re allowed Nickwolf!

      We can’t let these Gun-Toting, Whiskey Drinking, Cigar Loving Conservatives think that just because somebody is in an altered mental state probably due to either years of drug and alcohol abuse or being born with a missing left side of the brain that their crazy disjointed ramblings on a blog posted over a year ago is free game for their hilarious wittisms!

      I say ‘No More’ good sir! Let us stand united arm in arm as all good liberals should be and defend to the utmost this insane madness given written form by the one to be forevermore known as ‘Nickwolf’.

      OBAMA4LYFE! SAVETHEWHALES! GLOBALWARMINGISREAL! NICKWOLF4PRESIDENT!

      You know on consideration maybe we just give them this one…

      • But what about we Gun-Toting, Whisky Drinking, Cigar Loving Anarcho-Libertarians?

        Is there a table for us?

        Oh, wait. We bring our own table. It’s the only moral choice.

        Sorry, please continue.

      • -Currently building his own table.-

      • Ok the anarcho-libertarians can bring their own tables but that means the greens won’t be able to set up their hemp display stand, but who cares about those hippie freaks!

        Get a haircut you damn tree huggers!

      • Panticles..
        then you won’t be offended when I don’t let you shoot my guns, drink my whiskey or [horror of horrors] smoke my stogies? *grin*

  26. Nickwolf has no time for contractions! Hahaha! Classic.

  27. Dear Mr. Nickwolf,
    HUKED 0n F0NIKS WURKS 4 ME TU!!! Priceless.

  28. Reading that was disturbing. Reading that and literally feeling brain cells die from the effort of trying to understand him was heartbreaking.

  29. Whoa! Larry, you can be very hyperbolic, but you’ll back it with facts to actually prove a point.

  30. Ellipsis abuse will rot yer brain.

    Just sayin’.

    • Disregard my previous post then. I don’t want to be responsible for excessive brain rot. ;>

      • Unless of course you are nickwolf, then……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

  31. I think are friend nickwolf must have just scored some weed from the mexican drug dealers the federal government is not stopping from coming into the country. I certainly hope so because the other option is he actually is this stupid

  32. I don’t normally condone drug use, but this guy *needs* some weed. He needs to chill the hell out. You can almost *feel* the rage coming off of this aggro mother hubbard.

    I mean, WTF? Does he spend his days Googling things, then getting all mad and writing angry, incoherent emails when he finds old articles he doesn’t like?

  33. It gets even funnier if you imagine nickwolfs prose in the cadences of William Shatner and Corriea’s as Worf’s. They take it from merely hilarious to pee your pants laughing levels.

    • AWESOME.

    • That, sir, is the winning post of the day.

      I actually went back and re-read it in this fashion. I had to stop several times to wait for the blood pressure from laughing to settle before continuing.

  34. Hahaha.

    Why does it seem the most mentally unbalanced posted, ideas and arguments come from liberals? And they call us nuts….

    • It’s because we’re always high or drunk, usually both at the same time. Hell I’m writing this while sipping meths drained through a loaf of bread and huffing twink from a bag!

      You try and come up with liberal slogans while sober. It’s hard work. The best I’ve ever done was to come up with ‘Liberals Do It With The Lights On!’ and I’m not even sure if that’s a good or bad thing.

  35. Nickwolf proves the truth in a quote that I believe came from Winston Churchill. “To be young and conservative is to have no heart. To be old and liberal is to have no brain.”

  36. “Social progress can be measured by the social position of the female sex.”

    Nobody has touched this yet (OK, maybe I am using the wrong wording here). Does this mean that depending on where are we with social progress, certain parts of the female anatomy move from their original place?

    Larry… pure GENIUS MY MAN YOUS THE BESTEST

  37. I regret that this man used part of my name.

  38. Wow. The degree of ignorance is staggering.

  39. “FOR 50 YRS YOU AND YOUR TERMITE FRIENDS HAVE BEEN MAKING AMERICAN BROTHERHOOD COLLAPSE IN HATE”

    Larry –

    If this is true, that the termites are your friends, I have a business propostion for you. We could put Orkin out of business!

  40. THAT. WAS. EPIC! Larry that was teh awesome!

  41. Ow. My brain is all hurty now.

  42. I completely cracked up at “PONYBOY TO THE RICH”. I don’t even have any idea what nickwolf means by that, but reading Larry’s response was hilarious.

  43. […] Nickwolf REPLIES! Posted on August 4, 2010 by correia45 You guys remember Nickwolf, right? http://larrycorreia.wordpress.com/2010/07/27/diary-of-an-unhinged-imbecile-by-nickwolf-with-special-… […]

  44. I feel like I should have been drinking a beer and taking hits from a bong while I read that diatribe.

  45. Oh and in Nickwolf’s defense? If I’m supremely pissed off and ranting my spelling, and grammar, can go a bit wonky…but damn!

  46. […] nutjob has returned! For those of you who’ve not had the pleasure of meeting Nickwolf, click here http://larrycorreia.wordpress.com/2010/07/27/diary-of-an-unhinged-imbecile-by-nickwolf-with-special-… and prepare to be amazed. Then he replied with this one […]

  47. I think even my Communist friends would say “wtf?” to this guy.

  48. It made me laugh. I showed this to a democratic friend and a socialist friend of mine, and they both asked what the hell is wrong with this guy. Maybe he burns in sunlight.

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