Monster Hunter International 2: Opening Quote Contest

 

“You know what the difference between me and you really is?  You look out there and see a horde of evil, brain eating zombies.  I look out there and see a target rich environment.”

            -Dillis D. Freeman Jr. 11/2/2001

That was the quote that kicked off MHI. It actually has nothing at all to do with the story, but it was that quote that gave me the general vibe I needed to put together several ideas that I had into one coherant plotline, that I eventually turned into Monster Hunter International.

That quote was pretty much perfect to kick the book off. I had read that quote off of www.thefiringline.com and I contacted the poster that wrote it, and asked their permission. He had no problem with me using it, as long as I attributed it him. I’m still thankful for Dillis giving me permission to use it.

As you all know, MHI has gone on to do pretty good. Having a good opening quote helps!

I just wrapped up the rough draft of MHI:2. Looking good so far. One problem. No opening quote.  I’ve got tons of good quotes from my own characters, but I kind of want something written by somebody else.

So I would like to kick off the Offical MHI:2 Opening Quote Contest. I need a quote. You guys are smart. Many of you have read my book, and even if you haven’t, as long as it is monster related, and works with the overall MHI theme, (evil looms, cowboy up, kill it, get paid), we’re good to go.

There really aren’t any rules. You got a cool quote you think I can use. Post it. If it wins, I’ll use it. The prize?  Uh… you get attribution under whatever name you feel like me using, and so you get your name on the front page of a future best selling novel. (well, we’ll just assume best selling, you know, power of positive thinking and all that jazz).

If you think your quote is so massively awesome that you can build a whole book off it, and you don’t want me to take it, then don’t post it here!  If you post it, I’m assuimg you want me to steal it.

So bring them on. Post your original monster related quotes here.  I can’t promise that any of these will win, but even if I end up using one of your quotes and tweaking it, you still get the attribution. (assuming you want it).

133 Responses

  1. “These people cry about gun control, but when there’s a seven-foot werewolf after them, suddenly owning a gun makes perfect sense!”

  2. Not mine, but…

    “Cowards die many times before their deaths The valiant never taste of death but once.” —William Shakespeare, Julius Caesar, II:ii

  3. It can always get worse.

    Life’s a bitch and then you die . . . if you’re lucky.

  4. “Heroes aren’t born, they’re cornered.” -unknown

  5. “What’s the new mission?”
    “X-files meets CSI with automatic weapons.”
    “I love this job.”

  6. My humble submission.

    “When you’re a kid,you’re afraid of the dark. You’re afraid of the boogeyman who lives in the dark. You’re afraid of the guy in your closet who grins at you and runs his finger across his throat,and dares you to go to sleep.

    But you never really see him,do you? You grow up and you’re not afraid of the dark anymore. Because there’s nobody out there,right? There’s nobody waiting for you. There’s no such thing as monsters.”

  7. I worked doing disaster relief among Haitians in Florida. They have quite a number of rather nihilistic and melancholy proverbs. Here’s a couple (IPN Creole on top, English on the bottom):

    “Bay kou bliye, pote mak sonje”
    The giver of the blow forgets, but the bearer of the scar remembers.

    “Si se Bondye ki voye, li peya fre ou”
    If it is God who sends you, he’ll cover your expenses.

    After the 2004 coup, I heard this one alot:
    “Konstitisyon se papie, bayonet se fe”
    The Constitution is but paper, bayonets are steel.

  8. “Shooting zombies is a lot like shooting targets. They don’t move much, the bullets tear right through them, and if you get too close, you’re liable to become one yourself.”

  9. “The world is full of mealy-mouthed namby-pamby bed wetters who live their lives in fear, and their battle cry is ‘Violence never solves anything.’ Well, let me tell you this: they’ve never tried using enough of it.”

  10. Here is a brief sampling of some of my own axioms:

    “Make decisions, otherwise decisions get made for you.”

    “Know your bartender.”

    “Socialists somehow manage to be in the bathroom when the bill comes around.”

    “Everything is political, but not everything is politics.”

