Jib Jab presents He’s Barack Obama


My favorite line is the nuts and corn.

A little prediction on global politics

I was thinking about this for a moment.

Put yourself in China’s shoes. You are a growing superpower. Your greatest competitor, and reigning champ, America, is acting like a drunken doofus, spending money on crap, and wrecking their economy.  The only spending they’ve cut is military stuff (because remember, stimulas money is to create jobs, just not at Lockheed building F22s).

Meanwhile, since the reigning champ is currently being managed by a complete wimp, you’ve got another country in your neighborhood who is getting really lippy. North Korea is run by a lunatic, and is in such bad shape that its people are eating each other like something from Mad Max, and they’re trying to build a nuke program, just to be dicks.  There is zero chance that the reigning champ will do anything about this, except for having its manager apologize to other random scumbags.

So, part of being the world’s superpower is holding the title of World Cop. You can argue the rightness or wrongness of this philosophy from a Libertarian point of view, but it has been this way since the Perry’s Black Ships sailed into Edo.  You get a lot  of perks by being the one with the Big Stick.

So since America won’t take care of North Korea. I’m making a prediction. I think that China will use North Korea as an excuse to flex their muscle, and show that they’re a superpower too. I can see China stepping in once North Korea does something really crazy, offing Elton John (sorry, Kim Jong Ill, get those two mixed up), overthrowing the government, and then spinning it as if they were just doing their duty to make the world a better place… Look, America has been doing it for a century, but now they’re weak, and we’re strong, so it is our turn to shape the world.

The North Korean people traditionally hate the Chinese. But when you’re starving, and the new scumbags in charge are feeding you better than the old scumbags in charge, I think China would be seen as a liberator.

China gains power, prestige, and gets to spin themselves as the goodguys for once on the world stage.  (no argument that Kim’s got WMDs since he’s already detonated some) America looks weak.  Normally when America takes action against another nation, the usual suspects will come out and condemn us. In this case, none of those usual suspects will condemn the Chinese, because China A. owns their debts. B. sells them all their military hardware. C. is the new rising star, and everyone likes to be on the winning team.

This might sound a little crazy now, but check back with me in a year.

Behold the Awesome- MHI logo STI grips

I received a mysterious package in the mail the other day from my buddy Rabbit.  (he’s on MHI Team Texas) He had a little something for my bedside STI. 

Behold the awesome, created by Jim at Getn Grip http://getngrip.com/gallery.htm  They look even better in person.  Thanks, amigo.

Writing Update

We’ve come up with a new title for the second Nightcrawler book. The series is now:

Dead Six

Swords of Exodus

Project Blue

Dead Six is getting closer to having this draft done. We’re doing some revamping now. I’m hoping to start submitting this one soon.  Dead Six is the name of a rogue black operation in the mid-east. Exodus is a pseudo-religious sorta-terrorist organization dedicated to ending slavery (and Swords are their warriors), and Project Blue is a secret plot to change the world, but you’ll have to work up to that.

MHI has been doing really well on Amazon. We’re down to just over a month left before shipping.  I’ve checked every Barnes & Nobel in my region, and they’ve all ordered between 8 and 12 books each, which seems like a decent start. It looks like I’ll be doing book signings at three of them, dates will be posted when I’ve got them.  I might be doing a multi-state mega-roadtrip in October and ending up at the World Fantasy Convention. I’m not sure yet though. My real job is sending me back to San Antonio in October also, so I’ll have to talk to my buddy Rabbit down there and see which book stores I should contact.  (which reminds me, I’ll be posting some pics tomorrow of a present he sent me for my STI! MHI Logo custom grips!) I don’t have the discretionary budget to fly wherever I want (yet) so if my regular job is sending me someplace, I’ll be darned if I won’t squeeze a signing in while I’m there.

MHI:2 is still on the publisher’s desk.

I’m still cranking on the Grimnoir Chronicles. Now that I’ve come up with plots for at least two more books, this one is now called The Grimnoir Chronicles: Hard Magic.  Think of it as Raymond Chandler meets David Eddings and you’ve got the general idea.  This can’t even really be called Contemporary Fantasy, since it takes place on Earth, but in an alternate 1932.  I’m loving this one.

I don’t know if it just my personal politics shining through, but I find it interesting how much the FDR of my world has in common with the Emperor from Star Wars…

The media sucks

I remember a few years ago, when Tony Snow left FOX News to take the job as the White House press secretary. I seem to recall nonstop criticism and snarky comments about how the Republican party was merging with FOX.  I recall all sorts of indignant panty twisting and panic attacks over this.

Well, where are all the complaints now that ABC is going to be doing a special infomercial pitching national health care from the White House?  It is ABC news, from the White House, with no dissenting view points at all, by Barack, for Barack, all about how totally awesome socialized healthcare is going to be, and how this is another massive crisis, that needs a 1,200 page law passed RIGHT NOW that costs over a trillion dollars, but there’s no time to, I don’t know, like read it or something, because it’s a CRISIS!

