I’m a famous bigot on the internets

http://2cents.dailyreckoning.com/viewtopic.php?t=40142

My favorite part is how “FBMG are a bunch of mormon racist ****ing assholes. **** them. I hope Obama sends them to the welfare line.”

Groovy. I wasn’t aware of my racist tendancies. My immediate family that checks the “Other” box on all of our government forms is going to be surprised by this development.  Only 1/3 of the current ownership of FBMG is actually “white”. (which is an idiotic term perpetuated by liberals to keep themselves important, really it is more of an off pink, and I’m all about the light-brown power) My heritage is “questionable” and we’ve got a hispanic. (and for the record, less than half of the people that work here are Mormon, and for some of those, the term can only be used in the loosest sense)

I think that this is an example of one of those classical things where if you disagree with somebody on the internet, then you must be racist or a nazi. I managed to get both of those assigned to me in that thread in a matter of seconds. Good old liberal champions of free speech. The only time I have any nazi tendancies is when I play Call Of Duty 5, because the FG42 friggin’ rocks and I kick butt with it. 

If you’re going to try and make fun of somebody, at least put some effort into it, you lazy bastards.

By the way, our Saiga .308 mags are the ones that work just fine. The Gen One mags were too tight, but we bumped them out on the next gen and turned the springs pressure up 15% and haven’t had one fail for a long time. 

Yeah, us poor loony storm-trooper gun nuts… (and why the hate for storm troopers? I see the 501st at all the sci-fi conventions, and they’re a perfectly nice bunch)

I don’t know why in the world we could possibly assume that Barack Obama will do anything negative to the gun industry, despite the fact that the new attorney general was the #2 to the woman that waged non-stop war on the gun business for eight years, congress is run by a lunatic that wants to ban guns, Barack has said he wants to bring back the federal assault weapons ban, you can read the text of HR 1022 that didn’t get out of committee to see exactly what the democrat wishlist is, and the vice-president is the man that actually wrote the last ban…

Yeah… we’re just paranoids.  Silly, silly gun nuts.

But I do have some news for the people that take issue with me. I’m not just selling guns to racist stormtrooper hillbillies. I’m selling guns to everybody. My customer base looks more like America than Barack Obama’s cabinet. I’ve sold guns to people who don’t speak English. I’ve sold guns to Asians, Blacks, Hispanics, Arabs, Mormons, Catholics, Muslims, Buddists, Wiccans, Lesbians, a Democrat state legislator, the head of a union that supported Obama, and your momma. 

Self defense is a human right.  Ironically it is the so-called champions of freedom and diversity and acceptance that want all of us to be defensless and dependant on the teat of government to protect our sorry asses.  It isn’t just people like me that are worried about having guns banned. I’ve sold piles of guns to brand new people recently. People who have never in their life thought about it, but are worried now. I’ve sold guns in the last month to HIPPIES. I didn’t even know we had those anymore!  

Everybody needs guns. 

You got a problem with that?

Too damn bad. Because we’re going to keep selling them as long as we can.

20 Responses

  1. Thank You – Well Said.

  2. Anyone who’s met you can’t call you a racist. Sarcastic, sure, but not racist. Intimidating maybe, because you’re big, but not racist.

  3. Ok, so maybe it’s the Porter Rockwell side of me coming out but what the hell does being Mormon have to do with anything. Thats one of those “say it to my face” type of comments. I say we drop them in the middle of the Iraqi Red Zone with a sign that says ” American Terror Hunter” and see how long he lasts.

  4. Plenty of hippies out here in the Pacific North Wet … they are just thin on the ground in Utah.

  5. Congratulations on your fame!

  6. I can’t do anything but laugh at the clowns on the interwebz who can’t make their point without four-letter words. Don’t get me wrong, I love four-letter words, but I can make a good point without them. Of course, when I publish online, I AM making a point. That guy obviously had no such motivations.

  7. Wow, does this mean I’m a bigot by association?

    Seriously, Larry, when you have left wing hacks issuing shill denouncements that you’re a RAAAAAAACIST!, it means you’re going places.

    Think about it, my friend. You’ve been the subject of a liberal Two Minutes Hate. You have ARRIVED.

    There’s GOT to be a way we can use this to sell books.

    For those of you who don’t know, Larry isn’t white. His father is a dark-skinned Portugese immigrant and his mother was born in Africa. He lived for two years in inner-city Birmingham, literally in the proverbial Hood, which is two years longer than anyone in President-Elect Obama’s budding administration has spent in the inner city.

    But facts never get in the way of anyone’s ignorant assumptions, do they?

    I heard someone once suggest that a new gun rights organization should be fielded to replace the NRA, becuase the NRA tends to poll negatively with certain people.

    “Why?” I asked. “Any new gun rights organization formed will immediately be branded as racist, regardless.” The person I was discussing this with conceeded the point.

    Accusations of racism are the easiest way to shut down an opponent in American politics today. It’s like the dreaded McCarthyism, except this time, the witch hunters have Hollywood on their side.

    I’ve heard people suggest that now that Barack Obama will be President, we’ve turned the corner on racial tensions and things will be better from now on.

    LOLZ, as the kids say. Not a fucking chance. The racial demagogues who make a living seeding dischord will never let it go. The political hacks who use accusations of racism as a weapon will never let it go.

