Diary of an Unhinged Imbecile by nickwolf, with special commentary by Larry Correia

As a conservative blogger, I get a lot of hate mail. I know that may totally shock you, since everybody knows liberals are filled with love (and if you cut one, only rainbows fly out; do not try this at home).   Normally when I get something really vapid and asinine, I just delete it rather than let it clutter up my blog. As you’ve all seen, when I get a blog comment that I disagree with, but it is at least intelligent (or spelled correctly) I’ll leave it. I actually enjoy disagreeing with smart people.

I got this one the other day from somebody named nickwolf (no space, because he was too angry to hit the space bar). My first clue that it was crap was because it was posted to http://larrycorreia.wordpress.com/2009/08/05/reasons-why-the-obama-joker-socialist-poster-are-appropriate/ which is a year old. Second, it is almost a thousand words long.  Everything I write is long, but I get paid to write stuff, so I type about as fast as I think. But nothing says crazy like a thousand word unintelligible screed posted to a year old blog post… Well, making a woman suit from human skin does scream crazy a bit more, but I do tend to use a lot of hyperbole.

I was going to delete this, but it was just too awesome to not share. The original *missive* is in italics. As usual, my comments will be in bold.  Now, please gentle readers of the Monster Hunter Nation, let us enjoy together:

DIARY OF AN UNHINGED IMBECILE by NICKWOLF

Morons who can’t think, can’t debate, can’t add! He said to the professional accountant. Want to bring back the same people who’s ?? entire failed philosophy has been proven false and will continue to debase and ruin our society and economy. They keep trotting out the same provenly (Provenly, a flavor of cheese from Belgium) useless and dangerous cures for the same problems that almost killed us. Keep in mind that at this point, I still don’t know what his point is. This is the definition of insanity No, that would be this message that you posted and why Americans are not free. They fold to the big corporations everytime…..unable to add or think for themselves….they deserve what stupid gets…..poverty! 

I’m a little confused. But it continues.

Backing the same filth that caused this mess and try to stop the repairs at every turn. This was my first hint as to his point. I should have known that the dastardly George Bush would somehow be involved. They want the economy to be bad so they block its recovery at every turn….and you want to vote them back in?? Whew! Okay, two paragraphs in and I finally know what he’s talking about! We saw what their philosophy brings…destruction of the middle class. 1.3 Trillion oh don’t worry, I’ll address this softball pitch added to the deficit with tax cuts to the rich. And you want to continue that policy?? The tax cuts? Since I’m now “rich”, hell yeah I do!  and hope magically that the deficit won’t go up again? AIN’T GONNA HAPPEN…LEARN TO ADD! Correia looks at the accounting degree on the wall of his finance office and, puzzled, scratches his head.

Do you want a common sense doctor to operate on your brain ….. How many ellipses do you need? Three is standard, but five shows you mean business! or a 15 yr college degree surgeon with 12 yrs experience. Like the ones that all didn’t want the healthcare bill to pass? Do you hire a cheerleader (Palin) to run a 21st Century Superpower…. or an Intellectual like our founding fathers….like President Barak Obama??  No. Really? Man, this is comedy gold.


The founding fathers were all educated men….these moronic righties are proof that democracy does not work.
Yep. The founding fathers were educated men. That’s why they didn’t create a democracy. They created a constitutional republic. Idiot.  Wait……… Idiot. (I see your 4 periods and raise you 7! That’s better)


Let them secede, give them their own state…
Oh, God, please, yes. they will soon live in caves and eat their own kind. Naw. Too fatty from all that red meat. Tired of paying the Souths taxes (hey, Nick, that would be south’s, as in possessive) ( they pay a net negative federal tax, progressive States pay them) That old myth is false, and the only way you get it is 1. Counting the federal defense budget money because there are more military bases in red states. 2. Federal lands gobbling up the west. 3. In the south, mandated federal liberal social programs dating back to LBJ that have tried to wreck places like Birmingham and Atlanta.  

Tired of hearing their old tired rants about freedom…. while they suck the behind of every corporation in America that cheats them daily. Wait. Who bought GM? What administration is employing more former corporate lobbyists than any other in history?


America is not a Stalinist country…it is not Communist …
Never said it was. That’s what we would like to prevent no matter how often and for how many yrs ( at least 60 yrs) Republicrats have been yelling it!! IT NEVER HAPPENED. The Great Society, the National Recovery Act, Social Security, Medicare, prescription drug benefits… The federal government redistributing wealth for social engineering purposes? Imagined the whole thing.


IT, LIKE ALL THEIR OTHER CLAIMS ARE PROVABLE LIES…..THATS WHY THEY DON’T DEBATE !
You must not know me very well.


