Movie Review: The Slaughter

The Slaughter http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0498386/

 

Okay, it is a cheesy, dumb, low-budget, wannabe Evil Dead.  That said, as a B-Movie geek, I enjoyed it. 

 

It starts out dumb, with the opening credit montage consisting primarily of naked chicks and chanting that sounds vaguely like “Cthula F’tagen something or other”.  Then it fast forwards to a scene that I think is supposed to be in the 40s, but it doesn’t really matter, then we skip ahead to the present day where we meet our cast of stereotypes that you know are going to get killed by the “ancient evil”. 

 

The acting was pretty bad, but that is half the fun of B-Movies.  Some of the line delivery was painful, but there were actually a few bright spots.  We then proceed into a bunch of predictable ancient evil movie clichés.  And I don’t know about you guys, but when I’m in a derelict house with strange goings on, the first thing I want to do is take a nice steamy bath.  The movie is really slow for awhile, but then it picks up for the final act. 

 

The reason I actually enjoyed this was because of some of the dialog, and a few of the characters.  The main girl really couldn’t emote her way out of a paper bag, but she had some excellent lines, and a few good scenes.  I think this movie grew on me when the final survivors are trying to come up with a plan, and they start going through various clichés about how there has to be a magic charm, because there is always a magic charm. 

 

There’s minimal gore, and what there is isn’t particularly convincing.  Some of the effects made me laugh out loud.  It isn’t a great or a classic, but it is a good way to kill an evening with B grade cheese.  I would rate this one above average, but nothing to get super excited about.

 

So if you’re a B-Movie nerd, rent it.  If you prefer movies where Robert Redford stares plaintively at the camera and talks about global warming or the war in Iraq or some crap, I don’t know why you’re still reading, because I guarantee that this movie will just offend your tender sensibilities.  

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