Gun Sales up ten billion percent

I haven’t posted since right after the election. That’s because every single person in America has decided to go buy an AR15, AK47, or other evil black rifle. Apparently nobody with two brain cells to rub together bought into how Barack is now a friend of the 2nd Amendment.

Sales have been… well… brisk.  Maybe a better word would be insane.

We’ve sold out of everything three times over, and we’re bringing in more guns as fast as we can find them and call in favors. If you’re waiting for something, let’s put this in perspective. I talked to Stag the day before the election and they had received orders for 6,000 rifles in the last few days. They were out 4 weeks, and that was before Barry the Community Organizer assumed his rightful place at the left hand of Satan.

RSR, largest wholesaler of firearms in America has nothing in stock. Nothing. No semi auto 5.56, 7.62×39, or .308 guns. No Kel-Tecs, no Colts, no Bushmasters, no Sigs, no FNs, zip, bupkis. We’re backordering product like crazy and taking orders.

I found 5 DPMS AP4s yesterday and picked them up from a local cop shop. I brought them into the shop around 3:00, put them on the bound book, and the last one was sold by 6:00.  In that same timeframe I sold 2 Sig 556s, a Colt sporter, an Olympic plinker, 2 WASRs, a Golani, an AK made out of railroad ties and plywood by a Pakistani over a campfire from the Khyber Pass, an Airsoft gun, and traded 2 chickens and a bag of rice for a goat. It was a very busy afternoon.

The phone rings constantly. 10 seconds after you put the phone down, it is another person, asking the same question I’ve already answered 6,782,872 times since Tuesday. NO. I DO NOT KNOW WHAT IS GOING TO GET BANNED.  Have these people not been paying attention? Did this catch them by surprise?  They’ve only been campaigning for 2 years now. 

Our custom gun wall has become the Barack Obama Memorial Layaway wall as we’re trying to find a place to stash all the guns that have been people put money down on until they get paid again. The only part of the economy that is booming is gun sales, or at least, until Comrade Chairman Obama shuts us all down and we become the FBMG Teddy Bear Hospital and Scented Candle Emporium.

Some folks still make me laugh. I love the guys who call and ask how long it will take to get a DPMS AR10 custom with cryo barrel chambered in .267 Huffalump Magnum.  They get offened when I tell them that I have no earthly idea. Why, yes sir, I’m sure DPMS is just cranking those out in a time when people are selling their organs and children to get a shot at a rusty Kel-Tec SU16 that’s missing its bolt carrier.

People have been calling me, wondering if I have heard anything about their particular backorder. The one problem with that is that I’m now to the point where I’ve got literal tons of stuff on backorder. And the wholesalers and manufacturers are so busy scrambling that they haven’t taken the time to update me on your one particular gun.

I’m hiding in my office for ten minutes while I type this and suck down a beef chimichunga, just waiting for the guys to notice I’m missing and start sending me more phone calls. If you’ve sent me an e-mail, I’m sorry. I haven’t been able to check them for a couple of days. I’ll get back to you as soon as I can, which right now is looking like probably January…  2012… When we swear in Sarah Palin.

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 8,548 other followers