  11. “It’s funny how just when you think life just can’t possibly get any worse it suddenly does.” ~ Marvin the Paranoid Android (Douglas Adams, of course…)

  12. We are free men. We will not be subjugated. We have the guns to prove it. – Anon

    Don’t know the original author, nor do I remember where I got it from, but I always like this quote.

  13. One of my faves.

    “Chalk yourself up as dead, and then fight accordingly. First one to Valhalla loses.”

    ~WheelGunSlinger on THR

  14. Ya know, a year ago I’d question my sanity if I saw something like that. Now I just try and lead it correctly.

  15. There’s a lot I don’t know. Hell, sometimes I don’t think I know so much. But a grip full of steel sure helps when things go all to hell.

  16. I like the one from the “13th Warrior”:

    The deeper you go in the woods, the more things there are to eat your horses…

  17. Has this one been used yet?
    “If it bleeds we can kill it.” from Commando

  18. “Normal, what’s normal? That’s just a line we crossed getting to where we are now.”

    Mr Fixit

  19. The question isn’t one of wood vs. synthetic or even of steel vs. polymer. The real question is, “How fast can it kill the denizens of nightmares?”

    The answer to that my friends, is how fast can I reload?

  20. I think Orwells classic somewhat fits with the tone of MHI:

    “People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf. “

  21. “I don’t know about you, but I haven’t been spending all this time training just to be fast food.”

    or

    “Who knew monsters were so susceptible to lead poisoning?”

    Good luck finding the right one!

  22. “I just dumped an entire magazine of .308 into that thing’s head. Whaddaya mean ‘It’s not dead yet’?!”

  23. “Remember the good, old days when things used to just die when you shot em?”

  24. “I don’t care what you SAY you believe in, we both KNOW you walk faster at night.”

  25. Not really monster related, but it works, I think, especially in the world of MHI. It’s a quote from Michael Yon that I’ve used as a part of my email sig:

    “…once the shooting starts, a plan is just a guess in a party dress.”

  26. “Some great ideas are best forgotten.” dzimmerm

    “It is better to come to the right conclusion slowly than coming to the wrong conclusion quickly” dzimmerm

    “I am sorry that some live in a fantasy world where guns are not appropriate. I
    only hope that your fantasy is not ripped to shreds when someone you love is
    killed and all you can do is offer the assailant another target.” dzimmerm

    “I have a bad feeling about this” Han Solo and Indiana Jones trademark saying

    “The Gods do not protect fools, fools are protected by more competent fools” Louis Wu in Ringworld by Larry Niven

    Those are a few of mine and a couple of ones that I like.

    Have at them if any of them appeal to you.

    dzimmerm (Royal Order of the Preorder)

  27. We are all “player characters” here. You can kill us, but you can’t scare us.

  28. Use your brain, or someone will use it for you.
    -Reuben Blades

  29. “If the sun comes up tomorrow, it is only because of men of good will. That is all there is between us and the devil. ” – Kenneth O’Donnell

    N.B. Literally.

  30. “There will come a time when you believe everything is finished. Yet that will be the beginning.”

    “Being scared can keep a man from getting killed, and often makes a better fighter of him”

    “Anger is a killing thing: it kills the man who angers, for each rage leaves him less than he had been before – it takes something from him.”

    “A wise man fights to win, but he is twice a fool who has no plan for possible defeat.”

    “Victory is won not in miles but in inches. Win a little now, hold your ground, and later, win a little more. ”

    All the above by Louis L’Amour

    The following from Herman Melville:

    “Faith, like a jackal, feeds among the tombs, and even from these dead doubts she gathers her most vital hope.”

    “He who has never failed somewhere, that man can not be great.”

    “I am, as I am; whether hideous, or handsome, depends upon who is made judge.”

    “It is not down in any map; true places never are.”

    “There are some enterprises in which a careful disorderliness is the true method.”

    “To the last, I grapple with thee; From Hell’s heart, I stab at thee; For hate’s sake, I spit my last breath at thee.”

    “If you can get nothing better out of the world, get a good dinner out of it, at least.”

