This Week in the News, Oct 24th 2007

In world news, Happy United Nations Day!   No kidding, it really is.  The 24th of October is when we celebrate all of the awesomeness that comes from the UN, and all of the great things that they’ve accomplished for the world, like, uh… well… hmm… that’s a tough one.  (scratches head).  They bring us great public speakers, like that one evil dictator, and that crazy psychopath, and that other evil dictator, yeah, that’s important.  And they’ve prevented wars, like, uh… well, I’ll think of one eventually.  And they’ve halted genocide and famine… Nope, must be something else. 

 

They do issue a bunch of resolutions, and then wet themselves in fear when somebody actually does something.  Yep, that’s good.  Plus, it is a valuable place for special committees, like the Human Rights Committee, made up of Syria, Libya, North Korea, COBRA, Mongo, and Belgium, to meet and issue resolutions about how America sucks.

 

The UN heads up valuable groups, like The Who.  And The Who totally rocks… oh, wait, you mean they’re a rock band from England?  What the hell is this WHO?  World Health Organization?  Wtf?  Screw that.  You mean the group that is totally cool with millions dying of malaria because DDT is politically incorrect?  Never mind. 

 

Nope, the UN exists chiefly to piss sane people off.  The only good thing there was John Bolton, and he’s gone, so I figure we should just bulldoze the place and send them to the Azores where FDR originally thought about putting them.  Except that really isn’t fair to my relatives over there either. 

 

So, Happy UN Day everybody!  Hip-hip-fricking-hoo-ray!

 

In other national news, Southern California is on fire.  This has nothing at all to do with the fact that we’re no longer allowed to do controlled burns, or clear underbrush, because it may in fact harm the Spotted Snail-Darter-Fish-Bird-Toad, but the fires are totally because of Global Warming (per Harry Reid) and because all the National Guard’s fire engines are in Iraq (per Barbara Boxer). 

 

In Utah news, we’re having a vote on Referendum 1 next week.  It is about whether we should have vouchers in school, which allows parents to take some of that education tax money per kid, and use it to send their kid to a school of their choosing.  This of course freaks out the teacher’s unions, because you know, competition is great in every other facet of life in the friggin’ universe, but is BAD in education.   I swear that I actually heard the following radio commercial from the teacher’s union.

 

Concerned Mother:  I hear Referendum 1 will cause vouchers, and those will hurt Utah kids.

Concerned Father;  Yes, because choice in education is BAD, and will hurt Utah kids.  I feel this with my strong emotions.

Concerned Mother:  Yes, because private, religious, and charter schools are allowed to beat Utah children with phonebooks.  This will take money from public schools, which will cause outbreaks of hoof and mouth disease.

Concerned Father:  And private schools teachers aren’t even required to be certified, or pay union dues!   This means that Donald Rumsfeld will come to school and actually water board your children.

Concerned Mother:  The governor is mad, insane, drunk with power, and must be stopped!

Concerned Child:  Mommy… Donald Rumsfeld touched me inappropriately…

Concerned Mother:  NOOOO!!!!

Concerned Announcer:  Vote no on Referendum 1.  Brought to you by the Utah Education Association, George Soros, and the Reptoids of the Hollow Earth.

 

Give me a break.  The stats that have been tossed around on the news (which is always suspect anyway) says that the public schools get about $7,000 per kid.  A voucher gives the parent $3,000 per kid, which they can pay to the school of their choosing.  Which, though I’m a product of the public schools (El Nido Elementary, where half of us could speak English, and almost half of the English speakers could read!) leads me to believe that there would be $4,000 left for the public school, but no kid.  Now, despite my public school education, (which really did suck) seems like you now get money, but don’t have the correlating expense…  Which in a regular business, is a good thing.

 

But it isn’t about money, it’s about a threat to a monopoly, but the UEA (Utah Education Association) can’t come out and say that. 

 

Plus, come on.  $7,000 per kid?  Give me a classroom with 30 kids, and I got $210,000 for the year, I could drive them to school on a rocket bus, do science with actual Plutonium, and bring in Orson Scott Card to teach creative writing every Friday.  I know my kid’s teacher’s aren’t getting paid that much, so where the heck does public education manage to squander all my tax money?  

 

My wife was called yesterday by one of those “surveys” which is basically a UEA scare tactic to freak people out about the evil of vouchers.  My wife told her that she was in favor of vouchers, and the “surveyor” tried to talk her out of it.  My wife was told that vouchers will cause more overcrowded classrooms… Huh?  Okay, if I have 30 kids in class, and 3 kids leave to go to a private school, let’s see… 30-3=27.  The surveyor got kind of upset and hung up when my wife started to question how good public school math education is going. 

 

In other local news, Larry Correia finally sent his book off for publication.  All concerned citizens should buy it, because it is good, Larry needs to get paid, and everyone likes to read about monsters and how to blow them up.   The UEA and UN doesn’t want you to buy Monster Hunter International because it may cause wildfires and global warming.

Pre-Order for MHI is now up!

I put up the pre-order information for Monster Hunter International.  http://larrycorreia.wordpress.com/order-mhi/ 

I’m throwing in a free MHI patch, and I’ll autograph all the books.  Not that my signature is worth anything, but it makes me feel kinda cool. 

And for those of you that have already read MHI, I’ve just got one favor to ask.  Help me get this thing out there!  If you liked it, tell please tell your friends. 

Thanks

 -Larry Correia

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