Baen edition of Monster Hunter International, now available for preorder on Amazon

The Baen version of MHI is now available for preorder on Amazon. The book will not be available until Summer of 2009, but now is your chance to get in line.

I’m really hoping to get the stats up for MHI:1. The better MHI:1 sells, the more likely I am to get a contract for MHI:2. The more copies I can presell, the better my stats will look.  So if you’re an Monster Hunter fan, and you’ve been planning on getting another copy, why wait until July? You might as well order it now, that way publishers will be all like “Wow, that Larry Correia gets on best seller lists before the book is even released! I need to buy all his books! He’s the bestest author ever!” Or something like that.

So start ordering!

Tell your friends. Spread the word. Tired of people bugging you for your $200 original copy of MHI? Tell them to get their own! If you’ve got a blog, please let people know. Owen Zastava Pitt needs your help. All of those monsters aren’t going to kill themselves. Every day that you don’t order a copy of the Baen version of MHI, transdimensional sky-squids will eat a sack of puppies… and that just ain’t cool.

We The Armed, about to hit 1,000 members

We should be hitting 1,000 members in the next couple of days. That’s pretty awesome.

The board is growing and I like the vibe. It is pretty laid back and comfy. So far, so good.

Coldplay in concert

On Saturday night after the Gunshow From Hell 2008 my wife and I went to the Coldplay concert in Salt Lake. I had gotten some free tickets, shout out to 101.9 The End.  I was not a Coldplay fan, but Mrs. Correia loves them.


I wasn’t expecting much, as I’d heard their music, and it seemed kind of sedate. Live however, they were absolutely awesome. It was one of the better shows that I had seen.  They were energetic and fun. At one point the band went out and played a couple of songs in the audience. We were about five feet away for that bit. Mrs. Correia noted that the bouncers kept an eye on me because apparently I was the scariest looking person in touching distance.


I was so not a Coldplay fan that I actually didn’t even know they were from until they spoke. ( “Hey, I didn’t know they were English” and all the fans around me look at me like I’m stupid) I’d have to say that I’m a fan now though. The last time I had an experience like this was with Radiohead, not that they were English, I knew that, I just wasn’t expecting much, and instead got an absolutely awesome show.


And that was despite the lousy acoustics of the Energy Solutions Arena. That building has the worst sound of anyplace I’ve ever heard a concert. A wall of thunder descends from the ceiling and bludgeons your ears the entire time. You get a sound like a lumbering brontosaurus bouncing off the walls and they still managed to sound good.


The first opening act was a band from Texas called Sleeper Car. They were pretty good. Then the second opening act sucked beyond all comprehension. I don’t know what the guy’s name was, and that’s probably a good thing, because I’d be cursing it right now.


Basically it was some sort of 30 minute techno song/performance video.  The cartoon reminded me of Adult Swim’s Super Jail, only Super Jail is more interesting, and it is over in less time. It had this repetitive beat that would die down, and we would all cheer, thinking that it was actually over, then Fooooooom  Foooooom it would start again. Then weird cartoons would play flashing colors and words like FANTASY and crap like that. Since I hadn’t eaten any psychedelic mushrooms and still have all of my frontal lobe intact, I didn’t really get anything out of it.  I got bored and went and got a $4.00 coke so I missed the big finale. Thank goodness.


So the opening act was good, the next act was painful, and the main show was excellent. Overall, it was a great night.  Coldplay surprised the hell out of me.


This weekend was the Gunshow From Hell ’08. If you read my earlier post, Gun Sales Up Ten Billion Percent, or you don’t live in a cave, you may be aware that guns sales are up a smidgen. As in, sell your kidney and you might be able to get a stripped lower receiver made in Pakistan.


The FBMG crew was in our regular spot. Unlike most of the other dealers, our prices were the same as usual. We decided not to sexually violate our customers with a Garden Weasel just because we could.  Basically if somebody had an AR15 in stock, it was because they were charging too much. We saw basic Bushhamsters for $1,500, WASRs for $1,000, and my personal favorite, a stripped Stag lower receiver for $499. (One of my Minions had to take a picture of that one and ask the dealer how he could sleep at night)


Our prices are basically the same as before the election. Worst case scenario on guns we were getting on backorder was MSRP. We took orders for hot items, like AR15s, and had people put 1/3 down to get in line. That means 15-20 weeks right now, but that beats getting violated with aforementioned Garden Weasel.


