I have the coolest fans ever


From Moose on www.wethearmed.com

And in other news, Kirk, who paints awesome miniatures, is working on SPOILER ALERT 



certain character cough * E.H. are his initials *from the final scene from MHI. 


He is going to have the armor all torn and hanging off of the werewolf.  I can’t wait to see the end results.

werewolf 2

werewolf 1


Someone is wrong on the internets!

This was posted to the latest comments in the HK. Because you suck. And we hate you. thread.  (written in 2007 and still getting hate mail).  This is the kind of crap that I have to deal with.

If you get a sneer from HK for wanting to handle an MP5 at the shot show, it’s because you don’t have a class 3 license.  If you do not have a class 3, you cannot handle a fully automatic weapon.  To have disdain for someone following FFL laws is moronic. 

Huh… Is that so?  First off, you don’t get a “Class 3 License”. There is no such thing.  You pay a transfer tax and purchase an NFA item. There is no license.  The “3″ comes from Title 3 FFL, which is a machine gun DEALER.  Not owner…

So apparently it is now illegal to even TOUCH the majesty that is HK, unless you have a license so special that it doesn’t actuallyEXIST.  So, help me out here, do if a regular person goes to the range and rents a full auto weapon, does he have to get a provisional imaginary license to shoot it?

Holy crap, exercise some critical thinking skills once in awhile.

IF the MP5 was so cheap and you hold it with such disdain, then why whine about not being able to handle one on a forum?  And if the MP5 was such a piece of crap, then why do most tactical teams use one?

Sigh… Okay.  How many tactical (I so hate that word) teams use M4 carbine variants now instead of HK?  Apparently “most” is a subjective term, applied only after an analytic survey of Rainbow Six Vegas 2 loadouts and the covers of Dick Marcinko novels.

Not that I care about the MP5, but I do own a USPC, which is one of the best built handguns on the planet.  Let me enlighten you as to why they are overpriced pieces of shit.  Unlike the Glock, which has a few stamped tool steel parts internally.  All of the HK USP &; USPC internals are EDM wire cut, tool steel parts, that are machined and then heat treated to the A class scale of RC hardness.  Not the C or D class as the overly hyped Austrian counter part. 

Forged in the fires of Mount Doom by the hands of Sauron himself, the HK is the greatest implement of destruction known to man.  HK’s plastic frame isn’t made from petroleum that came from inferior plants millions of years ago, rather the petroleum used for HK’s advanced polymers comes only from the fiercest of T-Rexes. 

Unlike the overly hyped Austrian pistol, HK does not have cheap plastic parts such as the spring loaded bearing, extractor depressor plunger, spacer sleeve, spring cups, firing pin channel liner.  Which will melt and fuse if exposed to too much heat. 

Oh man, you know it is a strange day when I find myself defending Glock…  They’re okay (I put them about equivelent to the HK, only with an easier to use trigger), and I have seen Glocks break, but I’ve never, ever, never seen one melt… Where to you shoot?  Inside a toaster oven?  Have you actually engaged in a gun battle on Mercury?  In Hell?  “Hey, Satan, take that!  click  Oh no! The fires of Hades have melted my spring cup to my firing pin channel liner! NOOOO!”

Thus if you are in a desert situation like Afghanistan or Iraque

Where the &%$@ is Iraque?

you have a great possibility of this pistol malfunctioning on you than a USP. 

Who the hell do you fight in “Iraque”?  Lava men? 

The S.O.C.O.M. uses a USP style pistol on steroids called the Mark 23.

Who is “THE S.O.C.O.M.? Is that like the Artist Formerly Known as Prince?  Do you mean SOCOM, Special Operations Command?  Like the guys that spent a whole bunch of money buying Mk 23s to sit in arms rooms, unused?  Oh man, what about the guys at THE Socom who have 1911s?  He he he… Man, I bet having cool guys carrying an old, metal, American gun blows your mind.

