Random updates

I’m taking a pistol class tomorrow. I’ve not been shooting in like, forever. That’s what happens when you’re building a house and have deadlines.  Of course, I discovered that most of my gear is somewhere at the bottom of a giant pile of crap in a storage unit.  I bought a new pair of electronic ears and (fingers-crossed) I’ve got a BladeTech holster arriving today. (because Rabbit is the Man).  It is kind of ironic for the guy who used to own a gunstore to come to a class with cobbled together crap for equipment.

On that note, don’t worry. I still have my emergency zombie response kit. Nobody tried to pack it, but that’s probably because a 3X armored vest with ballistic plates and 300 rounds of 5.56 TAP in the pouches is too heavy for most people to get into a cardboard box.

I was watching the news at lunch. Apparently somebody left a cooler out in Times Square, so there was a bomb scare and every channel was tuned in for the breaking coverage… of a cooler. Sitting there.  It wasn’t even a very big cooler.  The news anchors (who are all from New York) were going on about just exactly where this cooler was in relation to the Marriot or the Best Western, or whatever the hell other useless geography factoid 99% of the country doesn’t care about. This is just further proof that the news thinks everything revolves around New York.  Meanwhile, Nashville is completely flooded, thousands of homes are destroyed, and people have died.  Zip. No coverage at all.  Ironic that.

Last week a moron made a really crappy bomb and left it in Times Square.  Luckily the bomb was a total piece of crap and failed to do anything interesting. I built better bombs than that when I was fourteen.  So once again, our Random Dutchmen defense pays off for Janet Napolitano.  As long as we are only attacked by really dumb terrorists, this strategy should continue to pay off.

Some media wizard was dissapointed when the idiot bomber turned out to be a Pakistani. Apparently they had really been hoping that it had been a “tea-bagger.”  That says a lot about the current state of affairs in our media.

On that note, tea-bagger has become a really popular term, even being used by Obama himself, which just shows what a classy guy he is.  Whatever, keep on using the term.  We don’t really mind. In fact, since you guys can’t actually win any arguments or point out where the Tea Partiers are wrong, just run with the name calling… And don’t forget to always add that we’re racist. Racism is like the cherry on top.

My wife found a new type of candy at a store the other day. Apparently they are religious themed chocolate mints called, and I’m not making this up, “TestaMints”.  This immediately caused us to start coming up with some advertising slogans. My favorites were “Baptize your mouth with Flavor! TestaMints!”  and “Call bad breath to repentance! With TestaMints!”  And despite this blog comment, I bet not a single fundamentalist baptist will threaten to saw my head off.  They’re cool like that.  

The house is coming along. We’ve now got basement walls, main line plumbing, and they’ve backfilled and put in the window wells. No floor yet. I think the county needs to approve the plumbing before they cover it up.  I’m dying to have a house again.

In writing news, with Nightcrawler back from EOD school, we can now put the finishing touches on Dead Six. I think you guys are going to really like this one.

21 Responses

  1. I can’t say I like the term for the Tea Party movement but it is much better than being the Teabagee

  2. I have to wonder if the Torries called em Tea-Baggers too?

    And which gunstore did you used to have? I shopped at most of em in SLC/Utah county back in the 90’s.

    • David, I was one of the owners of FBMG in Draper. I sold my share in 2008 and in 2009 they went out of business.

  3. TestaMints! lol! Only in Utah. Where can I find some?

    Glad to hear you and Nightcrawler can get to business with Dead 6. I was just reading Welcome Back, Mr. Nightcrawler last night and was reminded just how great a phenomenon that thread was. I can’t wait for the book.

  4. I’m not a fundamentalist, but I would consider myself a conservative christian, and I like to make puns like that. Not offended at all… and you should hear some of the puns my pastor comes up with.

    Just wanted to put that out there.

  5. Hey..in other news Tom Clancy has a new book coming out on December 7th. It’s title? Dead or Alive. Just found out

  6. Armaggedon got you down? Try a TestaMint!

    I myself don’t mind being called a Teabagger, as a party member I find it amusing to hear “respectable” media using the term. On the flip side my grandma is also a member. And no one makes fun of my grandma. No one.