    Without knowing the plot of the next book, I can only stand on these as examples of quotes from two of the best quintessentially American writers. There are hundreds of others, of course; but these have always had the ring of truth of to me. They speak of the struggle in men’s minds to stand up and fight , whatever the cost, as well as accepting the price the we pay to do so.

  31. Almost being eaten is one thing no self defense course really can prepare you for. A mag full of .45s can help ensure you survive it, though.

  32. – Peace and quiet is just nature’s way of telling you it’s time to reload.

    — Some see things that are and ask why. I dream of things that never die and ask ‘where’s my flamethrower?’

    — Do not taunt Tactical Fonzie. Dracula tauted Tactical Fonzie once…. Once.

    — Oddly, chasing werewolves while aiming full-auto fire is a good cardiovascular workout.

    — With enough adreniline even my grandmother could handle a J-frame .50 BMG.

    — A Colt Delta 10mm is a pocket gun… all you need are big enough pockets.

    — You know, if they weren’t bloodsucking, murderous, evil, blackhearted, demon-spawn intent on taking over the world and enslaving mankind, I’d almost feel bad for what we’re about to do to them.

    — “Werewolves!”
    “There wolves!”
    “We’re being over run by werewolves, vampires and ghouls and I’m in a stack with Lou Costello.”
    “At least I didn’t ask “Ghouls on first?”
    “You know, I have a loaded gun, don’t you?”

    — “Hey armorer! Got anything in forty?”
    ” Forty? .45 ACP too manly for ya?”
    “40mm.”
    ” Carry on then.”

  33. “Time for some thrilling heroics.” -Mal Reynolds (Firefly)

  34. Nobody ever saw a gargoyle swooping down on them like a concrete B-52 and thought to themselves “I wish my gun wasn’t so big”.

  35. Gun laws only matter if you survive long enough to be prosecuted.

  36. If you’re gonna use a tactical nuke to poke a great old one in the eye, you’ve gotta expect some consequences.

  37. When this is all over, nobody’s going to remember details like what shooting stance you used or what caliber your gun was – well, except those geeks on thehighroad.org

  38. Oh man, Shooter reminded me of the infinitely quotable Firefly! Well done.

    “This could get…interesting.”
    “…Interesting? What does that mean?”
    “‘Oh God, oh God, we’re all gonna die’?”
    –Mal and Wash

    “Don’t the Bible have some pretty specific things to say about killin’?”
    “Indeed it does. It is, however, somewhat fuzzier on the subject of kneecaps.”
    –Zoe and Shepherd Book

    “Also? I can kill you with my brain.”
    –River

    “Well look at this! Looks like we got here just in the nick of time. What’s that make us?”
    “Big damn heroes, sir.”
    –Mal and Zoe

    And my personal favorite…

    “They tell you, never hit a man with a closed fist. But it is on occasion hilarious.”
    –Mal Reynolds

  39. Umm… Larry? I think you already GOT the quote you need:

    “Evil looms: cowboy up, kill it, get paid”

    I think I need that in a sig line…

  40. I really like #13 and #20!

    I can’t believe we are talking about the sequel and I haven’t had the opportunity to read the first one yet!

  41. “I aim to misbehave.” – Mal Reynolds.

  42. I just shot twelve zombies and skewered about six more — I’ve got bits of brains all over me — and you’re mewling like a schoolgirl because I wanna smoke a farging cigarette?!?

    — line from my future screenplay

  43. Posted by Deer Hunter at THR:

    “The most brutal part of the zombie apocalypse is pretending I’m not excited.”

  44. Sorry, man, can’t resist.

    “The full moon isn’t for another 2 weeks, you can practically limp away from most zombies, and any girl who made it through her teen years is more than capable of fending off advances from Dracula. Your job is a joke.”

    –Penny Love, Necroville
    :D

  45. I know violence isn’t the answer. I got it wrong on purpose.

    -unknown

  46. I’ve been better , but it cost a lot more and didn’t last as long.

  47. “Love my job? Sure, why not. Lots of guns and and lots of monsters. Plus, they pay me to combine the two in the best ways possible; often and judiciously. What’s not to love?”

