Apparently my XBox is filled with Beryllium (mined in Utah, as seen on the Space Shuttle!), Bromine (may cause sterility in Sea Monkeys), Polyvinyl Chloride (responsible for shooting John Lennon), and my personal favorite Phthalates (go ahead and try to pronounce that one, science boy).
What this all means is that if you break open your Xbox, and eat the contents, it may be bad for you. And somehow, whenever I play Halo, an endangered caribou dies. The carbon footprint for Gears Of War is larger than Bolivia (chainsaw bayonets use up precious petrochemicals, and at $4 a gallon, chainsawing all those mutants gets expensive!)
Well, confronted with this astounding information, I’m now forced to think about how I’m going to proceed, so as to not offend Gaia the mother earth spirit…
Okay, I got it.
SUCK ON IT, GREEN PEACE!!!
I’m going to go play Grand Theft Auto 4 some more now. Because not only can I shoot police officers, steal cars, punch hookers in the face, and contribute to the further decay of society, I can also cause those damn polar bears to go extinct once and for all.
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