Hmm…. No double standard at all there. Tony Snow turned out to be a gentlemen that could at least string together a coherent answer, unlike Peter Griffith, pardon me, Robert Gibbs, who’s regular answer is always a variant of: “I don’t know about Topic X, because I haven’t read the New York Times yet today…”

Nope. No bias in the media at all… Like when Barack was giving a recent interview and he whined and whined and whined about how there is this one really mean TV station that doesn’t totally kiss his butt, because Barack only is in bed with NBC, CBS, ABC, CNN, MSNBC, and 95% of the newspapers in the country. If only FOX would climb onto the propaganda train, then he could complete his glorious people’s revolution… Except for pesky talk radio, but they’ll get theirs with the fairness act… and then he’ll need to do something about bloggers, ‘cause we’re just dripping with hate speech.  Give him some time. He’ll think of something.

And I don’t even really like FOX either… But compared to the competition, at least they manage to squeeze a little news in there.

I believe that this was the same interview where our heroic leader managed to kill a fly. This of course shows his strong responses under pressure… It is unknown if Robert Gibbs came out and ate the fly, Renfield style afterward.  (honestly, I was waiting for a giant bullfrog tongue to come shooting out of Rahm Emmanuel’s mouth SNAP! and then the fly would just be gone… look at that dude, something just ain’t right there).

 It is pretty rare for me to watch regular news or read the regular paper. Inevitably, when I do, I’m always left with a feeling of “Really? You’re serious? People really believe this crap?”  Every paragraph, every sentence, every single nuance is carefully sculpted to prop up one argument and dismiss the other.  It isn’t even clever propaganda anymore, it is a ham-fisted love-fest for all things statist.

I missed this episode of 20/20, kind of like how I’ve missed just about every episode of 20/20 for the last decade, but apparently they had one about the absolute futility of letting college students conceal carry handguns as a remedy for mass shootings.  Apparently to show how foolish this is, they devised a simple, fair test. They took some students, gave them Simunitions guns, put them in a fake class room, and did a force on force exercise where a bad guy came in and shot the place up.

Fair right? Except that the student was made to sit in the exact same chair every time. Then the bad guy came in, shot the teacher, then shot that particular armed student.  (because bad guys have Spidey Sense) The student was given a strap holster, usually not even in the right position, under a long t-shirt. Oh, and the bad guy? He wasn’t your typical douche-bag off his Zoloft, it was a police firearms instructor.

Hmm… That’s gonna skew the results just a smidgen. I’ve taught this stuff for a living for a long time, have done force on force training, have shot a lot of competition, and have more simulator time than most cops, and I don’t know if I would have survived. Hell, you could put John McClane in that situation and he’d get shot.  (The main difference is that Bruce Willis would just shrug it off and take care of business).

I’m sure their next episode will show the futility of seatbelts, as they buckle you in, and then push your car off the top of the Sears Tower.  Oh wait, I forgot that this was from the same award winning program that showed the hard hitting facts that Ford trucks will explode if you attach flaming rockets to them. Never mind. I take it back. I’ve been very careful to never strap flaming explosives onto my Explorer ever since.

Back to this “test”, that is why I always sat in the back of the class in college… Well, in reality, I sat in the back for two reasons. Since I carried a full size .45 inside the waistband, if I was on the back row, I could slouch and not worry about anybody behind me seeing it if it popped out from under my shirt, and second, I could fall asleep and it wouldn’t be as rude to the professor. Ahh… college. Good times.

I guess that a couple of the students managed to hit the aggressor before being shot themselves. One managed to hit him in the leg before taking a round to the head. This was also was pointed out as a failure, because since you’re going to die anyway, why would you possibly want to inflict a potentially life ending injury on the bad guy in the process. Say for example, how much worse would Virginia Tech have been if somebody in the first room had shot the scumbag in the leg, and he’d tried to go on his rampage while partially immobilized and bleeding to death?  That would have been bad… because… see, well… Shoot! I’m not a reporter. I’m not stupid enough to come up with a good reason. I’d probably just mumble something about “escalating the violence” and then look smugly at the camera.

3/4 of Monster Hunter International now posted at Baen’s Webscriptions

The first 7 chapters were posted for free. If you purchased the e-book, you could get the first 14 chapters.  If you’ve already purchased, you can now view up to chapter 21. The last 7 should be available next month when the paper books start to ship.


A class act

I would like to publically thank Chris Byrne of http://anarchangel.blogspot.com/ and the people at www.theguncounter.com

Recently I posted about how my writing laptop had gone down because of a bad power supply. Chris offered to send me an old beater laptop so I could keep writing.  Someone else had a power supply locally, so I was taken care of, but in passing I mentioned to Chris that if he still didn’t want that old laptop, I would pass it on to my Dead Six writing partner, Nightcrawler, who was going on active duty.

Well, Chris is a man of his word, only he figured that if this was going to a soldier, then he deserved more than an old beater.  So he posted to the Guncounter to see if any of the guys there would be willing to kick in for upgrades. He did this in secret, hoping to surprise both me and Mike. I found out because I have this habit of googling my name once in awhile.