    “Monsters? Well, maybe that’s a bit insulting. Undead, lycanthropes, and the occasional blood-drinking son-of-a-bitch with a really bad intentions. No need to be insulting, they’re just following their instincts. I reserve the title of monster for serial killers and my ex-wife’s lawyer. Sometimes I think I’m being a little hard on the serial killers.”

    “So, can you spare a clip? I had a little too much fun back there. Undead kill real good.”

    “Yeah, Mom? I’m gonna be late. Jenny’s developed a wicked hunger and I have to kill her now. No, you were right, vampires are the wrong kind of date to bring to the prom. Gotta go! She’s breaking down the door… yes, I’m wearing clean underwear, well I was wearing clean underwear. Mom! Gotta go!”

    “The Steaks Are Ready? That’s the worst vampire killing quote ever! I would so fire you!”

    Some of us have to wait for the book. Bummer.

  48. “By all means take the moral highground, the heavenly back light will make you a perfect target”. Robert A. Heinlein

  49. “The world is full of wolves, wolfhounds and sheep. What you are is up to you.”

    “When the monsters of the world come knocking down your door, you will think about the boy scouts motto “Be Prepare”, preferably with a shotgun.”

    One from Firefly
    You have the right to live and kill people…..that are trying to kill you” -Mal Reynolds

    Can’t wait for the new book.

  50. ” Some people feel guilty shooting living beings, all I feel is recoil.”
    Quoted to some Marine sniper being interviewed in Iraq.

  51. “Horror is to be unable to contain your miserable sanity from running away at full throttle. Horror is to be aware that the last carat of your sanity will vanish no matter the effort you make to avoid it.”
    A badly translated passage from the tale “The Conductor” of Horacio Quiroga

  52. “Wine just seems out of place at a BBQ. I’ve always thought that a cold beer is the perfect compliment to a well grilled slice of human flesh.”

  53. “My mommy always said there were no monsters – no real ones – but there are.” -Newt, ALIENS

  54. I vote Jon C. wins. All bow to Jon.

  55. “Well, what you plan and what takes place ain’t ever exactly been similar.” – Jayne Cobb

  56. “There are two kinds of people in this world. But the way things are going, we may be down to just one REAL soon.”

  57. How about this:

    Look kid, if you spend all your time worrying about getting bitten by vampires, or torn apart by werewolves you’ll never get out of bed. Just remember, keep your will up to date, keep your knife oiled and honed, and keep telling yourself “front sight, press,front sight”.

  58. The bottom line, is they want to eat us, and we get paid to shoot them. All in all, it isn’t a bad trade.

  59. “Okay, I get the point: they’re werewolves. This is an RPG-7V. With reloads. Let’s go play ‘Fetch’.”

    http://thelawdogfiles.blogspot.com/2006/05/lines-id-really-like-to-hear.html

    LawDog

  60. [...] Opening quote contest over at Larry’s! [...]

  61. One man’s hell is another man’s playground.

  62. The fog over the crissy fields this morning is a lovely shade of red. The smell of decaying brain matter… can you smell it, Charlie? Smells like… victory.

  63. Oh, let me try a couple:

    “When you finally realize that evil incarnate will never stop hunting you down, you’re left with just two things to do. Reload, and make bodies.”

    Or …

    “The world is filled with creatures hiding in every shadow, around every corner, eager to tear you apart and consume you. When all of that evil has finally chased you down – bloody, broken, and on the edge of eternal defeat – you have but one option …

    Kick. It’s. Ass.”

  64. When you get down to it, the flamethrower really is an all-purpose tool. Vampires hate it. Zombies are like human kindling. If the building’s on fire, you can start a backburn. You can catch and cook dinner all at once. Heck, it even clears sidewalks in an ice storm. Think about it… I’ll trade you a Swiss Army Knife for a flamethrower any day of the week.

  65. “Zombies are sort of like Twinkies. They keep pretty much forever, they’re all gooey inside and you can never stop with just one.

    Course Twinkies never tried to bite my dick off..”