Obama has already done more for them than any Republican President in history….thats a provable fact!
I’ll actually agree there. He’s done more to promote Marxist philosophy than any other president in history.


But they are too stupid and racist to know it or admit to it!
Yep. Got me. I’m racist against socialists. (just remember my one rule and you’ll be fine)


And don’t pretend that the John Birch Society, the KKK or White Supremacist groups in your Tea Party aren’t pathetic cowardly, Racists! Because they are! 
The exclamation point does not normally go in the middle of a sentence. And I’ve been to a couple of tea parties, where ironically I’ve seen blacks, Asians, and Hispanics, but I’ve never seen anybody in a white hood. Why stop there? The Tea Party also harbors Ming the Merciless, Satanists, head-hunters, and Cthulu. I saw that on Keith Olberman.

IT’S EASY TO HATE….HARD TO BUILD SOMETHING WORTHWHILE. AMERICA HAS BEEN BUILDING A LIGHT FOR THE WORLD…..THESE TERMITES ARE ROTTING THE BEAMS AND TEARING DOWN THE BASIC AMERICAN SPIRIT OF BROTHERHOOD. Jeez! Quit shouting at me.

WE WILL FIGHT THEM TO THE DEATH….LIKE ALWAYS! Yep. He’s upset because nobody wants to debate him, right before he threatens to kill them. Which is ironic, since I’m on the side with the guns.  :D

WHAT UTTER NONSENSE. I DEAL WITH INDIA EVERY DAY…..THEY LOVE OBAMA! WHAT A STEAMING LOAD! I have no idea what this means. It’s funny if you read it out loud though, and shout every third word like you’ve got Tourette’s Syndrome. Seriously. I’ll wait while you try it.

Hilarious, huh?

LETS KEEP GIVING TAX BREAKS FOR OUTSOURCING OUR I.T. JOBS….IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT TO CONTINUE? NO LEVEL PLAYING FIELD, SO THAT SLAVE NATIONS CAN EAT US ALIVE IN OUR OWN MARKET?? Wow. I don’t even know how I got assigned to defend outsourcing to India.

WHAT A PATHETIC NO NOTHING! That would be Know, with a K.

 
PONYBOY TO THE RICH.
Us Outsiders got to stick together. Dallas, Sodapop and me ain’t got no choice. Greasers forever!

You pretend to know about Socialism. You don’t. Man, reading that giant stack of history books was such a waste! We and the other Industrialized nations have used social safety nets to make a richer society. That doesn’t make us Socialists…but realists! That’s kind of like saying that you have sex with other men, but you’re not gay.

And to my gay readers, it was just an analogy! I love you guys too. Just not in that way.

The early British were examples of Colonial Fascists….they had a crap society. That produced the educated intellectuals he cited earlier. Nations who spend on education and social well being are not Socialists…just like Christian Social Justice is the bulwark of the bible. I thought it was to testify of Christ? These expenditures if properly implemented ….result in less crime, less people in jail, less poverty, more productivity and higher health standards for their countries. Interesting. A list of ideals without admitting the many flaws. There is a glimmer of cleverness. Perhaps I’ll actually be able to debate–You seem to be backing King George or Mussolini??  Oh, never mind.

STOP ALL THE IGNORANT FEAR MONGERING…FOR 50 YRS YOU AND YOUR TERMITE FRIENDS HAVE BEEN MAKING AMERICAN BROTHERHOOD COLLAPSE IN HATE….. WERE A CAPITALIST COUNTRY. Nickwolf has no time for contractions! OBAMA IS NOT CHANGING THAT. No. Of course not. The government should totally own over half the economy in a capitalist society. That whole thing where the government took over the insurance, banking, finance, auto, and medical industry in the last couple years… Not socialist at all.

WE MUST GET A HANDLE ON WHAT’S BRING US DOWN…..STOP GETTING IN THE WAY…..YOU HAVE NO IDEAS, YOU ARE PATHETICALLY USELESS…….DEBATE ME IF YOU WANT TO GET YOUR HAT HANDED TO YOU! If you could focus long enough to string two coherent thoughts together in a row, that might be possible.

And I’m not handing you your hat. I’m handing you your head.

YOUR ANSWER IS SIMPLE …. IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT SOME PAST PHILOSOPHER THINKS. TODAYS PROBLEMS ARE TODAY! WE NEED SOLUTIONS NOT IDEALOG’S WITH PROVEN WORTHLESS, DANGEROUS NON IDEAS. Wow. You know, the single best thing I did to help conservatism in America today? I posted this in public. Thank you.