The men of the theguncounter were very generous. Instead of giving Mike a beater laptop to take, he was given a new laptop that had been totally worked over by technical guru Chris, and with a bunch of extras, like a nice case, power supplies, etc.

That is a remarkable act of genorosity.

And this was before I found out about Chris and his wife’s own financial issues. This is a couple who is selling their entire gun collection to pay legal fees over a custody battle.  Recently I posted about how they were selling cookbooks to try and pay those legal fees. I would strongly encourage my readers to go buy a cookbook. Good folks like this deserve our support.

For the record, I’ve not been in the gun business since 2008

I still see some people get confused about this, and I still get requests for quotes, and availability questions all the time. Just so you all know, I got out of the gun business in 2008. I got out of managment of FBMG back in October 2008, stuck around until Christmas, and then sold my share. I’m not associated with FBMG and haven’t really done much with them since I left.  I have no idea what has gone on in the gun industry for the last six months any more than any other average dude on the internet. So when you ask me what is going on at my old shop, I honestly can’t tell you.

I understand that their building had some structural damage in a storm last week and the roof was damaged. I wish them the best of luck and hope they get that worked out.

Tell me this don’t look amazing – THE HURT LOCKER


Nightcrawler told me about this. Appropriate since he’s currently going to the Army “Don’t touch the Red Wire -NOOOOOOOO! (Huge Explosion)” School.

Tell me that doesn’t look amazing.

More Grimnoir quotes

As some of you already know, I’ve been starting each chapter of the Grimnoir Chronicles with a fake historical quote. This is my little way of throwing in world building without all of that extra messy writing.

Here are the original ones.



Here are a few of the new ones:

My cavalry unit was camped eighty-two kilometers south of the Podkamennaya basin that morning. Despite driving the Green Cossack army back for nearly three months, the Nipponese troops had withdrawn earlier in the week. Their retreat was unexpected, but a welcome chance for us to regroup, tend to our wounds, and fatten our fighting bears on the local reindeer herds. We discovered the reason for the Imperials’ retreat around breakfast. A blue light appeared in the northern sky, rising from the horizon as a pillar, until it disappeared into the clouds. Scouts estimated the disturbance was near the position of our main infantry encampments. Kapitan Kurgan had a pocket watch. He said the disturbance started at exactly 7:00. Flocks of birds and large numbers of forest animals retreated past our camp in the direction opposite the light. At 7:14 the light had grown so bright that it was as if there was a second sun. Then the noise came, like the sound of artillery. The earth shook. All of us were knocked to the ground. The sky split in two and the light turned to fire. The fire grew until the entire north was fire and it came toward us. The hot wind came after the thunder, snapping down all the trees of the forest and flinging our tents. The temperature increased until it was unbearable. Our clothing caught fire and our bears went mad from the pain, turning on their Controllers and rending them. I was thrown approximately two-hundred meters into the river. The water boiled. That is all that I recall.   

Leytenant D. Vasiliev’s animated corpse. Testimony to the Tsar’s Investigative Council on the Tunguska Event. 1908


MAGIC LEADS TO TERROR – City Firemen were unable to contain the FIRE that ripped through a Mar Pacifica estate on Sunday evening until there were only charred remains of the home, belonging to famous big game hunter L.S. Talon. A TERRIBLE DISCOVERY was made once the DEADLY flames were extinguished. So far, SEVEN human bodies have been recovered from the scene. Local residents say that there was a great commotion and much GUNFIRE before the conflagration spread.  RUMOR is that Mr. Talon, was a supporter of MAGIC and was himself an ACTIVE. He has been missing since Sunday and is believed to be amongst the DEAD. 

San Francisco Examiner, 1929.


We now have over a thousand confirmed cases of individuals with these so-called magical abilities on the continent alone. The faculty has descended into a terrible uproar over the proper nomenclature for such specimens. All manner of Latin phrases have been bandied about. Professor Gerard has suggested Grimnoir, a combination of the old French Grimoire, or book of spells, with Noir, for Black, in the sense of the mysterious, for at this juncture the origin of said powers remains unknown. He was laughed down. Personally, I’ve taken to calling them wizards, for the very idea of there being actual magic beyond the bounds of science causes my esteemed colleagues to sputter and choke.

Dr. L. Fulci, Professor of Natural Science, University of Bern, Personal Journal 1852


Why did I join the 1st Volunteers? That’s a tough one. My older brother, Matt, he just liked to fight, figured Germans would serve good as any. My little brother, Jimmy, he was simple. He went wherever we went. Me… I was the one that liked to ponder on stuff. Roosevelt did like he did before with the Rough Riders. My daddy was a Rough Rider in Cuba. President Wilson didn’t want him to go, but General Roosevelt wanted to prove that Actives were good for the country. Got himself killed in the process. Never did like his politics, too Progressive for me, but I’d follow that man into battle anytime. Lousy politician, great leader… Sorry. The question… Why’d I go? I guess I felt a duty to show that Actives could be the useful… that we could be the good guys… I was a fool.

Jake Sullivan, Parole Hearing, Rockville State Penitentiary 1928


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