    Ibrahim “Bubba” Ames, Zombie Hunter.

    (An actual quote from an All Flesh Must Be Eaten game. Zombie fun for us nerds!)

  66. Not monster related but they could be used in that context:

    I don’t know why everyone does not share my delight with explosives. If they don’t, it has to be some abhorrent character defect.

    Ragnar Benson
    From:
    Ragnar’s Guide to Home and Recreational Use of High Explosives
    Page 110, Copyright 1988

    I can remember the exact moment I fully appreciated the enjoyment that can come from using explosives… The old car body disintegrated into a shower of metal shards from the impact of the HE (high explosives) round.

    The concussion from the shot threw up sand and bits of rock in a gritty, dusty shower. Trapped between the explosion and the little basalt canyon as I was, the blast about washed me off the tank. It was as if the steel monster had run into a wall of Jell-O.

    All the sagebrush and wire grass in front of the tank was uprooted and destroyed. Any living thing up to sixty feet under and in front of the main gun would have been killed by the muzzle blast. It was at that moment, sitting in the basket as I rode through the tank commander school on the desert south of Boise, Idaho, that I realized I was addicted to high explosives. The smell was exhilarating, the effect of the tank a charm, and the return rumble of the round as it detonated downrange a pure delight.

    Ragnar Benson
    From:
    Ragnar’s Guide to Home and Recreational Use of High Explosives
    Page 109,110, Copyright 1988

    Plagiarizing from Ragner Benson:

    I can remember the exact moment I fully appreciated projectile detonated homemade explosives. When the zombie apocalypse comes my version of sporting clays, with explosives laden clay pigeons, will make me the most popular gun geek in the country. Chicks will dig it.

  67. “Is the world we knew coming to an end? Maybe. But our species banished night, tamed fire, enslaved lightning, and broke gravity. Compared to all that, defeating the golems of our collective nightmares should be child’s play.

    That’s the theory. What remains is execution. Time to play the executioner’s song.”

  68. “A beast can never be so cruel as a man, so artistically cruel.” Ivan in Bros Karamazov ch4 by Dostoevsky

    “I think if the devil doesn’t exist, but man has created him, he has created him in his own image and likeness.” Dostoevsky

    “The essential American soul is hard, isolate, stoic — and a killer.” D.H. Lawrence

    “With all that’s arrayed against us, I only have one question: Do we have enough bullets?” Jason Hawk

  69. From the Notebooks of Lazarus Long (Robert A. Heinlein):

    Get a shot off fast. This upsets him long enough to let you make your second shot perfect.

    Everything in excess! To enjoy the flavor of life, take big bites. Moderation is for monks.

    Place your clothes and weapons where you can find them in the dark.

    You live and learn or you don’t live long.

  70. here’s a couple of Jack Handey quotes
    (just for amusement)

    “I think my favorite monster movie is ‘Gone With the Wind’, because it has that ear monster and that big-dress monster.”

    “I believe you should live each day as if it were your last…which is why I don’t have any clean laundry, because, come on, who wants to wash clothes on the last day of their life?”

    “A good way to keep a mob of peasants from killing your monster is when they break into your castle, make them be real quiet, then open a door and there’s the monster, sound asleep.”

    “Probably the worst thing about having King Kong go rampid in your town would be the huge, monster genitalia.”

    “Probably the saddest thing you’ll ever see is a mosquito sucking on a mummy. Forget it, little friend.”

    “Fear can sometimes be a useful emotion. For instance, let’s say you’re an astronaut on the moon and you fear your partner has been turned into Dracula. Next time he goes out for the moon pieces, wham! You just slam the door behind him and blast off. He might call you on the radio and say he’s not Dracula, but you just say, ‘Think again, batman.'”

    “I wish I had a Kryptonite cross, because then you could keep both Dracula AND Superman away.”

  71. “Do you remember when you were a little kid? How you were afraid of the Boogeyman, the monster under the bed? Well he’s my little brother…” A portion of my introduction of myself to new sailors to remind them of the importance of staying awake in my class.