  7. Classy, the Obama Whitehouse ain’t.

    Yup, they’ve set themselves up as the Teabaggees.

    Larry, all of Middle Tennessee was hit pretty hard by the flooding. I fired off a nasty-gram to FoxNews.com about the lack of coverage. The only thing (according to them) that was affected was the Grand ‘Ol Opry, and even then, they were showing pictures of the Opryland Resort. I built my house on a ridge, but we were cut off from the rest of the world for a couple days when both bridges outta here were underwater. Filled up the bathtubs w/ water just in case and hunkered down and waited. Funny thing, as much worse as this was here than in The Big Easy (overall property damage-wise) there has been NO looting anywhere in Middle TN. Go figger. ‘Course, nobody even thought about coming by to relieve me of my FAL or various and sundry other firearms. But we’re gonna be busy rebuilding and cleaning up for a few years it looks like.

    Oh, I fit the bill of a Christian Fundamentalist, but my sense of humor is fully functional, gonna have to get some Testamints for Rosary-fresh breath, neh?

  8. I had sort of the same reaction upon hearing about the bomber and his epic fizzle.
    Am I really that screwed up from my upbringing, that I could immediately identify 6 things he did wrong before even seeing any of the coverage?
    Never mind that from my military and work training, I am now capable of leveling half a city with only a weekend of prep time and about $37.50.
    Let alone if I were to take some time an plan/brainstorm with a friend or two.
    Thank heavens I love my country and have faith in our people and the strength of the principals our country was founded on. I would have been an evil insurgent. It makes me shudder just thinking of the things I could dream up.
    Far better to just keep them in literary forms and never allow them to come to reality.

    Here is another shout out for TestaMints, How minty cool is YOUR faith?

  9. “Cast thy evil halitosis away with TestaMints!”

    The Opryland Hotel was hit real bad. I just got some pics and it breaks my heart to see the gardens just destroyed.

  10. Testamints… we get all Old Testament on bad breath.

    If bad breath isn’t a sin, it ought to be, get saved with Testamints!

    Testamints, because our marketing department can’t spell Minty-shaler-hash-baz.

    And I AM a preacher…

    The flooding in Nashville looks epic, but it’s darn near impossible to find good coverage of it. I’ve been through the Opryland Hotel- it was a gorgeous place, I hope they can get it cleaned up. We were just at the Opry about a year ago too; hard to believe it was flooded. Nashville is a beautiful city, my heart goes out to the people.

  11. Heh. I’m what would be considered a fundamentalist, and I think the puns are great.

    Why should you take two Baptists out while fishing?

    Because then your beer and cigarettes are safe.

  12. You should be careful insulting Baptists. Things like this can turn ugly real fast. No one wants you ending up like Andres Serrano. Angry letters to the editor, senators calling you offensive, people praying for you to repent of your sins; you need to be more careful man.

  13. I live in White House, TN, about 40 miles or so north of Nashville, and while I haven’t been to Nashville since the flooding, my dad works there and I’ve gotten some pretty good descriptions of the damage, along with what I’ve seen on local news shows.
    And on the “tea-bagger” thing, I don’t really mind the nickname since I look at it from a gaming perspective; one can only tea-bag one’s opponent after thoroughly destroying them in-game. So being a tea-bagger ain’t all bad.

  14. hey, don’t knock the testamints. the can be very useful against possessed, levitating dogs…

  15. Larry thank you for the Nashville comment i fired off a couple nasty emails to major news services myself last week. Glad to hear some folks outside the state of TN noticed are plight and how idiotic it was to cover 2 non events like they were the end of New York.

    Now for a beg any chance can send Joe Buckley some more chapters for snippets to next Monster Hunter Book :)

    For all us water logged Tennessean if nothing else :)

  16. EntitleMints taste better, ’cause they’re free!

  17. The power of TestaMints compels you!

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