We did an absurd amount of business. Saturday was the biggest single sales day that FBMG has ever had, and after Election Week, that’s saying a lot. I went to rock concert Saturday night. The gunshow was more crowded.  My booth was standing room only for most of the day.


The mood was kind of panicky. Some people were cranky, bossy, pushy, and obnoxious, and at gunshows, that’s usually just the dealers. I’ve never had so many people rudely interrupt me while I’ve been helping another customer as I did on Saturday. “HEY! Ya gots any Rock Rivers!” No, douchebag, and get your ass back in line while I help this other person that was ahead of you.


A market like this brings out the worst in some people. We have a bunch of belt fed machine guns in 7.62x54R. One ammo wholesaler had a ton of that in stock, so we went over first thing in the morning and bought it all. Hey, belt feds suck up the ammo! Well, some guys standing in line behind us actually got angry with us for DARING to buy up that much ammo.  Hey, welcome to the party dude. I’m sorry you waited until after the election of an America hating socialist to stock up, but that’s how it is. Buddy, if you want strict rationing… well, wait until Barack destroys the economy and everything gets rationed… never mind. That’s just too depressing.  


Overall, fear of what the Democrats are going to do has driven the gun buying public into a frenzy. We got so sick of people asking what Barack is going to do that on Sunday we brought in a Magic 8 Ball to answer the question. Every time somebody asked us that same question, we would just whip out the ball. “Is Obama going to ban guns?” “Answer is unclear…” “Is ammo going to get taxed?” “Definitely yes.” So on and so forth.


Ironically though, the first time we used Magic 8 Ball, somebody asked if we were going to lose the 2nd Amendment and Magic 8 Ball said “You’re F*****!” I didn’t even know that was an option on there, scary prophetic little ball.


If anybody has a big poster of Barack Obama you want to mail me, I’m going to put it on the wall of my shop with a sign that says Salesman Of The Year. But then again, if you read this blog, I’m assuming that if you’ve got a picture of Barack on hand it is either taped to the bottom of a urinal or is serving as your dart board. I probably couldn’t put up such a poster because my customers would deface my wall, and probably burn the store down in the process.


I was exhausted by the time we got done Sunday night. Luckily, it took us literally 1/3rd of the time to unload compared to loading because we’d moved so much product. We had left a couple of guys at the shop, one to teach a class, and one to answer phones. We’d cleaned the store out of inventory and iNick still managed to sell like $4,000 worth of stuff. I was like “What did you sell?” and he was like “I don’t know!”


It was a remarkable gunshow. I’m interested to see how the January Pre-Inauguration Day Gunshow goes. I’m hoping to get a picture of a $5,000 Olympic Arms or something. I don’t care how desperate you guys might be to stock up, just avoid that Garden Weasel.

Ikea… Sweadish for Wait In Line

One of my kids broke my wife’s decorative wall mirror. I’ve got to hand it to them. Usually when one of them does something bad, the other two rat them out instantly.  All three are staying mum as to who did it. So either one of them is calling in favors, they really don’t know who broke it, or they all broke it together. I’m figuring #3.

We couldn’t just replace it with a regular mirror, because my wife built a decorative wall hanger thingy. (I don’t know, she watches those housy shows and is way more constructive than I am) so we have to have the exact same size mirror.

So my wife dispatched me to Ikea. We have an Ikea directly across the freeway from FBMG, so it was supposed to be easier for me to pick up a new Kolja. I love how everything at Ikea has a weird name, like it isn’t 32″ round mirror, it is a Kolja. You can also purchase Lofkas, Brimpas, Huffalumps, Skordingers, and Fragglerocks. If I was writing an epic fantasy novel sword and sorcery kind of thing, I would just use the Ikea catalog to come up with names.  I bet Dungeon Masters everywhere keep a copy of that thing handy. “Random encounter, (rolls dice) Barbarians! And the leader’s name is… (flips pages) Kraghor! Kraghor of… Fricka!”

At lunch I entered Ikea and wandered through the warehouse from Indiana Jones for forty-five minutes looking for mirrors. Women really like Ikea, but I just don’t get it. Now if I was single however, I would totally hang out here, because this is apparently where all of the good looking women in their thirties are. Which makes sense, since Mrs. Correia is in her thirties, and is smoking hot. Yes, I am that lucky. It is good to be king.