  72. I’ve always liked the one liner Rutger Hauer used in Split Second.

    Captain speaking to him. “I’m surprised you don’t have a grenade launcher.”

    Hauer. “Couldn’t get a permit.”

  73. It was an absolute honor to have my line open the book, so I offer these simply as a way to get in the spirit of things.

    “When you’re dealing with a prowler, you call the cops; when the prowler turns out to be an ancient undead thing that can freeze the marrow in your bones at ten paces and suck it out at five paces, the cops call us.”

    MHI recruiting slogan

    “Hunter 1: Remember when we had to deal with were vampire lords, werewolves, banshees, and 3,000 year old mummies bent on stealing our souls?

    Hunter 2: Yup, those were the good ole days.”

    “A .45 ACP through the eye socket of a vampire is a great distraction tool.”

    Excerpt from MHI training program (with compliments to Steve Tarani who came up with the original line from which this is paraphrased)

    “Some say it takes a village to raise a child. Well, that village is nothing more than a smorgasbord if the child turns out to be a vampire and nobody has the guts to give some tough love, flamethrower style!”

    “Nothing worse than a zombie with an attitude problem.”

    “The only problem with dealing with a godlike extradimensional demon lord is finding a ladder tall enough to let you give said demon lord a good ass kicking.”

  74. You know what the difference between a fairy tale, a sea story, and an MHI legend is?

    The fairy tale starts with “once upon a time”

    The sea story starts with “no shit, there I was”

    The MHI legend starts with an after action report

  75. “INCOMING!”
    —————————-
    “Have you ever fought a werewolf who use to be your boss to the death with you barehands after your 9-5?!”

    “I fought two of them, At the same time!”
    ——————————–
    No one lives forever – But not everyone dies once.
    ——————————–
    Bite me!

  76. “People sleep peaceably in their beds only because rough men stand ready in the night to do violence on their behalf.” – George Orwell

  77. Concentrate on form. Fear and adrenalin will give you all the speed you need.

  78. My two humble and probably corny suggestions with a suggestion for corresponding cover art.

    Scene: Our hero and heroine (there will be a heroine, right?) are standing casually, heavily armed, blood soaked and observing an urban scene that resembles downtown Beirut circa early ’80’s with various formerly undead bodies and body parts strewn about.

    Opening quote 1: Hero to Heroine > “Well…that escalated a lot more quickly than I had anticipated.

    Opening quote 2: Heroine to Hero > I guess this kind of proves that whole ‘violence begets violence’ thing.

  79. Let the guns do the talking. Sometimes, it’s just not wise to say “Eat me.”

  80. “Yea, though I walk through the valley of shadow and death, I shall fear no evil; for Death walks with me, and the Shadows are friends of mine.” – MrMojoRising-AR15.com

  81. There are two kinds of people in this world: those who will get eaten and those who will shoot back.

  82. zombies – Because shooting varmints just wasn’t enough of a challenge.

  83. “I Do What I Can, With the Weapons I Got” – Dan Scillieri

  84. It’s sad that a family can be torn apart by something as simple as a pack of wild dogs.
    -Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy

  85. Hey Larry! Nolo from WTA.
    Here’s to hoping I make an impact:
    “Being free isn’t about ridding the world of all earthly evils. It’s about looking that evil in the face, smiling, putting a slug in its brain, and continuing whatever it is that dumbass interrupted you doing in the first place.”
    -No Live Operator

  86. “Some people say I own guns because I’m addicted to violence. The truth is much simpler, I own guns because I’m addicted to cool.”

    “If dressing up in a Sailor Moon outfit to post on an internet gun forum is wrong, than I don’t want to be right.”

    “In a world of monsters there are two types of people. The first are those ready and able to stand up and fight the darkness, the others are the bait.”

  87. With a swift professionalism, captain and crew made haste
    To lay every dirty baby-eatin’ zombie to waste.

    With gleaming cutlasses and shotgun blasts,
    The zombies soon became a thing of the past.

  88. When the going gets tough, grab that axe and start hacking away.

    I don’t think the thing expected me to growl back so fiercely.