There is a reason that this pistol is used and not a Glock, S&W, Beretta, Colt and such. 

I don’t think this guy really realizes where pistols fit into the grand scheme of warfare, but I wonder how many Beretta M9s have been used lately in comparison to the Mk23?  And too bad the Glock melts in the Fires of Iraque, because somebody might want to tell all those contractor types that mostly hand out Glock 19s.

It’s because none of the other pistols were able to pass their stringent endurance and reliability tests.  To my knowledge, no Glock frame has withstood 30,000 rounds of constant fire with +P ammunition. 

Wow.  That’s amazing information. (wrong, but I guess technically it could be considered information). 


So yes, HK may be overpriced in your opinion, but you do get what you pay for.

Best $500 gun you can get for $800! 

And if you are happy with your Glock or Taurus then I wish you well and happiness. 

And I wish you well in your continuing struggle against your Lava Man oppressors.

But please realize that your disdain for such a well made piece of engineering is only due to your own ignorance of the products.

You got me there.  All those years I sold machine guns, and I never even realized I didn’t have the proper licenses to even let people touch the HKs!   Good thing HK sued all the airsoft companies and people making .22s into oblivion, or some regular civillian might actually, you know, shoot one, or something.

Thank you.

No really, thank you.  I can’t make this kind of stuff up, and whenever I’m out of ideas of things to make fun of on my blog, one of you guys turns up.  What would I do without you?


Lava Man poster, courtesy of Miguel of Gun Free Zone.

Signing stuff

So tonight’s signing was good. I got to hang out with John Brown and Dave Farland, two awesome guys and great writers.  I learned something about Dave tonight.  He was the creative writing instructor at BYU for a long time and has travelled the country teaching writing workshops, that I knew, but what I didn’t realize is that he’s taught something like 300 people who later went on to get published, and has had something like 40 students eventually end up on the NYT bestseller list.  That’s damn impressive.

Tomorrow night is Orem. Saturday is Layton 12-2 and West Jordan 3-5. 

The San Franciso trip is cancelled at the end of the month.

Nov 12th we’ll be at Mysterious Galaxy in San Diego.  Then I think we’ll be in Torrance on the 13th.  (will confirm).  The one in LA on Saturday the 14th has crapped out on us.

So do I have anyone on here who happens to live in the LA area, who works at a bookstore, or happens to really like their local place?  If so, post it here. We’re shaking the trees to find something else on short notice.

The MHI 625 is done

Courtesy of Mike Smith:






Work done by Jim Lowe of Montclair VA.  As David Kantrowitz said in the previous post, there is just something about the 625 that makes you want to shoot a monster in the face. (he has one in his books too).

The Media is a bunch of idiots

So this last week the Whitehouse declared war on FOX News.  Apparently because only 95% of the media outlets give Obama a free pass, if he could just reign in that last 5%, and get them to toe the party line, then everything would be just peachy.

The Whitehouse wants to control all of the media.  

Think about that for just a second. I know that I have people who read this blog who are Democrats.  A sitting president of the US wants to destroy the single dissenting news agency. Doesn’t that scare the crap out of you?

If George Bush’s top people had started having public meetings with Republican leadership about how to hurt CNN, MSNBC, CBS, ABC, NBC, the New York Times, and the Huffington Post, can you imagine the massive institutional freak out that would have caused?  And rightly so.

And yes, Bush sucked too. We know. (and that never gets old as an argument, really) but moving on, gentle Democrat readers, doesn’t the idea of having the Whitehouse stomping on dissenting opinions unnerve you?

On a related note, I’ve heard a lot recently about how it is somehow unfair that FOX’s ratings are so much better than their competitors.  Give me a friggin’ break.  Out of all those highly educated journalists, there wasn’t one person that sat through a business class?  If your market is the American public, and we live in a country that is split roughly down the middle as far as personal beliefs go, and there are, say 20 big media companies… Only 1 company competes for the right 50% while 19 companies compete for the left 50%… What part of that 1 company on the right side getting larger market share comes as a shock exactly? 