So as I’m wandering through this mega store (Yes, Sir, the Koljas are across from the Oderslipins and the Octopussies, turn left when you enter the Gnome Kingdom and follow Fafnir the Wolf to Odin’s Throne. They’re beneath the hooves of Trumpflarn the Magic Unicorn) and I finally pick up the mirror, walk the 2 kilometers (It is a European store, so it is metric) to checkout, only to discover that even though there are 50 cash registers, there are exactly 3 open. And all 3 of them are the self-checkout lines.  Sweet! European style efficiency! I usually have to go to Walmart for this kind of service!

This is the LAST place that anybody should have to try to do a self checkout.  So I’m standing in line behind 300 attractive women and 4,000 screaming kids who are moving piles of furniture trying to find the barcode on a sofa (sorry, a Flugsnor), and we’re all waiting on a grandma who can’t figure out how to input her Grippen or her Luffapo (which I personally thought was an illegal sex act from Thailand, which shows how out of touch I am with the Ikea world!).  It was a painful wait.

If you can afford a six million square foot warehouse, then you can open another damn cash register. I don’t care if all your employees have birdflu, somebody get out here and find the friggin’ barcode on grandma’s Luffapo, now damn it!   

So it took me over an hour to buy a $20 mirror. Unnaceptable Ikea! Your Viking forfathers would be so offended that they would pillage many villages for that!  I’m so offended that I won’t be shopping at Ikea again. (which doesn’t really say anything, since I’ve only been there once before when it opened because my wife dragged me along, and my son wandered off and became Ikea of Utah’s first Code Adam missing child. We found him beating up another three year old over control of one of those games with the little sliding blocks of wood, so I bought him some meatballs)  So no more Ikea for me.

Well, at least until my wife makes me go pick up something else.

Question: Should we bail out the auto industry?

This question was raised on  So I put some thought into it.

Bail out the auto industry?

Let me put it this way. When you have a company that is contractually obligated to pay $75 an hour to the guy who SWEEPS THE FLOOR… you deserve to FAIL.

Let me rephrase.

FAIL! Damn it! Go to hell, go to hell and die!

I’m sick and tired of this crap.

The argument for strategic industry is one thing, but it is fundamentally flawed. The days of Detroit flipping over and turning out Sherman tanks are gone. If the auto industry tried to tool up for wartime production our new tank would be the M2 NADER, which blows for combat but gets 32 miles on the highway, and three Iranians and an angry goat driving a ’75 Toyota pickup truck (that’s still running) could burn a fleet of them.

Screw it. The unions raped the auto industry. It is time for a reboot.

In a true capitalistic society, these companies would croak, then somebody else would come along, learn from their mistakes, and buy their assets. Then you would have a new and improved industry. That method has only worked since the invention of freedom and money, but hey, let’s try this new way, ’cause this Marx guy seems pretty cool!

Bailing out banks is stupid. Bailing out AIG is stupid. Bailing out Detroit is stupid. I’m sick of stupid. George Bush, you suck more every day. Nancy Pelosi, it is impossible for you to suck anymore, as you are the baseline of all suck.

Review threads for Monster Hunter International

Okay, this is weird, but I’m posting this to my blog for a reason. I got a request for a list of non-Amazon reviews and posts about MHI. (39 reviews and still at 5 stars) For the last few days I’ve been trying to e-mail a list of links, but the e-mail just will not go through. I don’t know if my e-mail will only allow a message with a certain number of links, or what, so I’m going to post the list here.

Giant review thread on THR:

Gun Free Zone:

Mojo Philter:

Uncle Hugo’s:

Daddy, Disasters, and Dragons:

Cowtown Cop:

Lawdog Files:

Madogre discussion forum:

Goodread’s discussion thread:

Glock Talk:

Bayou Renaissance Man:

Writing projects update

Somebody asked me on WTA what I was working on now. I’m not the kind of guy that works on just one thing. I kind of jump around, fueled by 64 oz Vanilla Cokes from 7-11 (and I don’t use the sissy vanilla, I go over to the coffee bar and squirt in 10 squirts of the French vanilla syrup, because that’s how I roll) Here is what I’m currently working on. With luck, most of these will see the light of day.

Right now I’ve got plans for the following MHI projects:

MHI:2 (from O.Z.P.) Rough Draft Done
MHI:3 (from O.Z.P.) storyline is done, not written
MHI:Alpha (from Earl) storyline is done, not written
MHI:Nemesis (from Franks) only exists as loose notes
An anthology of short stories from various other authors, and two from me, the origin stories for Holly and Trip
The MHI Employee Handbook (a collection of helpful essays for new Hunters)

In addition, I just wrapped up a screenplay called Void which I’m pitching to a local production company. They’re right down the road and have sold a few movies.  If they don’t pick it up, I’m going to show it around. It isn’t in the MHI universe, but it should be. It is a tale of mad science, alternative realities, and shape shifting monsters. I wrote the effects scenes to go along specifically with the kind of effects this local company is capable of doing. I’m digging it, and hope I can get it made into an actual movie.