  89. “Not fair? NOT FAIR?? Hey kid, the only ‘fair’ we have around here is in October with cotton candy and pony rides.” – Me to my kids, several times a week

    “They can’t do anything to me that I can’t do to them first, faster and better. Bring it on…let’s see how they look over the sights” – CMSGT John Nettles, USA, 20th SF Group

  90. When in doubt empty the magazine.

    sometimes you have to just spray and pray.

    Praise the lord and pass the ammo.(WWII song)

    we’re gonna need a bigger boat(Jaws)

    Napalm sticks to zombies.

    I love the smell of Napalm in the morning(Apocalypse Now)

    With luck the damage will be limited to just our universe.

    If at first you dont succeed, reload and dont leed them as much.

  91. A few more-
    They mostly come at night-mostly(Alien 2)

    That’s it man… Game Over.(Alien 2)

    Never say famous last words-they might be yours.

    Yeah and Custer had a plan too(Stripes)

  92. this one is just for kicks because its from a Clint Eastwood movie called “The Outlaw Josey Wales”.

    “Now remember, things look bad and it looks like you’re not gonna make it, then you gotta get mean. I mean plumb, mad-dog mean. ‘Cause if you lose your head and you give up then you neither live nor win. That’s just the way it is. ”

    But here is my submission

    “Sure I remember the good old days. Hanging out with friends, working for the weekend, bad guys that died with a single head shot from a normal bullet. Those days were OK. Not very profitable though.”

  93. “Nothing but a red mist and a memory.”

    “If your Aunt had balls, she’d be your Uncle….if she had fangs, that’d be just freakin’ weird!”

  94. Here are a couple from me :

    “Your parents told you there WAS a Santa Claus and that there were NO monsters. Guess What? THEY LIED – TWICE!!”

    “Dracula is my BITCH!”

    And here is another one I like :

    “I am here to chew bubblegum and kick ass, and I am all out of bubblegum!” — Roddy Piper in “They Live”

  95. Another one :

    “Given a choice in bloodsuckers between a pack of vampires and the IRS; I’ll take the vamps – they have a better sense of humor.”

  96. 2 gal of gas 6.00
    1 disposable Lighter 2.60
    24 empty bottles free

    Burning down your school library when it is full of zombies.
    Priceless.

  97. Killing the werewolve wasn’t difficult getting rid of his fleas, now that’s hard

  98. We’re Monster Hunter International
    Our detractors say we’re irrational
    We kill monsters on the run
    and annoy Feds just for fun
    we assure you its all legal, profitable and factual

    *shrug* I got up this morning and starting playing with limericks and I can’t stop. Its really quite entertaining..if slightly distracting.

  99. He would have finished him off then and there, but pity stayed his hand. “It’s a pity I’ve run out of bullets.” — Bored of the Rings

    “If violence wasn’t your last resort, you failed to resort to enough of it.” — Rule # 6, Seven Habits of Highly Effective Pirates, Schlock Mercenary

  100. “So we accidently atom-bombed the Dread Overlord? Who knew ten thousand foot tall crustacean Evil Ones were so touchy!”

  101. Gun control laws are a small comfort when a vamp is looking at you with blood on his fangs and hunger in his eyes.

  102. “Fear accompanies the possibility of death; calm shepherds its certainty”
    (quote from Farscape)

  103. my version of graffiti is zombie blod splattered over a citiy block. god i love that chainsaw

  104. my daddy gave me this one and it applies to many situstions.
    “He who hesitates is lost”

  105. one piece of advice i can give you newbies “if a zombie bites you, bite it the f&*k back. you might as well let that mother know that one way or another he’s screwed”

  106. “You say we’re surrounded by a horde–I say we have the advantage of interior supply-lines and no friendlies obstructing the line of fire. LOCK AND LOAD!”

  107. Or:

    “Happiness, MHI Style: A cold beverage, a hot babe, an even hotter BFG–all atop a big pile of deanimated undead, with a fat PUFF check in the bank.”

  108. It’s naturally unnatural to have to make dead the undead. Just one of the ironies of this line of work.

  109. “Remember rule #2: Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice.”

