Another Gun Show comes to a close

So we just wrapped up another gun show weekend at the South Town Expo Center.

 

I’ve posted before about how we do shows, and we’re still some of the only dealers there that apparently give a damn.  We still run ours like a trade show booth, totally open, as opposed to the traditional Crusty Bastard Dealer on one side of the table, snarling at anyone who dares to touch his table consisting of the same huntin’ guns he’s had for the last 47 consecutive shows. 

 

This show we upped the ante by putting down carpet first.  Not just for the customers benefit, but for my guys.  If you’ve ever stood on concrete for two straight days, you know what I’m talking about.  Plus if anybody drops a gun, it lands on the carpet, as opposed to the hard floor.  I had somebody take a big chip out of the anodizing on a Stag upper doing that once. 

 

We had a really successful show, and sold a bunch of guns.  Overall, I was really happy. 

 

There were a few interesting incidents this time around.  Sometime before lunch on Sunday morning, there is this sudden BANG.  Imagine 1,000 gun nuts in one room, suddenly becoming very quiet and looking around to see what dumbass just shot themselves.  The quiet lasted for about a minute, nobody started screaming, nobody pointed any fingers, and the show continued on.

 

Later on, people in the offending area were talking about how somebody had dropped a clipboard, which was one version I heard, which was easily dismissed since collectively the population of this room had probably shot about a billion rounds of .22 LR, and it sounded suspiciously like a .22 to most of us.  Later on I heard that somebody had accidentally somehow set off a primer.  Primer?  Primer, my ass.

 

This just goes to show, always assume guns are loaded, don’t point them at people, and keep your idiot finger off the trigger.  That said, if you’re working a gun show, you had better be prepared to have guns pointed at you, no matter how infuriating and annoying you may find it. 

 

About forty minutes after the “clipboard fell” a guy’s walking toward our booth, and he suddenly just flopped forward onto his face and started to shake.  It looked like an epileptic seizure to me.  PvtPyle shouted really loud to the crowd for anyone who was a paramedic, and I went and ran down to the other end of the building to the Crossroads “command post” to get the event staff to call someone.  (demonstrating why I’m an idiot, because while I was sprinting across the aircraft hanger sized space, Uncle Barbie walked fifteen feet and got one of the security guards manning the door to use his radio.  Which shows that a college education may get you a commission, but it is the career NCOs that get stuff done). 

 

He appeared to be fine after they checked him out.  But so far in one day, we had had a negligent discharge, and a seizure.  Since things tend to happen in threes, I waited for something else bad to happen, but apparently nothing did, though I did eat a convention center burrito for lunch, so ask me tomorrow morning how that worked out…

 

Now a note on people watching at the gun show.  Damn it, people.  If I wanted to have people whine about free stuff, I would go hang out at the democratic convention.  I’m in a building full of gun folks, who I would expect to understand a few simple facts about capitalism, but that’s way too much to wish for. 

 

What am I talking about, you ask?  Well, we always bring our Prism simulator.  Think of it as $15,000 worth of equipment and top-of-the-line training software, that normally you have to pay good money for, or go through a police academy to get access to.  But we bring ours out for the general public to use at the show for free, because people enjoy it, and it always gathers a large crowd at our booth. 

 

But damn it, if I’m letting you use my simulator for free, don’t you dare bitch at me because I won’t let your kid play with it like it is the Lethal Enforcers game at your local Walmart.  We don’t let anybody under 16 use the simulator (unless we know them and trust them) because in the past we had a little kid drop the laser equipped Sig (both of which are real expensive) on the concrete, and his derelict chimp of a father immediately said “Oh, I ain’t payin’ for that!”  And another time we had a kid use two fingers to pull the heavy double action trigger, and he pinched himself, which of course, was our fault.

 

So yesterday we had this one guy get all sorts of offended when we wouldn’t let his eight year old “shoot all the bad guys”.  He then proceeded to take a seat, and pontificate about how this wasn’t fair, and it was a bunch of “bull shit” for about ten minutes.

 

Listen you monosyllabic moron, if you want fair, you picked the wrong culture to belong to.  The gun culture doesn’t care what you think is fair.  You survive by the sweat of your brow, or you friggin’ crawl back under your mossy rock and die.  If somebody decides to let you use their expensive stuff for free, use it according to their standards, or buy your own.  If the person that spent their heard earned money to buy the cool toys wants to set the rules on how to use those toys, you can have a nice warm cup of shut the hell up, or go with their rules.  If you want free and fair, the anti-gun culture welcomes you with open arms. 

 

Idiots like that are, luckily, few and far between.  The vast majority of people I deal with at the shows are awesome.  Thank goodness.

8 Responses

  1. Well, you gotta figure that with a few thousand people of any type in a big room together, there’s going to be some morons.

    On the plus side, I picked up a Dan Wesson .357, and of course a copy of MHI (which I suspect will keep me up far too late this evening).

  2. I agree with Nick; considering all of the people who attended, only one lone asshole is actually pretty good. Wish I could have made it to this one.

  3. I’m with you.

  4. Ok, my husband Jay, XD45, brought home you book MHI. He wanted me to read it to him as we drove around I thought ok, here is another book he will get 10 pages into and stop reading. He is wasting our money again. Well, I couldn’t put it down. I tried so hard to wait for him to come home from work yesterday so we could continue to read it. I couldn’t stop myself. I have read the whole thing and can ‘t wait for #2.

    I am not a gun person and thought that was a bit over the top, but I realize that is who you are targeting. I can live with it and hey if it gets my husband to read, than who cares how much gun speak is in it.

  5. Woot! Got my MHI – Got My MHI Patch! Read it all in one sitting! When’s the next one due out?!

    (I don’t know what this has to do with your gun show, except maybe you were selling copies there?)

  6. I received my copy of MHI yesterday afternoon and finished it at 1:00 a.m. this morning. Great characters & an excellent story. I also look forward to your next book!

    Thanks also for your very prompt shipping!

  7. Haven’t had the same problem the last couple of years, but for several years running, while doing blacksmithing demo at OU Medieval Fair, I’d have kids- usually about 10 to 13- watch a minute, then point at something and ask “Can I have this?” Dead serious. When I or an assistant would say no, they’d point at something else: “Can I have this?”

    Little bastards were a real pain for a couple of years. And that’s not counting questions like “Is that real fire?”

  8. “if you want fair, you picked the wrong culture to belong to.” I’m going to memorize this phrase. I won’t plagarize, but it belongs on bumper stickers and/or T-shirts.

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