Oh, except I forgot that all 20 companies claim that they’re not right or left. They’re all in the middle and totally unbiased… Ha Ha Ha! Man, that’s some funny stuff right there.

The traditional media is losing its viewers and readers by the ton.  Everybody except for FOX is hemorrhaging money. Yet, they’re still too ideologically driven to focus on reality. They’re losing viewers because we’re smarter than they think we are. We’re pretty good at knowing when we are being lied to.  When I can get more realistic reporting from the Onion than from the New York Times, there may be a problem afoot.

Media is a giant joke. The American people know it. Everybody but the media seems to know it. When ACORN was caught on video breaking hundreds of laws in five different cities, the regular news wouldn’t touch it with a ten foot pole. Even though this is an organization that was getting billions of dollars of tax money (and will be again at the end of October, but you didn’t hear that on the regular news either) because it didn’t fit with the ideological prism, then it didn’t get reported.  Thank God for the internet, talk radio, and people still having the ability to talk freely.  Hell, even John Stewart was offended that the media missed this one.

Once again, I’m ahead of the cultural curve. I’ve distrusted and hated the news for a really long time.  As somebody who started out as a child gun nut, it didn’t take too long for me to realize that EVERY SINGLE report or article involving guns was riddled with factual errors, outright lies, mistakes, misstatements, made up stats, and quotes from morons.  I was probably about fourteen years old when I came to the conclusion that if the news got this much stuff wrong about a subject I actually knew about, how much were they screwing up on the topics that I wasn’t familiar with?  (well, now that I’m older, I realize that the answer is ALL.)

Aerial photos showed that there were more people at the big DC tea party than there was at inauguration.   Somehow that was a record crowd of about 1.5 million for Obama’s historic event, but it was like “tens of thousands” of angry right wing crack pots who are too ignorant to want socialized healthcare.  But the media still doesn’t get why we don’t believe them when they say they’re unbiased.

Don’t worry though, when the traditional media finally goes bankrupt, then the government can just bail them out.  I’m positive that nothing bad could possibly come from having a state run media, especially since Obama has packed the Whitehouse staff with communists and people who really look up to Mao.

Tour news and updates

I got some bad news today. Because of some problems with Dave Farland’s scheduling, the San Francisco trip at the end of October has been cancelled.  I’ll still be going to LA and San Diego soon after, but right now, northern California is getting bumped back to a future date.

I spent the last week in Texas. I got home late Sunday, and am just starting to get caught up.  If you’ve sent me a book to get signed, or you ordered any signed books or patches, those are done, and will be going out in the mail tomorrow.

I know a bunch of folks in Texas, and some of you contacted me via e-mail, sorry I didn’t get back to you while I was there, but I was swamped pretty much the entire time.  I was there for training relating to my day job – Finance guy for a government contractor – and I was busy learning all of the various ways that different agencies of the government can give you conflicting orders, all while the other agency is penalizing you, and yet another government agency’s representatives want you to disobey laws set down by yet another different agency… but don’t worry, Obama said that when the government takes over healthcare, it will be more efficient, because they don’t have so much overhead, like profit… Ha Ha Ha!

But again, if you’re in Texas, and you contacted me last week about hooking up, I apologize for not getting back to you.  By Saturday night when I had some free time, I was totally fried, watched a movie, and then ate a hotel pizza and went to sleep.

B Movie Review: Jesus Christ, Vampire Hunter


As an admitted B movie nerd, I’ve seen a lot of low budget flicks.  I review some of them on the blog, and from what I’ve gathered, a couple people actually read these.  I ran into Julie at the Sugerhouse book signing.  I met her last year at MountainCon.  She gave me a DVD, and assured me that it was one of the most amazingly awesome bad movies ever made, and that I absolutely had to review it here on MHN. 

