This morning I was in the family room, and my kids were watching TV. Specifically they were watching some Disney channel show called Higgley Town Heros. Well, I guess one of their things is that they face a challenge, they come up with some super imaginative way to solve things, that is usually crap, and they sketch it out, then somebody responsible comes along and helps them solve the problem in a sensible way.
So today, the problem was that some kid’s birthday party was going to get rained on. So this one little blob girl sketches out her plan, which is: Once it rains, we can find a rainbow, and then walk up it to the sky, where we can find a fluffy cloud, and have the party on top of it, and eat cloud cake, and wear fluffy clould birthday hats! The other kids then all cheered.
I looked at my seven year old and said, “They must be Democrats.” She nodded sagely.
So why am I talking about Disney channel cartoons? Because they are shockingly similar to the crap I’ve been watching on the national news all week. Barack Obama is such a light-weight, that the only way I could see any sane person voting for him is because they despise Hillary. Does that man actually have any positions, other than walking up rainbows to eat fluffy cloud cake?
Also, New Hampshire is no longer allowed to have a primary. I’ve decreed it. You really shouldn’t have the second friggin’ primary in the whole country, and have it allow non-residents and independants vote. Wait, you mean that there is a system that is easily manipulated, and SOMEHOW a Clinton won? SHOCKING.
The pollsters are shocked, shocked I say! They all prophesized Obama winning. But the explanation I heard was that all the independant Obama supporters then figured he was a shoe-in over the Wicked Witch of the East, and went and voted for John McCain, to help him out instead.
How the hell does that make any sense? Why should my party’s nomination process be corrupted by people that would normally support Barack friggin’ Obama? Because, you know, we’ve got so much in common.
I’ve complained about the Republican nominees a bunch of time, but at least ours have a couple of brain cells to rub together. I really pity the Democrats. You guys are epically screwed.
I ate dinner with some friends last night. One of them is a political analyst. She really fears Obama, mostly because of his charisma, and the stupidity of the average voter. She believes that he is more dangerous than Hillary (which I would agree with), and she sees him as being very electable in the general election.
Maybe she is seeing something I’m not, but if she is right, we’re screwed. And if we do lose, it is our own fault for running a bunch of folks that are either A. not actually Republicans. B. the ones that are actually Republicans have no personality. Or C. The only honest, honorable one in the bunch couldn’t get elected to Chief Dog Catcher of Fresno County, and even then his foreign policy still would suck.
So, no more primary for New Hampshire. I have declared it.
Also, no Republican primary for California. I heard some Guilliani minion the other day spouting off about how all the 4th and 5th place finishes so far are awesome, because they’re going to win the big ones, like California.
Okay… why exactly is it, that a state that has zero, as in none, fin, absolute zip chance of going Republican during the general election gets a say in who the nominee is? Seriously? California WILL not be a red state next election. Hell, they elected Arnold Mr. Microstamping Schwarzenneger to be governor, supposedly as a Republican, and the other 49 viable states have to let them have an opinion?
That’s like a bunch of friends going to the movies, deciding on which one to watch, and the one with terminal narcolepsy gets a vote. Come on man, he’s gonna sleep through it anyway! His vote shouldn’t count! I don’t want to watch Brokeback Mountain II: The Revenge of Spooner’s Ghost.
Also, we’ve not got gun companies endorsing candidates that have no problem banning guns. So in response to Alex Robinson endorsing Mitt Romney, FBMG has decided to officially endorse Cthulu in 2008.
This whole election season is making my brain hurt.