There is a basic plot outline for a screenplay set in the MHI universe. I’m saving that one. It is the story of the TV news show Primeline, and their special episode where they investigate a day in the life of a professional monster hunter, then of course, it all goes horribly wrong.

Right now I am working on the revised actual book version of the Mr. Nightcrawler trilogy, the first of which appeared in rough draft form on THR.  It is an epic thriller written by me and NC. It is the only story that I’ve ever seen with two seperate writers, both writing their own protagonist in the first person, and these guys do not get along, up to and including a knife fight.  We’ve created an epic story of espionage, thievery, betrayal, destruction, war, revolution, murder, love, and redemption.  I’m as proud of it as anything I’ve ever written. 

We’re revamping Book I now. My part is probably 80% done.  My part of Book II is probably 70% done. The story for Book III is done, but no writing yet. Once we get I polished up, we’ll be farming it around looking for a publisher. I should be able to find someone now that I’ve actually got a resume as a professional type author person.

Once the Nightcrawler trilogy is wrapped up, I’m either writing MHI:3, or working on another project that’s been killing me to write for a year now. It is part sci-fi, part thriller, part action-adventure, part social-commentary. I can’t go into too many details on this one yet, but I’m as excited about this idea as I’ve been for anything I’ve ever thought of. It is the story of a reality TV show where the contestants compete to overthrow a country in a violent military coup.  Live.

Gun Sales up ten billion percent

I haven’t posted since right after the election. That’s because every single person in America has decided to go buy an AR15, AK47, or other evil black rifle. Apparently nobody with two brain cells to rub together bought into how Barack is now a friend of the 2nd Amendment.

Sales have been… well… brisk.  Maybe a better word would be insane.

We’ve sold out of everything three times over, and we’re bringing in more guns as fast as we can find them and call in favors. If you’re waiting for something, let’s put this in perspective. I talked to Stag the day before the election and they had received orders for 6,000 rifles in the last few days. They were out 4 weeks, and that was before Barry the Community Organizer assumed his rightful place at the left hand of Satan.

RSR, largest wholesaler of firearms in America has nothing in stock. Nothing. No semi auto 5.56, 7.62×39, or .308 guns. No Kel-Tecs, no Colts, no Bushmasters, no Sigs, no FNs, zip, bupkis. We’re backordering product like crazy and taking orders.

I found 5 DPMS AP4s yesterday and picked them up from a local cop shop. I brought them into the shop around 3:00, put them on the bound book, and the last one was sold by 6:00.  In that same timeframe I sold 2 Sig 556s, a Colt sporter, an Olympic plinker, 2 WASRs, a Golani, an AK made out of railroad ties and plywood by a Pakistani over a campfire from the Khyber Pass, an Airsoft gun, and traded 2 chickens and a bag of rice for a goat. It was a very busy afternoon.

The phone rings constantly. 10 seconds after you put the phone down, it is another person, asking the same question I’ve already answered 6,782,872 times since Tuesday. NO. I DO NOT KNOW WHAT IS GOING TO GET BANNED.  Have these people not been paying attention? Did this catch them by surprise?  They’ve only been campaigning for 2 years now. 

Our custom gun wall has become the Barack Obama Memorial Layaway wall as we’re trying to find a place to stash all the guns that have been people put money down on until they get paid again. The only part of the economy that is booming is gun sales, or at least, until Comrade Chairman Obama shuts us all down and we become the FBMG Teddy Bear Hospital and Scented Candle Emporium.

Some folks still make me laugh. I love the guys who call and ask how long it will take to get a DPMS AR10 custom with cryo barrel chambered in .267 Huffalump Magnum.  They get offened when I tell them that I have no earthly idea. Why, yes sir, I’m sure DPMS is just cranking those out in a time when people are selling their organs and children to get a shot at a rusty Kel-Tec SU16 that’s missing its bolt carrier.

People have been calling me, wondering if I have heard anything about their particular backorder. The one problem with that is that I’m now to the point where I’ve got literal tons of stuff on backorder. And the wholesalers and manufacturers are so busy scrambling that they haven’t taken the time to update me on your one particular gun.