So last night I finally had a chance to pop Jesus Christ, Vampire Hunter, into my player, and Mrs. Correia and I enjoyed a night of the savior using kung-fu to fight vampire lesbians and militant atheists with the help of a masked luchadore on the mean streets of Ottawa…

Wow. I don’t even know where to start.  That description alone should tell you a lot.  Julie was right. For people like me who have that negative gene that makes us crave shaky cam, low budgets, and actors who were paid in beer, this is a must see. In this case, the beer is Canadian, and the giant cast was obviously grabbed from whoever was available, including in the director’s mom.  (no literally, I went back and listened to the commentary).  

The basic plot is that vampires are killing people, so the church calls in their ultimate butt kicker.  Jesus appears to be about 5’2” and has no problem busting out teeth or musical numbers. After getting a hair cut, shave, and his ears pierced, he takes it to the vampires, Canadian style, with lots of badly choreographed fight scenes, dirt bikes, pool cue stabbings, and random bits of awesome.

The main bad guys are the guy who wrote the movie, and a mad scientist who looks vaguely like a young Glenn Beck. His nefarious scheme had something to do with skinning lesbians, so that they could graft the skin onto vampires so they could go out into the sun. (everyone knows lesbians are at least SPF 50). 

Jesus is joined by a few staunch allies, most of who are killed the first time they try to help.  Mary Magnum wears a red velour body suit, for some indecipherable reason, but her kung fu is weak, and she gets bitten quickly.   (on that note, when Mary was getting bitten by the vampire, my wife said “Boy, they’re big on cleavage and straddling.”  My response was “Well, who isn’t?”)

 A couple of priests, including Johnny Nukem from Guitar Hero, get similarly dispatched. Only Santos, the masked wrestler, (a fat guy in a Destro mask) is able to stay the course, kill vampires with tooth picks, and score himself a chunky girl.  God himself also makes a cameo as a bowl of cherry ice cream.

Yes.  As you may have guessed, this is slightly blasphemous.   But in the movie’s defense, it was in good silly fun, instead of that obnoxious self-righteous way movies usually treat Christianity.  (isn’t it ironic that the most holier-than-thou people I’ve ever met have been atheists?)   Anyway, if you judge your religion based on a B movie, or even worse, you get super offended when somebody makes jokes about your beliefs, you’ve got some serious issues.  (You drew a cartoon of Mohammed with a bomb? For that we must blow up your city!!!)  Just enjoy the kung-fu, skateboarding musical numbers, and get on with life.

JCVH had heart. Apparently this movie was made for about nothing, over a two year period, filming on weekends whenever they could get all their friends together. The acting varies from atrocious to okay, but you can tell that they had a lot of fun making this bad boy.  It is cheese, but it is enjoyable cheese.   

Thanks for the DVD. This one rocked.

MHI engraved sideplate for S&W 625



Engraved by Jim Lowe of Montclaire VA.   The owner will send more pics when it is on the gun. Very cool.

I’m on Writing Excuses again, and book signings this weekend

http://www.writingexcuses.com/2009/10/18/writing-excuses-season-3-episode-21-pitfalls-of-self-publishing-with-larry-correia/#comments  Here I talk about the business of self publishing with Brandon, Howard, and Dan.

Thursday the 22nd, I will be at the Logan Utah Borders from 6-8 PM

Friday the 23rd I will be at the Orem Utah Barnes & Nobel from 4-6 PM

Saturday the 24th I’ll be at the Layton Barnes & Nobel from 12-2 PM

Saturday the 24th I’ll be at the West Jordan Barnes & Nobel from 3-5 PM

All of those will be in conjuction with John Brown and Dave Farland.  Swing by and say hi.

On at 7:30, listen to me live on Armed American Radio

http://920wgka.townhall.com/  The time has changed to later. Click on the link, listen live is on the top left.


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