    No, quite the contrary, I think we can look forward to any criticism of the Obama Administration being immediately labeled as “racist”, both by Administration officials and by a compliant, sycophantic press.

    Oh, and “Stormtrooper Hillbillies” brings to mind a very comical image.

  8. When hippies are buying guns, you know the gun culture has arrived at… something.

  9. Nice, Godwin’d in the second post!

    Anthony: If the gun culture can turn a hippie into a real person, I’d call that “something” for sure.

  10. Awww, Larry’s not that big. ;)

  11. [quote]Stormtrooper Hillbillies[/quote]

    Theseuns ain’t the droids we’s lookin fer ya’ll! Go on, git!

    Something tells me this is going to be in a future book.

  12. That there blaster rifle hangin’ over the fireplace – that was my grandpappy’s, from the Clone Wars…..

  13. Hippies aren’t people. Everyone knows that. They’re really a form of anthropomorphic algae that survive primarily on tetrahydrocannabinol, “organic” produce, and Starbucks.

    Here are some helpful tips to remember:

    -For every one hippie you see, there several, if not dozens, that you don’t.

    -Remember to air out your garage and basement every spring to ensure you don’t have an infestation.

    -If you DO have an infestation, the best remedy is the repetitious playing of loud Death Metal or other hard rock. (Disturbed, Slayer, and Drowning Pool are all effective.) Remember, Hippies cannot, and will not, “thrash”.

    -Hippie drum circles can expand quickly. If you find yourself surrounded by one, flee immediately, and do not delay. The largest recorded drum circles have been almost four miles in diameter.

    -If you find yourself accosted by Hippies, do not panic. Remain calm. They might tell you that they “love you, man” and at they have a song that you “totally have to listen to”. Do not be fooled. Hippies reproduce parasitically. If they offer you a “joint” or a “blunt” and suggest that you “toke/light it up”, simply reply that you’ll “fuck up the roatation” and tell them you have “the munchies”. This will usually distract them long enough for you to escape. Alternatively, throwing bags of Cheetos, Doritos, or various types of sandwiches will usually draw them off.

    -If this method doesn’t work, you may be required to use force. Do not be concerned if this is the case. While there are strict limits on taking Hippies in California, they’re considered nusiance animals in several western states. They can be culled without a license in Nevada, Arizona, Wyoming, Idaho, Texas, and in several counties in Colorado. Additionally, the State of Utah offers a Hippie Bounty on each Hippie Ear turned into the county Game Commissioner. Currently, $20.00 per ear is offered, as with coyotes.

    HTH

  14. My guess is that “storm troopers” refers back to the Nazis again, not to Star Wars.

    They did, after all, invent the term, and Lucas copied it from them, quite intentionally.

    (Though, on the other hand, someone who can’t tell a plural from a possessive ["Storm troopers" is plural. "Storm trooper's" is possessive.] might not have that clear of a grasp of history.)

  15. “I think that this is an example of one of those classical things where if you disagree with somebody on the internet, then you must be racist or a nazi.”

    “Reducio ad Hitlerum” (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reductio_ad_Hitlerum).

    “It is a variety of both questionable cause and association fallacy. The phrase reductio ad Hitlerum was coined by an academic ethicist, Leo Strauss, in 1953. Engaging in this fallacy is sometimes known as playing the Nazi card.[1][2]“

  16. [...] Larry: But I do have some news for the people that take issue with me. Im not just selling guns to racist stormtrooper hillbillies. Im selling guns to everybody. My customer base looks more like America than Barack Obamas cabinet. Ive sold guns to people who dont speak English. Ive sold guns to Asians, Blacks, Hispanics, Arabs, Mormons, Catholics, Muslims, Buddists, Wiccans, Lesbians, a Democrat state legislator, the head of a union that supported Obama, and your momma. [...]

  17. I disagree with the term “gun nuts”. The word means someone who isn’t quite right in the head.
    Is this what the author wants people to think about him?
    A “gun owner” or “gun fancier” is much more appropreate a term and doesn’t bring to mind someone who might “go off his rocker” and start shooting at random.

  18. HEY! I used to be a hippie! Easy man! Course, I was the only hippie I knew who carried a 1911 and a bowie knife! Got a bit dicey with the peace and love crowd. “hey, whats that, a bong?” “no, darlin’, it’s a .45″. ”
    Seriously here, hippie is a sort of term like “liberal”, it does not mean what it used to . I can recall the original “Whole Earth Catalog” had a section on GUNS- Yes, those evil lead-chucking devil machines. See, hippies come in several types- ya got the weenie whiner city types , but there are also some “back to the land “types as well, these days they can easily be confused with survivalists, and can also successfully co-exist with the same. In some cases they ARE the same, as the “back to the land ” process has an extreme winnowing effect.
    So go easy on ‘em, you may be able to turn them around!

  19. “Is this what the author wants people to think about him?” I’ve got ample history of not really caring much about what most people think about me…

  20. Tee hee. Relax, I was jus’ funnin’. I have a good friend who describes herself as a “hippie”, and she also carries a Colt .45.

    Most of my material came from a single episode of South Park, entitled, “Die, Hippie, Die!”.

    Cartman: “I’ve been keeping this town safe from Hippies since I was five and a half.”

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