Kensian Economics is a fact, even Reagan knew this, apparently you don’t!! You mean Keynesian? Yes. I took a class on it in college. Booooooring. Not a fan. 

JESUS DOESN’T AGREE WITH WHAT YOU SAY…. You know it is bad when you’ve got somebody citing Jesus, Marx, and Obama in one tirade. DOES THAT MAKE YOU THE DEVIL. ?? Actually, that would be M. Night Shyamalan.

SO WHENS THE DEBATE? … KARL MARX MY ___S  He actually inserted the underscore. I’m not sure what the word was. Karl Marx my Shorts? Karl Marx my Homies?  

“Social progress can be measured by the social position of the female sex.”  Usually when you quote somebody, you might want to say where it came from. A quick check with Google reveals that this quote comes from Grimace. (and the internet is never wrong)

Commie Purpelo

 He was a well known Trotskyite.

Does this mean every American Woman is a Marxist ?
and womans voting rights were marxist??? 
The logical progression of that actually hurt my brain.


……Your acting the fool!! 
Know! You’re….. (I’m trying to talk his language)

My Dad took socialism at Ohio State in 1938 … it’s a political subject….does that make him a Marxist? No. But it makes him very old.

AMERICANS! STAND UP TO THESE PATHETIC LITTLE FEAR MONGER!  I’ve never been accused of being little before. I have to shop at the XL Casual Male Outlet.  I do love me some Mongering though.

Let’s see Republicans losing 750,000 jobs a month times 4
That would mean President Obama should be losing 3 million jobs per month? ACCORDING TO YOUR STATEMENT. 
I was confused, but couldn’t find where I made that statement, so now he’s apparently arguing with Larry Correias from other dimensions.

Instead Jobs went to a plus 200,000. Thats about 600 % better!  Holy crap! Am I talking to Joe Biden? Did Joe Biden get liquored up and angry-drunk post on my blog?

WHY CAN’T REPUBLICRATS DO MATH???? Why can’t socialists use proper grammar???? Kind of a rhetorical question, don’t you think?

IT WOULD BE HIGHER IF YOUR ILK DIDN’T OPPOSE EVERY ATTEMPT AT RECOVERY….. FOR POLITICAL GAIN!! I can almost see nickwolf as he types this with two fingers, spittle flying from his lips, face all red, as he pounds away.

REPUBLICANS OPENED UP THE CHINESE CAN OF WORMS WITH NIXON AND THE WALMART FAMILY. Jesus, Marx, and Walmart. We’ve reached a whole new level of crazy.

BUSH BORROWED THE ENTIRE WAR FROM CHINA AND JAPAN ETC. Yep. Bush sucked. Moving along. DEFICITS ARE DEFICITS AND THEY ARE NEVER BIGGER THAN UNDER A REPUBLICAN ADMINISTRATION! Yep. Let’s see–

I believe the term is pwned.

 BAM!

THEY DON’T TAX AND SPEND ….THEY BORROW NEXT YEARS TAXES AND SPEND THEM THIS YEAR!
FOR YOUR CHILDREN TO PAY BACK….PLUS INTEREST!
I’m against excessive government spending, whether it is republican or democrat, but I’m especially against spending for stupid crap.

THATS THE FACTS If you can’t read and you only watch the regular news

THE SURPLUS CAME UNDER THE DEMOCRATS! Yep. The legendary “peace dividend”. Once again, you can’t really argue with somebody who has no concept of historical continuity.

REPUBLICRATS WASTED ALL OF IT AND MORE! Building up a military for the cold war = Waste. Giving money to ACORN for Guatemalan sex slaves = Good.

BUSH WANTED YOUR SOCIAL SECURITY INVESTED IN THE STOCK MARKET!! Because it is so much better off the way it is. THINK OF WHAT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED TO GRANDMA AND GRANDPA IF HE HAD GOTTEN HIS WAY….. A failed socialist policy of FDR might have been solvent for a couple more years?

THATS REPUBLICAN IDEAS FOR YOU!!  

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is a look into the eyes of crazy. Kids, this is why you don’t huff paint.

More Grimnoir Art

Here are some more interior artwork items for my upcoming novel, Hard Magic.  These are done by the very talented Zachary Hill.  He’s limited to working in black and white, with simple drawings that will still translate well into the small illustrations of a paperback.  These are going to be shrunk down quite a bit. I think he’s really captured the noir/pulp/adventure retro-cool vibe of a magical 1932. 

Zach’s also a novelist, and is currently submitting his novel Gorgon to publishers.  I really appreciate the work that he’s done on this project.

Delilah

Faye

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