  110. ” are you always a hardass?”
    “no sometimes i shoot zombies!”

  111. “whats a good way to solve a problem?”

    “double tap”

  112. “we’re surrounded? good! those bastards won’t get away this time.”

    when in doubt just empty the damn clip

  113. we’re surrounded good we can shoot in any direction those bastards won’t get away this time

  114. “when in doubt and your back against the wall, just throw some grenades that should get them all”

  115. “Better two in the head than the living undead.”

  116. Dad! you just shot Flanders the zombie! Flanders was a zombie?

    Simpsons Little Treehouse of Horror

    There is nothing funny about getting killed and eaten by a zombie

    max Brooks Zombie Survival Handbook

  117. My granddaddy always had this saying, “Don’t be afraid of anyone. It’s not like they’re gonna eat ya. And hey, If they do more power to ya!” Then he would end it with his creepy old man wheeze. But honestly, when he talked about “eating” I doubt he was talking about the vampires, zombies or werewolves I faced on a daily basis. Sometimes it’s smart to be afraid of people; especially when you see eating on their mind.

  118. Quote
    Heroes are people who just ran of room to run.

    Quote

    Seeing is believing, but it’s the nightmares that will kill you

    Quote
    My perfect woman, too bad she was dead

  119. “Go to everyones funeral so that when it’s your turn someone will come to yours.”

    hell if I know who said it but it has a bit of truth to it

    “When I brought you here to my camp I asked ou what you saw. You said madmen, psychopaths, killers, and thieves. I tell you these are my brothers one and all.”

    I remember a book somewhere that has something like this in it, but I’m not sure

    My grandfather told me when I was little that,”they’re called haints cause ther hAINT no such thing.” Oh if he could only see me now.

  120. On one hand you’ve got the choice of slaughtering beings that used to be human, but have forsaken such qualities for those of the damned, and on the other hand you try to reason with yourself that they can;t be real, then get eaten (or turned). So I say, “When in doubt, just take them out!!” -George D.

  121. “Stop your frowning and grab your Browning!”–R. Lee Ermey, “Lock and Load” on The History Channel (God, I love that show!)

  122. “it’s time to man up, take responsibility, and make some got damn cash”

    i though about this one real quick

  123. what else can go wrong
    as i read the book this pop in my head a thousand times

  124. I once met a man who believed that, because he had done nothing but kind things in his life, his good Karma would protect him from any and all harm. Later that same night he got torn in half and eaten by a manticore. Lesson learned? Karma, like luck, is fleeting in the face of monsters that cannot comprehend such things, but a weapon, and the will and skill to use it, will almost never fail you. -Caleb Gaddy

  125. A coward gives up at the first sign of danger but a true hero spits in the eye of danger and says “Fuck you” – tyler hall

  126. We are called to follow the sheperd I choose to fight the wolves.

  127. Never tell anybody to bite you…. especially the undead

  128. How’s this for a quote for Owen if his and Julie’s wedding is in the book; “i have done things most sane people would cry just by thinking of. I’ve been poisoned by a zombie, re-killed undead nasties, and shot the hell out of a god. So it’s a no-brainer that I’m scared to death of my wedding.”

    Just a thought.

    GO MIH

  129. Scratch that quote off the list. Here’s a few new ones.

    “Jules, hand me that chainsaw please.”

    “”Zombies limp around, smell bad, and eat anything thats meat. Sounds like my ex-wife.”

    “A handgun can only go so far. Shotguns go father.”

    “You wanna see a good painting. Me in my armor, covered in blood with a pile of wights and zombies at my feet, chainsaw at the ready”

    hope you like it

  130. Fire Light

    In the night man’s courage
    reaches to the edge of light
    past that man cannot see
    what waits and lurks
    and watches him
    pacing by his fire.

    Dreams

    Fear comes in our dreams
    frozen, choking,screams
    comes the demons.
    Gasping we wake
    still touched by fear
    we lay in darkness.
    Just dreams,not real.
    Dreams.

    thanks Larry, this was fun.
    David Mills

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