Questions for the wisdom of the internets

1. Does anybody have a picture of the prototype Browning BAR from the 1950s that was in bullpup format?

I heard such a thing existed, so I need to see it!

2. Is it true the new KneeCapping Trade bill includes a provision where you have to get your home inspected for environmental stuff before you can sell it, unless your mortgage is from Fanny or Freddy?

Got this on the radio, but unconfirmed, because you know, nobody in congress could bother to actually read a 1300 page bill with the largest tax increase in history that will destroy two million jobs, break the dollar, and assure China’s place as the world’s superpower for the next generation, before they voted.

3. Does anybody actually care about Michael Jackson?

Seriously. Shut up already.

4. Do my blog postings seem “angry”, or “full of hate”, or “maniacal”, or do I have “right wing-extremist” views, Or am I “a bitter rasist” (no, that’s how they spelled it) whenever I post about politics?

All from actual e-mails. The really nasty ones get marked as spam. And actually, if you aren’t angry right now, then you haven’t been paying attention. So yes, I am angry. I’m not however “Rasist”. I do not, nor have I ever worshiped the Babylonian sponge-god Ras. Way too much flagellation and scourging for my tastes, but if you’re into that whole invertebra romance thing, it isn’t my place to judge.

5. Is global warming sorry, climate change, such a bad thing if it turns Utah into Seattle (in a good way, with lots of rain, not hippes)?

We had record rain fall in June. This is the greenest I’ve ever seen this brown state, which is kind of a brownish-green at best, but hey, I’ll take it. Plus my garden is looking awesome. Or I should say, my wife’s garden, because I’m only good for killing things and having allergy attacks. I actually have a black thumb. I don’t garden. I execute plants by condemning them to a slow withering death until they are devoured by snails.

On that note, it is so cute when your kids are well read, but haven’t heard how the words are pronounced. So when I was surveying all the snails my wife poisoned, I asked my daughter if she knew that the French ate snails, and she answered, “Yes, they called it Escargets.”

6. Government sponsored health care… Seriously… WTF?

No comment. Too filled with maniacal hate-rage-malice and blood shooting form my eyes getting all over keyboard. Maybe I should get that looked at, but then I’d have to stand in line for six years so a doctor imported from Baluchistan could shake some chicken bones over me or something.

 7. Do I really look that much like James Gandolfini?

I got this one. Yes.

Anybody seen the Mexican? The one where he plays a gay hitman? Yep. I look just like him in that one. Only I’m neither gay, nor a hitman, but that’s pretty much what I look like. I also bear a suspicious resemblance to the big guy who did the Donkey Show in Clerks II. MadOgre called me at home three seconds after the movie was over and told me I had to rent it.

So yes, I look like a donkey-molesting mafia don.

8. Have any of the geniuses in congress paused to think that something like, I don’t know, ALL medical breakthroughs have come from people inspired by profit, and most of those have come from America, and that the world’s medical research will pretty much end once we have Socialized Health Care?

I can’t answer this one, but look at the words Socialized Health Care… doesn’t that seem oxymoronic? You don’t really think of Care and Socialism going together. I think that the only medical research Stalin supported was that thing where he tried to breed a Super-Ape Army.  The only thing socialists “care” about is staying in power.

9. If you could clone one Founding Father, and stick him in congress, who would it be?

I don’t know… which one shot Hamilton?

Tough question. I think philosophically I would like John Adams, but the time for reasoned discourse might be past, and it would be really fun to watch Sam Adams punch Harry Reid in the face, then bust out the tar and feathers.

10. And finally, Monster Hunter International vs. My Little Pony in a grudge match to the death! WHO WILL WIN?

I don’t know, but if it was directed by Michael Bay, there would be lots of explosions.

14 Responses

  1. It was Aaron Burr that shot Alexander Hamilton. You might remember that from the “Got Milk” commercial several years ago.

  2. http://tiny.cc/larrymexican

    OK, I’ll post something significant when I am done laughing

  3. Aaron Burr also single handedly, as VP ( and President of the Senate ) impeached damned near all of Hamilton’s Federalist appointees to the circuit courts.

    He almost ended up as president, when one faithless Elector switched his vote from Jefferson to Burr … order was restored when an Adams Elector deliberately switched to Jefferson to undo the Burr supporter’s coup attempt.

    Burr was also involved in a conspiracy to invade and conquer Mexico for the US … and was alive long enough to say “I told you so” when Texas became independent.

  4. Hmmm… I wonder what the US would be like if we had taken over Mexico.

    I’m willing to bet Mexico would have been a whole lot better off as a bunch of US states for the last two hundred years.

  5. Cloning any anti-Federalist right now couldn’t hurt. I am thinning Patrick Henry. If for nothing else, he could stand before congress and say “Neener! Needer! I warned you this is how it would turn out!”

    Larry, I never saw you as a James Gandolfini type, but I’ve never seen you without facial hair, either.

  6. Heck, at this point you could put the big Alexander Hamilton in there himself, and he’d be stunned by where we’ve gone.

    Bo, I haven’t shaved since my mission, except for the day I got married. :)

    Kristopher, I just spent the last hour reading Burr related stuff off the internet. I knew the fundamentals, but the bit with Texas, the treason trial, and the fact that the original governor of Louisiana territory was a Spanish spy was all new to me. Man, I so love history.

  7. it always come down to Texas in the end

  8. Was the Terminator a founding father? Cause I think he’d be the best one to drop right in the middle of congress…

  9. OK, I am still stuck with the Gandolfini thing. So courtesy of the ultra left wingers at LOLCats I present you Gandolfini v Correia

    http://tiny.cc/f540D

    PS: As for presidents, I have to go with Teddy R.

  10. He’s not a Founding Father, but it would be interesting to have Andrew Jackson drop it, wouldn’t it?

  11. If I could put one person in charge of our government, it’d be Thomas Jefferson. I don’t think he’s enough of an orator to make much difference as a mere congressman, though. So, I’d probably go with Ben Franklin. He’s almost universally recognized as a fountain of wisdom.

  12. 2. Is it true the new KneeCapping Trade bill includes a provision where you have to get your home inspected for environmental stuff before you can sell it, unless your mortgage is from Fanny or Freddy?

    I don’t know about the FM/FM part, but read section 202 of the bill. It’s there.

  13. “Maybe I should get that looked at, but then I’d have to stand in line for six years so a doctor imported from Baluchistan could shake some chicken bones over me or something.”

    Wow your health care provider sucks. I thought socialized health care was bad, but yours tops that by a long shot.

    and yes I know what he might.

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