I’m hiding in my office for ten minutes while I type this and suck down a beef chimichunga, just waiting for the guys to notice I’m missing and start sending me more phone calls. If you’ve sent me an e-mail, I’m sorry. I haven’t been able to check them for a couple of days. I’ll get back to you as soon as I can, which right now is looking like probably January…  2012… When we swear in Sarah Palin.

Well, this sucks…

Barack Obama, historic win, blah blah blah.

It was a historic win all right. Over half of America decided to elect a Marxist to be the leader of our country. We picked a dude who probably couldn’t pass a background check for a secret security clearance because of his friends, associates, and dealings.  Our new president has squat experience and the only legislative thing he’s ever taken a stand on was infanticide.  He’s unqualified, unprincipled, morally bankrupt, and now he’s in charge.

I’m mad.

I’m mad at the American people. How stupid are we? Just how badly do you want to rob your neighbors? If the economy is in the crapper, why in the hell would you pick more democrats to run stuff?

I’m mad at the media. We had a full on Soviet style propaganda machine for the last year pushing Obama. People are stupid, and ate it up.  Most of the Obama supporters I talked to had zero idea what he actually said he was in favor of.  People were uneducated and stupid.  Obama was treated like a rockstar, and over half of America fell for the BS.  Don’t worry, once the democrat super majority pushes through a new Fairness Doctrine, they’ll crush talk radio and the internet, then they can have an information stranglehold that Stalin would have been proud of.

I’m mad at George Bush. How bad do you have to suck to get this kind of payback?  I’m mad at the republicans. This is what you get for abandoning your roots. Screw you. Idiots. When we had the bailout you should have listened to Newt Gingrich instead of trying to out-socialist the other side.

I’m really mad at John McCain. That’s what we get for picking a moderate democrat to be our nominee. I said it at the time, and I was right then. McCain ran as a wishy-washy middle of the road democrat, until the last month when he decided to try and be an actual conservative republican, but by then it was too late.  Why vote for Democrat Lite when you can vote for the Socialist Buffet?

I keep hearing idiots talk about how it is the economy. If McCain had gone against the Bailout then things could have been different, but he was just the same, (i.e. crappy) as all the other parasites up there.

Nancy Pelosi is now going to set the agenda. Yes, that lunatic gets to steer the country, and she’s got a president who’ll sign her crazy laws. You haven’t seen anything yet.

I predict the first order of business will be socialized medicine. We will see the wholesale destruction of the greatest medical care in the world.  You think the economy is bad now? Wait until the government takes over another giant chunk of it.  Medical care will degrade, that’s an absolute promise.

We will have more gun control. Yes, it is electoral suicide in a few years, but Nancy and Harry were already talking about how they’ve got a clear mandate for CHANGE so they can do all sorts of nifty stuff.  Nancy’s a true believer, she’s got the votes, so there will be more gun control. Period.

Yes, we got the Heller Decision. But that doesn’t mean they won’t pass something and then worry about the legislative challenges until after the entire US gun industry has been destroyed. 

Taxes will go up. Because democrats are too stupid to pay attention to basic economics. When taxes go up, it hurts EVERYTHING.  Oh well, ya’ll asked for it. Punish those darn rich people who actually employ people and run companies. Because guess what suckers?  They’re going to pass the cost onto somebody.

Joe Biden told us that Barack will be face a major test right off the bat. No duh. He’s weak. Predators know he’s weak.  Expect people like Putin and Chavez to use this opportunity to smack America in the face and grow their influence. Iran is having a friggin’ party right now.

On that note, how in the hell can the Jewish vote have gone to Barack? This man is supported by Hezbolla and Hamas for a reason.  But while I’m on hypocrits, how can Teddy Kennedy support the man who’s political mentor dedicated his book to Sirhan Sirhan?  I guess it is all about expediency.

Expect more energy problems. We’ve learned in the last week just how they feel about coal. Until they invent a turbine you can run with good feelings or positive karma, the democrat’s energy policy will be shit.  We’ll gut our economy to sacrifce at the altar of the Prophet Al Gore.

All of the ageing liberal supreme court justices will retire now, so that Barack can replace them with 3 twenty-year old Ruth Bader Ginsbergs.  Regardless of his crappy presidency, we’ll be dealing with that legacy FOREVER.

The only good thing that may come from this is that the republcans might be forced to grow a pair. They abandoned their morals in order to be just like the democrats, and they paid for it.  We need leaders. We need people with actual morals and a concrete philosophy.  We need our party to step up and quit being more of the same.


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